Frustrated with her teen daughter, an exasperated mother uses an old family recipe to turn her into a mindless zombie. Only to discover she's not as mindless as she seems.
In my opinion, your logline could use a bit of work. The logline would benefit if you included something about the mother's struggle to find an antidote to cure her daughter's condition--adding more conflict and tension. I'm assuming the mother has a change of heart and regrets her decision about the zombification and thus is trying to find a way to cure her daughter? At least that's the impression I get of where the story is headed based on the info available. Also, including a search for an antidote would add stakes that would pique the reader's interest even more. I hope this helps.
Thanks for the feedback, Sabrina! The mother actually doesn’t end up having a change of heart, but that just proves your point- that the logline could use a little more work. I’ll go back to the drawing board :)
Rated this logline
Rated this logline
Rated this logline
Rated this logline
Rated this logline
1 person likes this
In my opinion, your logline could use a bit of work. The logline would benefit if you included something about the mother's struggle to find an antidote to cure her daughter's condition--adding more conflict and tension. I'm assuming the mother has a change of heart and regrets her decision about the zombification and thus is trying to find a way to cure her daughter? At least that's the impression I get of where the story is headed based on the info available. Also, including a search for an antidote would add stakes that would pique the reader's interest even more. I hope this helps.
2 people like this
Thanks for the feedback, Sabrina! The mother actually doesn’t end up having a change of heart, but that just proves your point- that the logline could use a little more work. I’ll go back to the drawing board :)
1 person likes this
We need to know what happens after the daughter becomes a zombie.
Rated this logline
Rated this logline
Rated this logline
1 person likes this
A different approach to the premise. It makes me curious.