THE STAGE 32 LOGLINES
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ON THE EDGE OF NIGHT
By Rodriquez Fruitbat
A woman who awakes devoid of memories and locked in a hotel room must fight her clone for limited food or escape into a world of terrifying creatures.
SYNOPSIS:
On the Edge of Night is a Sci-Fi Horror that explores identity as a newly created clone struggles for survival while she encounters versions of herself that have been shaped by their divergent experiences.
Tonally, this is Moon meets Aliens.
The story begins when Leona wakes up strapped to a hotel room bed, terrified and confused. Who is she? Why is she trapped here? What are the creatures outside her door? When an identical clone, Leona Two, appears in her bed the next day, confusion mounts. Is she crazy? Dreaming? Is this an experiment…?
Realizing that limited food means one of them will have to kill to survive, Leona and her clone reach an unsteady truce and venture out. When they see a blood-splattered hallway, the clone betrays Leona and locks her out. Leona’s shouts attract a terrifying creature who breaks into the room and takes Leona Two away.
In Leona’s quest to escape this hellish building full of ravenous creatures, she encounters more troubling versions of herself, including a premature clone in a failing clone pod and a stalker who has survived by turning cannibal.
A lone wolf fighter rescues Leona but dashes any hopes of saving Leona Two by showing her a living victim slowly being consumed by larvae.
As impending nightfall threatens unspeakable new nightmares, Leona must choose between escaping to a possible refuge or staying to rescue the fighter who saved her life.
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Rodriquez Fruitbat I think you just need an adjective for the woman and a comma after "outside."
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Maurice Vaughan I've made a few changes to the logline, can I get your thoughts? :)
Hey, Rodriquez Fruitbat. I think you need a different adjective for the main character than "terrified." What's her personality like in the story?
"Woman" is too general. I suggest changing it to her position/title (agent, cop, etc.).
Also, in the logline, it says, "After waking up locked in a hotel room with her clone." That makes it sound like the clone is there when the main character wakes up, but in the synopsis, it says, "When an identical clone, Leona Two, appears strapped in the bed the next day, fear and distrust mounts."
Here's a logline suggestion: "After waking up locked in a hotel room without her memory (depending on how important her memory loss is), a _______ (adjective) _________ (her position/title) battles her clone over limited food while hungry creatures wait outside for her to leave."
Great advice in there. The challenge is that when Leona wakes up she has no position and no memories, and is therefore mostly a blank slate. There are some innate subconscious traits in her personality (a need to explore, an inquisitiveness, a need for human connection) but largely her personality is shaped by her circumstances. So when she wakes up early and finds her self strapped in while things fail around her, she already has a different experience than her clone who wakes up more pleasantly. That makes redefining her with one word difficult.
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we know it's gonna be something in this case it's larva, you gotta bring that in first and explain a little more... larva means more we want more!!!!
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