Based on Shakespeare's classic tale, two women risk their lives to share forbidden passions. Up to 5 strong female roles, a Bechdel Test winner.

SYNOPSIS:

Adapted from the 2005 play by the same name, Twelve Nights with Viola & Olivia explores the love of Olivia, a beautiful countess, for Viola, a young girl living as a boy named "Cesario." The film engagingly retells Shakespeare's story with brief fragments from Twelfth Night, interspersed with scenes written in period style, to challenge claims that same-sex desire is contrary to "traditional values": If Shakespeare is outside "traditional" American culture, what is within?

Viola is a young noblewoman who is living as a boy and using the name "Cesario", so she can travel while searching for her twin brother. Orsino is a count for whom she works, and whom she desire, and while Orsino finds "Cesario" inexplicably attractive, he wants to marry countess Olivia, beautiful, determined, and very intelligent. However, Olivia has vowed to not even consider marriage for 7 years, while she mourns the death of her brother.

Realizing that his "Cesario" is soft and feminine, even for a boy, he sends "him" to see Olivia as his love-messenger. Olivia falls in love with clever and gentle "Cesario" almost at first sight.

Contrary to how the love of Olivia for Viola is usually discounted as inconsequential and comical, Twelve Nights shows that 1) Olivia's love for Viola is deep and genuine, and 2) that "Cesario" is attractive to her because, not in spite, of "his" feminine masculinity. Whether "Cesario" is an unusually-feminine boy, a girl in boy's clothes, or even a male eunuch are as immaterial to Olivia as whether she is lesbian, bisexual, or straight. As for Viola, Twelve Nights introduces her to a mysterious female stranger who starts to open the interior of Shakespeare's cross-dressing cipher.

Ultimately Twelve Nights shows that the real reason Shakespeare married Olivia and Viola to men in his play is that he knew that society would not tolerate their being together, and might execute them if they tried. Moreover, although Shakespeare left it mostly unspoken, rape and murder are also ever-present threats to Viola so long as she lives in her male disguise, much as transgender people face today. By graphically showing the violence confronting Viola and Olivia throughout Shakespeare supposed "comedy," today's audiences can experience the excitement that audiences enjoyed when Twelfth Night was first performed.

As Olivia’s clown Feste explains when the film begins, the goal of Twelve Nights with Viola & Olivia is to remind viewers-- regardless of their gender, sex, sexual orientation, race, ethnicity, religion, or income status -- that the pain of not having a love desired is universal to all.

Story

The film opens with scenes of a woman being led through the streets of Illyria, a town on the Adriatic Sea, in the year 1602. The woman is condemned to die by the order of Count Orsino, the local ruler, because death is the ultimate penalty for homosexuality and cross-dressing. A priest in the procession is reciting the Psalm 130 in Latin, including the line that reads in English: “With the Lord there is mercy; and with him plentiful redemption.” At the command of Orsino, “Light the Faggots!” (bundles of twigs for fire-starting), the woman is burned alive. Countess Olivia shudders as she hears the screams of the dying woman through the windows of her bedchamber.

The scene shifts to a tavern in London in 1636, twenty years after the death of Shakespeare. An old woman is asked to lead a song, “My Thing is My Own”—a comic song about women refusing advances from men—which opens the film. After the titles, Feste, a jovial bard, introduces the story of “Twelfth Night” in a long poem:

Viola is a young noblewoman who is living as a boy and using the name "Cesario", while she searches for her twin brother named “Sebastian.” Orsino is a count for whom she works, and whom she desires. While Orsino finds "Cesario" inexplicably attractive, he wants to marry countess Olivia, beautiful, determined, and very intelligent. However, Olivia has vowed to not even consider marriage for seven years, while she mourns the death of her brother.

Realizing that his "Cesario" is soft and feminine, even for a boy, Orsino sends "him" to see Olivia as his love-messenger. Olivia falls in love with clever and gentle "Cesario" almost at first sight. To secretly inform “Cesario” of her love, she tricks her steward Malvolio into delivering a ring symbolizing her love to the “boy” she desires. Viola immediately recognizes what the ring means and what Olivia intends. Meanwhile, Olivia abandons her mourning veil in a giddy dance of girlish joy.

Maria, Olivia’s gentlewoman and maid of the bedchamber, sees Olivia’s surprising ecstasy and engages her in a discussion as to what “Cesario” may actually be. The possibilities are: A young boy, a eunuch, or a young girl. If “Cesario” is a young boy, Maria suggests that Olivia may not love “him” when he becomes a man. If a eunuch, then Olivia’s satisfaction in the bedroom will be lacking, and she also won’t be able to produce a family heir. If “Cesario” is really a girl in disguise—then Olivia has just fallen in love with herself!

Meanwhile, the London tavern-keeper introduced at the start of the film somehow enters Viola’s room. Her name is Judith,she is the sister of William Shakespeare, and remembers all the plays he wrote. Although she died years ago, now she has been magically revived.

Because she knows Shakespeare’s play and because she is a real person and not an imaginary character, Judith immediately realizes that “Cesario” is really a girl. She also knows that Olivia is kind and loves Viola specifically because she is not like most men. Not only is Viola clever, witty and attractive, but she is also gentle and not boastful. In short, Olivia loves Viola because Viola is not a man.

Orsino, on the hand, is moody, jealous, and more dangerous to Viola than she realizes. For example, Judith warns Viola that if her ruse is discovered, she will probably be raped, because there is no one to protect her. Viola, on the other hand, insists that refusing Olivia is the only way to protect the reputation of the countess.

Meanwhile, at the request of Olivia and the orders of Orsino, Viola visits Olivia every day to ask her to marry Orsino, and every day Olivia insists she only loves “Cesario.”

One day while leaving Olivia, a man she doesn’t know suddenly challenges Viola to a duel; she also doesn’t know why he would want to kill her. While preparations are made for the duel, the man practices his sword-fighting as Feste comes along. Viola, in desperation, asks Feste to see if Olivia would like to witness the sword “practice.” Feste wisely senses that Viola is in trouble.

Unable to avoid the fight and threatened with death if she tries to run away, she briefly fights the man until another man she has never seen stops the fight, and insists on taking Viola’s place. This leads to a battle between yet another man Viola doesn’t know until suddenly the local gendarmes come and arrest the man who rescued Viola. Viola is even more surprised when the arrested man, named “Antonio,” asks Viola for money that he claims he lent her, calling her “Sebastian,” the name of Viola’s brother. Since Viola doesn’t have the man’s money, the police take him and Viola escapes, but pursued by the men who challenged her. Seconds later, a terrified scream signals that Feste has just told Olivia that her “Cesario” is in danger; Olivia dispatches Feste to rescue her love immediately, promising to follow.

Rushing into the town, the men who challenged Viola instead meet Sebastian, who fights much better and more eagerly than his sister. Suddenly, Olivia bursts in with rapier drawn, and threatens to kill the man fighting Sebastian, her uncle Sir Toby, unless he stops now. After putting away her sword and beating up her uncle, Olivia proposes marriage to Sebastian. Upon the advice of Sir Toby, Sebastian accepts.

Meanwhile, Judith helps Viola guess what just happened. Viola has never considered that other men besides Orsino might be chasing Olivia, or that these other men might be so jealous of her for winning Olivia’s love that they would want to kill her, or at least try to win Olivia by showing their superior fighting ability. Viola now realizes that her position is so desperate that she suggests suicide would be preferred to murder.

In desperation, Judith urges Viola to return home and take over her family’s position, the same way that Olivia is in charge of her family’s wealth. It is at this moment that Viola tells Judith about the man who mentioned Sebastian, suggesting that her brother is still alive. Judith assures Viola that if she keeps up her hopes, she will be reunited with her brother.

Later that day, Feste and Judith are sitting outside Olivia’s house when Orsino and Viola walk by. While Feste is gone to ask Olivia to come out, some of Orsino’s men bring Antonio up to him. When Orsino asks Antonio why he came to a town where he would be arrested, the man shocks everyone by insisting that he rescued “Cesario” three months ago, and then followed him to this town just to be with him. Orsino tells Antonio that he cannot believe him, because “Cesario” has been in his employ for the last three months.

At this moment, Olivia and Maria arrive. Although Olivia has nothing kind to say to Orsino, she immediately asks “Cesario” why “he” skipped a meeting they had scheduled. From their exchange, Orsino realizes that his “messenger” has won Olivia’s love instead of him, which angers him so much he suggests that he might kill “Cesario” for it. When Olivia demands “Cesario” from Orisino, everyone is shocked to hear “Cesario” insist that he loves Orsino more than anyone else.

Finally, Olivia announces that “Cesario” is her husband. Viola denies it, but Maria declares that she witnessed Olivia marry “Cesario” that very day. Defeated, Orsino leaves Olivia to “Cesario,” but warns his former “gentleman” to never see him again.

While Viola is pleading to Orsino, Sir Andrew runs in, announcing that “Cesario” just hurt Olivia’s uncle in another fight. Although Orsino is shocked to hear that “Cesario” seems to be in two different places at once, the mystery is dispelled when Sebastian arrives. He first recognizes Antonio, and then his sister, Viola. Realizing that his most devoted and beautiful servant is an attractive noblewoman, Orsino announces that he will marry Viola.

Suddenly, Judith steps up and all the male actors wander off set. Judith first reminds Viola that not only will she lose all her male freedoms if she marries Orsino, but that the count is moody, violent, and so superficially attracted to female beauty that he will stop loving her as soon as she is no longer youthful. Instead, says Judith, Viola should accept the love of Olivia.

Viola reminds Judith that Olivia is already married. In response, Judith calls forth Olivia and informs her that as she married someone upon mistaken identity, her marriage may be annulled by (Church) law. When Olivia protests that Sebastian is just like his twin sister Viola, Judith reminds Olivia that Sebastian lacks the gentleness of Viola, and has, in fact, fought two pitched battles with her family members in the last two days. Moreover, Judith asks, how sure is Olivia that Sebastian even loves her now?

Realizing that everything Judith says is true, Olivia confesses her love for Viola, and then asks Viola if she loves her. Viola’s responds in her classic style: If she were a man, she would be glad to marry Olivia. Olivia interprets that as “Yes” and kisses Viola.

Now Maria enters to insist that contrary to Olivia’s faith that Judith can magically transform everything, in fact, everyone has to live in the real world of rules and laws. Judith’s replies by admitting that although she doesn’t know if she has any magical powers, she can leave everyone in this story when she wants. Since she can go and say what she wants, she presumes so can everyone else—but can they?

Silently, Viola releases Olivia, and then asks whether they must part because they will be killed if they don’t. Olivia replies by pledging to love Viola until she dies, and beyond, and asks her to be with her after they both die.

Judith asks Viola if this is really what she wants. Viola replies that, even though she feels like a real person, she thinks that she may just be a character in a play, and thus unable to do what she wants. Judith, on the hand, says Viola, is a real person who must die, but can change things when she is alive. Judith responds by bidding Viola farewell, and leaves.

At this point, Maria recites a passage in A Room of One’s Own (permission granted by literary estate) by Virginia Woolf, in which Woolf predicts that, if more women would write, then Shakespeare’s sister—the poet with the skills of Shakespeare but none of his opportunities—would rise from her grave and live again. Now that women write and are published, Judith, the sister of Shakespeare, finally lives to write her poetry.

When the spell is dispelled, all the characters reassemble. With a snap of her fingers, Olivia realizes that if Viola marries Orsino, then she and Viola will be sisters-in-law, and thus able to be close to each other for the rest of their lives. Slyly, she asks Orsino to accept her as his sister in-law, and Orsino gladly agrees.

TWELVE NIGHTS WITH VIOLA & OLIVIA

Twelve Nights with

VIOLA & OLIVIA

By Hannah Miyamoto

Copyright © Hannah Miyamoto 2005

1: ORSINO’S PALACE, ILLYRIA, ON THE ADRIATIC, 1600AD.

TITLE: (On black screen) “THE DUCHY OF ILLYRIA -1600”

MUSIC: Incidental music climaxing at the end of the scene.

MONTAGE

+ MEDIUM AND CLOSE-UP SHOTS: PEASANTS LAYING STRAW AND WOOD

UNDER A BURNING STAKE.

+ EXT. DOLLY. SKELETONS CHAINED ON GIBBETS ALL THE WAY TO

ORSINO'S PALACE. DAY

+ CUT TO FEMALE VICTIM, BOUND, BEING LED BY GUARDS.

SFX: Chains, footsteps.

+ CUT TO ORSINO AT THE EXECUTION PLACE AS FEMALE VICTIM ARRIVES

AT STAKE.

+ CU. LOGS BURNING FURIOUSLY. NIGHT

+ PULL BACK TO REVEAL WOMAN BEGINNING TO BURNING AT THE STAKE.

NIGHT

SFX: HIDEOUS SCREAMING.

+ INT. TEARFUL OLIVIA WATCHING FROM HER WINDOW AT A BONFIRE ON

THE HORIZON. NIGHT

+ CUT TO WOMAN BURN AT THE STAKE. NIGHT

MONTAGE ENDS

FADE TO BLACK

MUSIC: “Mistress Mine” (Music original, tempo andante,

instrumental as played by Feste at the beginning of scene #13)

MAIN TITLES: (Title: “Twelve Nights with Viola and Olivia” or,

“Do What You Will”

ADDITIONAL TITLES: Producer, Director, Creator

CUT TO...

2: INT. JUDITH'S TAVERN. 1636 AD. DAY

TITLE: “England – 1636”

TITLE: “20 Years after the death of Shakespeare”

TAVERN GUEST 1

(Drunk) Come now, Judy! Let’s have acatch!

TAVERN GUEST 2

(Less drunk) By my troth, the wenchhas an excellent breast. I had rather

than forty shillings I had so sweeta breath to sing as she has.

JUDITH

Would you have a love-song, or a songof good life?

TAVERN GUEST 2

A love-song. A love-song.

TAVERN GUEST 1

Ay, ay; I care not for good life.

Music: “My Thing is my Own” (c. 1723). Music original, tempo Allegro,

with chorus altered to go with drinking.

JUDITH

(Singing) I, a tender young maid,

have been courted by manyOf all sorts and trades as ever was

any.

A spruce haberdasher first spake mefair

But I would have nothing to do withsmall ware.

JUDITH makes rude gesture with her fingers on “small ware.”

Tavern guests roar with delight

JUDITH

My thing is my own, and I'll keep itso still

You other young lasses ye do what youwill.

My thing is my own, and I'll keep itso still

You other young lasses—Ho! Ho!

HEY!--ye do what you will.

Group raises their tankards at “Ho! Ho! HEY!”

TITLES: “(Actor Name) as JUDITH”

CUT TO...

3. OLIVIA’S GARDEN, ILLYRIA, ON THE ADRIATIC. DAY

OLIVIA, MARIA, FEMALE GUESTS

OLIVIA

(Singing) A sweet scented courtier did give me a kiss,

And promis'd me mountains if I wouldbe his,

But I'll not believe him, for it is

so true,

Courtiers do promise much more thanthey do.

At “give me a kiss,” OLIVIA points to her cheek and MARIA kissesit, other business. Guests laugh.

ALL

(Singing) My thing is my own, and I'llkeep it so stillYou other young lasses ye do what youwill.

My thing is my own, and I'll keep it

so still

You other young lasses—Ho! Ho!

HEY!--ye do what you will.

OLIVIA and MARIA dance together, as do guests during part ofthe chorus. All raise their arms at “Ho! Ho! HEY!”

TITLES: “(Actor Name) as OLIVIA” “(Actor Name) as MARIA”

CUT TO...

4. DECK OF A SHIP, ON THE ADRIATIC. DAY

VIOLA AND SEBASTIAN, CAPTAIN, SAILORS

VIOLA

(Singing) A Master of Music came withan intent,

To give me a lesson on my instrument,

I thank'd him for nothing, but bid himbe gone,

For my little fiddle should not beplaid on.

SEBASTIAN, holding a violin, plays the “Music teacher” who VIOLAdismisses at “bid him be gone”

My thing is my own, and I'll keep itso still

You other young lasses ye do what youwill.

My thing is my own, and I'll keep it

so still

You other young lasses—Ho! Ho!

HEY!--ye do what you will.

VIOLA and SEBASTIAN dance together, as do guests during partof the chorus. All raise their arms at “Ho! Ho! HEY!”

TITLES: “(Actor Name) as VIOLA” “(Actor Name) as SEBASTIAN”

CUT TO...

5. TOWN STREETS, ILLYRIA. DAY

ORSINO, CURIO, OFFICER WALKING SLOWLY AND SOMBERLY THROUGH

TOWN. TOWNSPEOPLE IN BACKGROUND.

JUDITH (V.O.)

(Singing) A fine Man of Law did comeout of the Strand,

To plead his own case with his fee inhis hand;

He made a brave motion but that would

not do,

For I did dismiss him and nonsuit him

too.

ORSINO drops a couple coins in the cup of a music player during

verse

TITLES: “(Actor Name) as ORSINO” “(Actor Name) as CURIO” “(Actor

Name) as OFFICER”

CUT TO...

6. EXT. OLIVIA'S HOUSE, ILLYRIA. DAY

FESTE, MARIA, SIR TOBY, SIR ANDREW, FABIAN, MALVOLIO

FESTE plays the song at a slower tempo

MARIA

(Singing) A fine dapper tailor, witha yard – in -his -hand

Did profer his service to be atcommand

He spoke of a slit that I had aboveknee,

But I'll have no tailors to stitch it

for me.

My thing is my own, and I'll keep itso still

You other young lasses ye do what youwill.

My thing is my own, and I'll keep itso still

You other young lasses--ye do what

you will.

MARIA makes a vulgar gesture at “yard in his hand,” “slit aboveknee,” and “I’ll have no tailors” sparking some laughter byothers. SIR TOBY and MARIA dance. The mood is rather somber,

and FESTE plays the chorus without words. MALVOLIO appears looksannoyed, and leaves

TITLES: “(Actor Name) as SIR TOBY” “(Actor Name) as SIR ANDREW”

“(Actor Name) as FABIAN” “(Actor Name) as MALVOLIO”

MONTAGE

(Next verse is instrumental. Various scenes. ANTONIO, as

sailor, whistling the tune)

MONTAGE ENDS

TITLE: “(Actor Name) as ANTONIO”

CUT TO...

7. INT. JUDITH’S TAVERN. DAY

JUDITH

(Singing) Now here I could reckon ahundred and more

Besides all the Gamesters recited

before

That made their addresses in hopes of

a snapBut as young as I was I understoodthat:

My thing is my own, and I'll keep itso still

You other young lasses ye do what youwill.

My thing is my own, and I'll keep itso still

Until I be married, say men what theywill.

JUDITH bows.

TAVERN GUEST 2

Beshrew me, she’s a fine wench.

CUT TO...

8. EXT. ORSINO'S PALACE. DAY

TITLE: ILLYRIA – THE PALACE OF COUNT ORSINO

FESTE

Welcome friends!

Grant me leave, to ask this ye:

What treasur’d fruit hangs sweeterthan true love?

Can music play’d or art display’dturn love-

Struck eyes from that in which theyhave found, like

A pearl o’ parlous deep, love’spromise pregnant?

What gall burns tender hearts morefierce than love

Forbidden?—Swept from hand by force

majeure?

What hearts bear not such scars till

tender’d to

Embracing earth below? When shall we,

Before the age expires, give fair andtrue Love

Its full-tale due?—Beset not more

sweet Cupid’s aim,

But laud and hymn his cherish’d giftsas he

Doth will to grant poor mortals mir’din worldly cares.

Or shall we fore’er bind ourselves to

witness

Surd laughter o’er bitter anger, and

more yet,

Vain melancholy smiling at grief?

Kind sirs, fair ladies, bonnykindred. Feste, am I, of Illyria—

A happy land where love, as hope andsong, springsEternal as the sun. Although they

call me wit

And fool, yet both doth rise o’weari’d memory.

“Experience doth teach,” they say,

and long amI learn’d, if letter’d light. So tendto this tale,

10

Which did but shortly pitch and tossour realm.

MONTAGE INT/EXT. LOCATIONS -VARIOUS. DAY/NIGHT

+ EXT. (FOUND FOOTAGE) SHIP IN A HEAVY STORM. DAY

DURING THIS,

FESTE (VO CONT'D)

‘Twas in a roaring tempest, thatturn’d the sea

To green and white, and in that nightdid smash

A ship that bore a girl and boy, truenoble born

Whose kin cruel Fate had taken i’ th’

twelve-month

+ EXT. SEBASTIAN, CLINGING TO A SHIP’S MAST. NIGHT

DURING THIS,

FESTE (VO CONT'D)

Now had that boy been launch’d upon

the savage sea,

As so was last he seen, a-clinging tothe

Ship’s mast.

+ EXT. VIOLA RISING FROM THE OCEAN, BEING DRAGGED UP THE BEACH

BY THE CAPTAIN. DAY

FESTE (VO CONT'D)

Once sav’d to shore, the maid did

‘bark to find

Her kin. To gain the freedom o’ theland,

+ INT. VIOLA BINDING HER BOSOM AND DRESSING AS CESARIO. DAY

DURING THIS,

11

FESTE (VO CONT'D)

The maid did take the habit and the

name

O’ master, more a eunuch, one

“Cesario.”

Song-blest, more else worth service

o’ the Count

Who rules our realm. A noble duke, in

nature as

In name:. Orsino. Lord of great

estate,

Of fresh and stainless youth;

+ INT. VIOLA AS CESARIO AND ORSINO STRIDING THROUGH ORSINO'S

HOUSE. DAY

DURING THIS,

FESTE (VO CONT'D)

Whose majesty did sweep the heart o’

said

Young man-garb’d maid, who could butweep alone, for;

By fate was she to see her love oftvainly flingHis love at the disdainingbattlements

Of fair Olivia, the lady and

countess.

+ EXT. OLIVIA ATTENDED BY MARIA IN HER GARDEN. DAY

DURING THIS,

FESTE (VO CONT'D)

The Lady Olivia:

A virtuous maid, the daughter of a

count;

That died some twelvemonth since,

then leaving herIn the protection of his son, herbrother,

Who shortly also died; for whose dearlove,

She hath abjur'd the company andsight of men.

12

+ EXT. ORSINO'S HOUSE. FESTE WALKING & NARRATING. DAY

DURING THIS,

FESTE (VO CONT'D

And so doth start this baleful tale

A maid in love with brother’s dust,

A maid seeks man she cannot trust

But must retain her male disguise

And drown her tears in gasps and

sighs.

Till then she’ll see love wanly wear,

Alas, to ‘nother, he doth swear.

Thus now begins this tale most true,

Pray give leave t’ give it’s due.

‘Twill tell before much time rush on,

Return I’ll to ye soon—anon!

MONTAGE ENDS

CUT TO...

13

9. EXT. ILLYRIA – THE PALACE OF COUNT ORSINO DAY

INT. ORSINO'S PALACE. DAY

ORSINO

O, when mine eyes did see Oliviafirst,

Methought she purg'd the air ofpestilence!

ORSINO pauses, then speaks as if suddenly struck by an idea

ORSINO

Who saw Cesario, ho?

VIOLA

On your attendance, my lord.

ORSINO

Cesario, thou know'st no less but all;

Although thy favor hath I known but days.

I have unclasp'd to thee the book of my soul.

Therefore, good youth, address thy gait untoher;

Unfold the passion of my love,

Surprise her with discourse of my dear faith!

VIOLA.

Sure, my lord,

If she be so abandon'd to her sorrow

She will never admit me.

ORSINO.

Dear lad, believe it;

For they shall yet belie thy happy years,

That say thou art a man: Diana's lipIs not more smooth and rubious; thy small pipeIs as the maiden's organ, shrill and sound,

And all is semblative a woman's part.

She will attend it better in thy youthThan in a nuncio's of more grave aspect.

At “Diana’s lip” and “small pipe,” ORSINO motions across VIOLA’s

body parts).

Exit VIOLA.

CUT TO...

14

10. OLIVIA’S HOUSE.

VIOLA

My lord and master loves you; O, suchlove

Could be but recompens'd!

OLIVIA

How does he love me?

VIOLA

With adorations, fertile tears,

With groans that thunder love, withsighs of fire.

OLIVIA

Your lord does know my mind; I cannotlove him:

He might have took his answer long

ago.

VIOLA

If I did love you in my master'sflame,

In your denial I would find no sense;

OLIVIA

Why, what would you?

VIOLA

Make me a willow cabin at your gate,

Write loyal cantos of contemned love,

And sing them loud even in the deadof night;

Halloo your name to the reverberatehills,

And make the babbling gossip of theair

Cry out, “Olivia!”

OLIVIA is filled with joyous admiration; she brings her faceclose enough to VIOLA’s to kiss; but pulls back and speaks

instead.

OLIVIA

You might do much. What is yourparentage?

VIOLA

[Pretending to forget OLIVIA’s

15

approach.] Above my fortunes, yet mystate is well; I am a gentleman.

OLIVIA

Get you to your lord;

I cannot love him: let him send no

more;

OLIVIA cannot resist flirting with VIOLA

Unless, perchance, you come to me

again,

to tell me how he takes it. Fare you

well;

I thank you for your pains. Spend this

for me.

OLIVIA takes a few coins from her purse and offers them to VIOLA.

VIOLA

I am no fee'd post, lady; keep your

purse:

My master, not myself, lacks

recompense.

May love make his heart a heart offlint;

Farewell, fair cruelty.

VIOLA bows to OLIVIA, then exits.

OLIVIA

'What is your parentage?'

'Above my fortunes, yet my state iswell;

I am a gentleman.' I'll be sworn thou

art;

Thy tongue, thy face, thy limbs,

actions, and spirit,

Do give thee five-fold blazon. Not

too fast! Soft, soft!

Unless the master were the man. How

now?

Even so quickly may one catch theplague?

OLIVIA

What ho, Malvolio!

Enter MALVOLIO.

MALVOLIO

Here, madam, at your service.

16

OLIVIA

Run after that same peevish

messenger,

The county’s man: He left this ringbehind him,

Would I or not; Tell him I'll none of

it.

Hie thee, Malvolio!

MALVOLIO

Madam, I will.

Exit MALVOLIO.

CUT TO...

17

11. INT. VIOLA’S CHAMBER. DAY

Viola holds Olivia’s ring as she paces the floor.

VIOLA

Disguise, I see thou art awickedness.

Fortune forbid my outside have notcharm'd her!

She made good view of me; indeed, somuch

that, methought her eyes had lost her

tongue.

For she did speak in startsdistractedly.

She loves me, sure: The cunning of herpassionInvites me to her as this churlish

messenger.

I am the man.

If it be so, poor lady: better lovea dream.

For never can I be, what I doth seem.

CUT TO...

18

12. EXT. OLIVIA’S GARDEN. DAY

OLIVIA

Maria, by Jove’s grace, he is most

wonderful!

MARIA

So unconstant is my lady’s heart—she

let a servant board and conquer?

OLIVIA

Nay, he neither boarded nor

conquer’d; nor room’d and boarded.

MARIA

Verily, and yet what under moon and

sun swept thou in an instant?

OLIVIA

‘Twas not an instant. Yet when I

beheld his limbs, his frame, his

youthful breast—his soft cheek and

the wisp o’er his lip—knew I had I met

my love most true.

MARIA

Beheld his limbs, my lady? What

“limb” didst thou see?

OLIVIA

‘Twas true love, cans’t you see? The

peace in his eyes, the strength in his

arms, the force in his legs, ‘twas all

as should be in man. Love felt I of

him hath I seen no lady behold, much

less I. ‘Twas a love hath ever I

dreameth be mine, but never beheld.

‘Twas love that passeth between

women.

MARIA

Marry, the vessel in which thou hast

repos’d thy love doth most resemble

a she... Only youth taketh thou! Men

grow harder... [pause for double

entendre] Verily, men grow harder, as

tree’s bark doth from sapling grow.

He who sweepeth thou be more

“gentle”–than “man.”

19

OLIVIA

Perhaps he be not “man” in all

manners—perhaps he be a man who

lacketh all his manhood.

OLIVIA motions across her pelvis.

MARIA

Mayhaps, if all be as thou dreams,

what might thou haveth? Thou might

have love, verily thou might haveth

love most true. But thou wouldst have

only love, and nothing... more.

MARIA motions across her pelvis

OLIVIA

What doth you know of love, Maria? May

it might be pric’d, schedul’d, and

markt’d? True love is like a bird in

the bush—nay, like lightning—oft

vanish’d the moment one reacheth

for’t. Love be not bottl’d and

stock’d—true love can only repose in

hearts of true lovers. Fair Maria,

one must strike while the iron is hot!

Maria humorously touches Olivia’s forehead, then breast, than

her lower body

MARIA

Verily, some part of my lady is “hot.”

Dear lady, thou knoweth but the outer

bark of that sapling man. What hath

taken thy heart but a form and shadow

that might’d be gentleman or

gentlewoman in manly garb? Mayhaps

thou hath fallen in love with thine

self?

OLIVIA

Like fair Narcissus at the pool?

MARIA

Ay, my lady, that’s the thing. Doth

thou not see? All thou prize in that

boy may vanish like a midsummer

dream. Perchance, when he delivers

intelligence of his defeat at thy

hands, he’ll not be salli’d to thy

“breastworks...” again.

20

OLIVIA

Nay, but if my “breastworks...” and

my fortifi’d heart hath not repuls’dthe Count for this length, we willhave another essay. Still more, I’llwarrant the Count try his sameapproach and employ his same envoy.

MARIA

Constancy in man is most mark’d by howeasily be his moves clairvoi’d.

OLIVIA

Speaketh you ‘gainst man and men

prejudg’d.

MARIA

By my troth, my lady, mice more thanmen fool us—perchance we look with

eyes and not heart.

OLIVIA

Be man what manneth be,

If he be gentleman, and notunfaithful knave,

He will yet soon return to us, truly.

MARIA

Of honesty, my lady? What means thatin man?

OLIVIA

(Ignoring another thrust by MARIAagainst men) Thou recalls the flighto’ Malvolio.

He bears a ring of mine.

OLIVIA shows her hand to MARIA, MARIA briefly clutches the handthat OLIVIA offers.

MARIA

(Surprised) Not that precious ring!

OLIVIA

[With a nonchalant wave] A trifle,

Maria.

I deceiv’d Malvolio to think the ringwas the Count’s present.

MARIA

To think that,

Thy man might serve thy house all

21

sundry circuitsO’ this orb, yet not see his cargo bethine.

By troth, small things elude theirfalse attention.

OLIVIA

(With obvious delight)

The “size” of things be not at issue,

truly.

When he doth find that yonder youth,

he’ll give himThat ring.

MARIA

Doubtless the youth be confus’d…

OLIVIA

Ay, he shalt be confus’d, for he

cans’t “return” a ring he knows is nothis master’s. Verily, he’ll returnthe ring here—else, he’ll accept thelove tendered.

MARIA

Aha,! t The ploy’s the thing!

[A beat]

Mayhaps he pockets the ring and makesit his?

OLIVIA

Well then he shalt be prov’d a knave

not worthyOf my love. But marry, should he shycoin made

A gift most free, why should he takewhen more

A dear thing come by mischance?

MARIA

(Feigning innocence) Coin made gift?

OLIVIA

Sure, Maria, didst thou listen for

ev’ry word pass’d twixt I and him?

MARIA

Ay, I did attempt to hear all.

OLIVIA

[Caressing MARIA’s cheek, and

laughing]

22

Maria, now who is the constant one

And who knows thy moves?

MARIA

Thou knows me like the omnipresence,

my lady.

Thou knows me biblically.

[OLIVIA and MARIA laugh conspiratorially]

CUT TO...

23

13. INT. VIOLA’S CHAMBER. NIGHT

CU VIOLA TRIMMING THE NIB OF A QUILL PEN, OTHER BUSINESS AND

STARTING TO WRITE.

MEDIUM AND C.U. SHOTS AS JUDITH ENTERS. VIOLA SUDDENLY NOTICES

JUDITH, ALTHOUGH SHE IS NOTICEABLY CALMER THAN JUDITH.

VIOLA

My lady, how now? God save you.

JUDITH

And you, too, sir. For my foray, prithee, yourpardon.

VIOLA

Pray did not I surprise you.

JUDITH

Nay sir. All is strange, yet real.

[JUDITH motions off camera. Camera pans to reveal contemporarysound stage and crew]

JUDITH

Be this a playhouse? Stage I see; andplay-go’ers.

Yet under roof, and nay groundlins’penny-a-head.

VIOLA

Ay, a sort of theatre is this.

[JUDITH stares at VIOLA skeptically.]

What troubles you? Think I lie?

JUDITH

(Looking closely at VIOLA) A maid youare!

VIOLA

Aye; be that not untimely told.

JUDITH

What is your name?

VIOLA

By Cesario am I known.

24

JUDITH eyes VIOLA skeptically.

VIOLA

But by my troth, by Viola am I to kin and God.

VIOLA pauses while JUDITH absorbs these facts.

VIOLA

This manly outward I usurp but to findmy brother Sebastian, if he be;

‘Twas I with him till tempest did,

Toss him to the sea.

JUDITH pauses to think about what VIOLA said.

JUDITH

When saw you and this stage, mem’ry did cast meto days whence did I see plays written by brothero’ mine.

(pause) By Viola call’d you yourself?

VIOLA

Aye, fair woman.

JUDITH

Doth memr’y betray? A play o’ my brother did havea maid in man’s garb o’ that name.

VIOLA

Doth I not usurp, mayhaps she be I.

JUDITH

Verily, see I what hath I cros’t in sleep.

Truly, this play ‘tis that of brother mine.

Cros’t countless miles and years of time.

VIOLA

Doth you not fear? Lost from home, lost in time?

What will you be? What will be thine?

JUDITH

[To VIOLA] Dear brother penn’d most

sweet and true,

Heroes die but once, as is their due,

Elysia’s shore, thencefrom no manreturn’d

[To camera] Yet here stand I, my lifeconfirm’d

Hath died I once, what I say, canstsorrow’d Fate more bring?

Why fear I death? Say I to Fate: “O

Death–where is thy sting?”

25

ON LAST LINE, JUDITH RAISES HER ARM IN TRIUMPH. VIOLA LOOKS AT

JUDITH IN AMAZEMENT.

CUT TO...

26

14. EXT. OLIVIA’S GARDEN.DAY

VIOLA enters. SIR ANDREW enters and quietly takes a seat closeto a side door.]

JUDITH calls out from offstage, from the opposite direction thanVIOLA is looking.

JUDITH

O there thou art, Cesario!

VIOLA

Aye, madam.

JUDITH enters and walks to VIOLA, visibly excited and a bitbreathless, as though she had run in from outside and searchedbackstage for VIOLA.

What brings you here?

JUDITH

I seek you. Kind sir, give me leave to tell o’

‘mazing sights that I hath seen.

VIOLA

Prithee, do tell.

JUDITH

Returneth I but scarcely, ranging without.

Beholding streets but strangl’y pav’d, nayhorse

Nor ass in sight. More naught but metal cartsWith woodless wheels, and rumbling strangelywithin.

BRIEF CUT TO JUDITH EXT. EXAMINING PARKED CARS ON A STREET

OR POSSIBLY THE CAMERA PANS FROM THE LAUREL STREET BRIDGE

TO REVEAL THE ANACHRONISM OF THE CA-163 FREEWAY BELOW.

VIOLA

Praise Jove you not a-fear’d your wits.

JUDITH

Aye, sir.

Then trumpets from the ether play’d;

Forthwith, a man did speak unto a case.

VIOLA

A man spoke unto a case?

27

SFX: Cell phone rings, off camera.

CURIO answers immediately. He shouts so loudly that everyoneon the set hears him.

CURIO

Hello? Look, I can’t talk now—I’m

acting in a film.

CURIO rises and starts towards the side door of the studio.

Huh? Oh, I’m playing CURIO in somepost-modern adaptation of Twelfth

Night. It’s very self-referential. Idon’t know, some crazy dyke wrote it.

Huh? Well, I’m only in two scenes. No.

Wait. I’m in three scenes.

CURIO closes the door and exits.

VIOLA

[To camera] Tomorrow, he may be in no scenes.

JUDITH LOOKS PUZZLED FOR A MOMENT, THEN SPEAKS.

JUDITH

Why yes, good sir. The case unto that he spokeIt was much like that.

VIOLA

Verily, to you, we must all seem mad.

JUDITH

Troth, sir; but thee, more than thine ‘presses

me most.

VIOLA

Oh, good woman? What most of all?

JUDITH

Most, surely—I did spy two maidens embrace and

kiss.

BRIEF CUT OF TWO WOMEN IN MODERN CLOTHES (OLIVIA ANDMARIA?) KISSING IN A CORNER.

‘twas not a sisterly graze upon a fair one’scheek—‘twas a kiss of love most passion’d.

VIOLA

Think you must our world’s but a witches’sSabbath.

28

All wanton and wicked and no rule remiss’d.

Maid’s legs dyk’d nightly in tribading bliss.

JUDITH

[with a wicked gleam] “Tribadingbliss?” Nay gentle-lady: For such aswe are made of, as such we must be.

VIOLA

Good madam?

JUDITH

Art thou the sole soul blind to Olivia’s charms?

Doth not thou find her coml’y and fair?

Art all thy courtly words but artifice andsnare?

When she smileth upon thee, doth thou not quaverbut slight?

Feel any pull towards her reds and her whites?

VIOLA turns away from JUDITH, composes herself, and responds.

VIOLA

Ay, Olivia is of beauty rare and priz’d, and tho’she stands in the way of my desire’s eye—one jot,

I grudge her not.

Still, did not I love my lord, but were sweptby Olivia’s stream, what good might ensue?

When she’d learn’t her love’s true sex, what

might she do?

What man would then have her for wife?

Crush now her heart, to save her life.

Turn I from her, as her truest friend

For maids must sure marry, and only to men.

EXIT JUDITH AS OLIVIA APPROACHES.

Enter OLIVIA.

OLIVIA

Give me leave, I beseech you. I did

send,

After the last enchantment you didhere,

A ring in chase of you; so did I abuseMyself, my servant, and, I fear, you.

What might you think?

OLIVIA and VIOLA stare at each other in silence, before VIOLA

speaks.

29

VIOLA

I pity you.

OLIVIA

[Slowly] That's a degree to love.

VIOLA

No, not a bit; 'tis a vulgar proof,

As very oft we pity enemies.

OLIVIA

[Desperately] Cesario, by the rosesof the spring,

By maidhood, honor, truth, and everything,

I love thee so, that, despite all thypride,

Nor wit nor reason can my passionhide.

VIOLA

By innocence I swear, and by my youth,

I have one heart, one bosom, and one

truth,

And that no woman has; nor never none

Shall mistress be of it, save I alone.

Olivia retrieves a locket and gives it to Viola.

OLIVIA

Here, wear this jewel for me, 'tis mypicture:

Refuse it not; it hath no tongue to

vex you:

[Pathetically] Yet come again; forthou perhaps mayst moveThat heart, which now abhors, to like

his love?

OLIVIA curtsies, and exits.

CUT TO...

30

15. INT. VIOLA’S CHAMBER. NIGHT

ENTER VIOLA

JUDITH

How is the Lady Olivia?

VIOLA

[Resignedly] She loves me!

JUDITH

Dost thou love her a shred more than

before?

VIOLA

Nay, nay nay!

Doth none o’ this true moonshine

madness catch you?

JUDITH

Nay, all fits my compass.

[A beat] Mayhaps, thou sees just whatOlivia

Doth prize in thee, sir.

Thou art gentle, learned, clever, andfair.

But tuppence for that—thou art rare!

The Countess may have any man sheshould see.

But she’s seen every man—and she

wants thee!

MONTAGE

+ ORSINO WALKS IN ON VIOLA, DISCOVERS SHE'S A WOMAN

+ ORSINO RAPING VIOLA

+ VIOLA BEING LED TO THE STAKE

+ TEARFUL OLIVIA WATCHES BONFIRE ON THE HORIZON. NIGHT

DURING THIS:

VIOLA

Sage woman, what wouldst I do? My lordI seek—

JUDITH

[Interrupting forcefully] Who not

31

seeketh you.

Perchance thy lord quit his hunt, how

will thee—

Be the only love, that your lover

sees?

And if Orsino comes to thee, shalt

thou reveal?

How wilt thou show what thou now

conceal?

And know this true—the devil to care.

If thy lord comes to thee, he’ll strip

thee bare!

How knows what Olivia doth see in

thee?

Mayhaps she doth know, thou art a

man-she?

Thy lord that thou love—I know he’s

not guess’d,

Else he’d have thee long ago prone and

undress’d.

I love thee, Viola—like daughter of

mine.

MONTAGE ENDS

JUDITH

And weep wouldst I for thee, if it’d

give thee more time.

But time runneth short, thy state isill-curst.

Choose lady or tiger?—Doubt which

one’s worse?

CUT TO...

32

16. EXT. OLIVIA’S GARDEN. DAY

OLIVIA stands, sits next to VIOLA, too much in love to look at

VIOLA. Suddenly OLIVIA turns to VIOLA.

OLIVIA

What shall you ask of me that I'lldeny,

That honor sav'd may upon askinggive?

VIOLA

Nothing but this,--your true love

for my master.

OLIVIA

How with mine honor may I give himthat

Which I have given to you?

VIOLA

(Insistent) I will acquit you!

OLIVIA pauses, but can think of no more to say to persuade VIOLA

OLIVIA

Well, come again to-morrow; fare theewell.

A fiend like thee might bear my soulto hell!

OLIVIA curtsies, and exits. Enter SIR TOBY and FABIAN, quickly.

SIR TOBY

Gentleman, God save thee!

VIOLA

And you, sir.

SIR TOBY

That defence thou hast, betake thee

to 't.

Thy intercepter, full of spite,

bloody as the hunter, attends thee atthe orchard-end.

VIOLA

[Backing away.] I will return to thehouse and desire some conduct of the

lady.

33

I am no fighter!

SIR TOBY

Sir, no; Back you not to the house,

unless you would undertake with me

which you would avoid with him.

VIOLA

Why this is midsummer madness!

Know for me what my offence is; it issomething of my negligence, nothingof my purpose.

SIR TOBY

I will do so. Signior Fabian, stay youby this gentleman till my return.

EXIT SIR TOBY. FABIAN JOINS VIOLA.

VIOLA

Pray you, sir, do you know of thismatter? What manner of man is he?

FABIAN

Sir, he is, the most skillful,

bloody, and fatal opposite that youcould possibly have found in Illyria.

FABIAN places both hands on VIOLA to help calm her. Enter SIR

TOBY and SIR ANDREW, practicing his swordsmanship.

FESTE enters from off camera, sees VIOLA and FABIAN, then sees

SIR TOBY and SIR ANDREW practicing his swordsmanship upstage.

He then walks by VIOLA and FABIAN, and speaks as he passes.

FESTE

[To VIOLA] God save you, sir.

VIOLA

Pray, he does.

FESTE looks again at SIR ANDREW

FESTE

A fair morn’ for practicing

swordship, your worship.

VIOLA

Aye, sir. My best to your lady.

Perchance she’d view our fence?

34

VIOLA STARES AT FABIAN, WHO EYES VIOLA WARILY, MINDFUL OF SIR

TOBY’S THREAT TO FIGHT VIOLA. FESTE SENSES THAT VIOLA NEEDS

HELP, BUT HE PRETENDS IGNORANCE. IN THE DISTANCE, WE CAN SEE

THE BACKS OF SIR ANDREW AND FABIAN AS THEY DO TWELFTH NIGHT

BUSINESS.

FESTE

Perchance she will, sir. God protectthee!

FESTE exits. FABIAN and VIOLA watch him go.

FABIAN

[To VIOLA] Courage, lad.

SIR TOBY motions to FABIAN.

FABIAN

[To VIOLA:] God’s mercy on you.

VIOLA stands in terror after FABIAN leaves. SIR TOBY and FABIAN

begin walking towards each other, meeting at the half-way pointbetween VIOLA and SIR ANDREW.

SIR TOBY

There's no remedy, sir: he will fightyou for's oath sake. Marry, he hathbetter thought of his quarrel;

therefore draw, for the supportanceof his vow; he will not hurt you.

SIR TOBY motions to FABIAN; they exchange places again.

VIOLA

(Aside) Pray God defend me! A littlething would make me tell them how muchI lack of a man.

FABIAN

[To VIOLA:] Come, lad. The knight hasgiven his honor you shan’t be harmed.

FABIAN and SIR TOBY bring VIOLA and SIR ANDREW together, thenFABIAN and SIR TOBY move away. VIOLA and SIR ANDREW fight

comically.

Enter ANTONIO.

ANTONIO

Halt, gentlemen!

35

FABIAN

More matter for a May morning!

ANTONIO approaches SIR ANDREW

ANTONIO

Put up your sword. If this younggentlemanHave done offence, I take the fault

on me;

If you offend him, I for him defy you.

SIR TOBY walks briskly to ANTONIO.

SIR TOBY

You, sir! Why, what are you?

ANTONIO

One, sir, that for his love dares yetdo more

Than you have heard him brag to youhe will.

SIR TOBY

Nay, if you be an undertaker, I am for

you.

SIR ANDREW, VIOLA and FABIAN retreat. SIR TOBY and ANTONIO draw

swords and fight realistically. SCOPE, HERE, FOR A DAZZLINGDISPLAY OF SWORDSMANSHIP.

[Enter CURIO and OFFICER.]

FABIAN

Hold, good Sir Toby, hold! Here comesome officers.

SIR TOBY

[To ANTONIO] I'll be with you anon.

Exit SIR ANDREW, FABIAN, and SIR TOBY. CURIO and OFFICER enter

and approach ANTONIO.

CURIO

This is the man; do thy office.

OFFICER

Antonio, I arrest thee at the suit of

Count Orsino.

ANTONIO lays down his sword.

36

ANTONIO

[To VIOLA] This comes with seeking

you:

But there's no remedy; I shall answerit.

What will you do, now my necessityMakes me to ask you for my purse?

VIOLA

What money, sir?

For the fair kindness you have show'dme here,

I'll lend you something. My having isnot much;

Hold, there's half my coffer.

ANTONIO

Will you deny me now?

OFFICER

Come, sir, I pray you, go.

ANTONIO

Let me speak a little. This youth thatyou see hereI snatch'd one half out of the jawsof death,

Reliev'd him with such sanctity of

love,

But O how vile an idol proves thisgod!

Thou hast, Sebastian, done goodfeature shame.

CURIO

The man grows mad; away with him!

Come, come, sir.

ANTONIO

[Resignedly] Lead me on.

Exit ANTONIO, CURIO and OFFICER. VIOLA, stares as ANTONIO is

taken away.

VIOLA

Methinks his words do from such

passion flyThat he believes himself; so do not

I.

Prove true, imagination, O, prove

true,

That I, dear brother, be now ta'en for

37

you!

He nam'd Sebastian. I my brother know

Outward like myself; even such and so

For him I imitate. O heavens above,

Make tempests kind, and salt waves

love!

Exit VIOLA, briskly. Re-enter SIR TOBY, SIR ANDREW, and FABIAN.

SIR TOBY

A paltry boy, and more a coward thana hare.

FABIAN

A coward, a most devout coward,

religious in it.

SIR ANDREW

I'll after him again and beat him.

SIR TOBY

Do; cuff him soundly, but never drawthy sword.

SIR ANDREW

[A beat] And I do not,-

SIR ANDREW draws his sword and hurriedly exits with his swordraised high. Exit SIR TOBY and FABIAN more slowly.

FX: Birds singing until...

OLIVIA (OFF CAMERA)

(SCREAMS) WHAT!? What say you?

A beat. Then, OLIVIA’s pounding feet are heard as she runs out

of her house in her fancy slippers. OLIVIA bursts out.

Enter OLIVIA followed quickly by FESTE and then MARIA.

FESTE

My lady, fear not.

OLIVIA

Go to, sir! Prithee!—find him!—save

him! I would not have him miscarry forhalf my dowry.

FESTE

Fear not, madonna

38

Pegasus, on his legs of horse.

Ne’er as quick did sally forth!

Anon.

FESTE exits in haste. MARIA drapes her comforting arm overOLIVIA.

MARIA

To the house, pray, dry thy tears.

Tis not time to fret, or fear.

Your love’ll be deliver’d, yourheart’s desire.

Find diversion within, withal

transpire.

OLIVIA is visibly shaken, and weeping.

CUT TO...

39

17. EXT. THE CHURCH. DAY

FX CHURCH BELL TOLLS MOURNFULLY.

MUSIC: FUNERAL MUSIC

Church doors open

ENTER PRIEST (bearded and enrobed as for a funeral), SIR ANDREW(wearing a black armband and carrying a funeral wreath).

ENTER OLIVIA (veiled in deep mourning, weeping), VIOLA,

accompanied by SIR TOBY. PRIEST comforts OLIVIA at the churchthreshold. PRIEST closes church doors.

FX CHURCH BELL STOPS TOLLING

ENTER PRIEST from church doorway. He stands up the wreathoutside, now placarded “REST IN PEACE: SOMEONE NOT IN THIS

MOVIE.”

MUSIC: Something cheerful and Shakespearean

Exit VIOLA.

Enter SEBASTIAN, armed with a rapier and dagger, followed bythe CLOWN, who walks up to SEBASTIAN.

FESTE

Will you make me believe that I am notsent for you?

SEBASTIAN

Go to, thou art a foolish fellow. Let

me be clear of thee.

FESTE

Well held out, i' faith! No, I do not

know you; nor I am not sent to you bymy lady; nor your name is not MasterCesario;. Nothing that is so is so.

Enter SIR ANDREW

SIR ANDREW

Now, sir, have I met you again?

There's for you.

SIR ANDREW swings at SEBASTIAN, and misses.

40

SEBASTIAN

Why, there 's for thee, and there, andthere.

SEBASTIAN swings at SIR ANDREW, and with his first punch, SIRANDREW staggers backwards. SEBASTIAN continues hitting SIRANDREW, striking hard each time. When SIR ANDREW collapses,

SEBASTIAN draws his dagger, and turns to the camera.

SEBASTIAN

Are all the people mad?

Enter SIR TOBY, [SEBASTIAN turns back to SIR ANDREW, but SIRTOBY quickly seizes SEBASTIAN from behind.

FESTE

This will I tell my lady straight. Iwould not be in some of your coats for

twopence.

Exit FESTE.

SIR TOBY and SEBASTIAN struggle.

SEBASTIAN

(Shouting) Let go thy hand! I will befree from thee.

SIR TOBY

Come, my young soldier, put up youriron: you are well flesh'd.

SEBASTIAN drops his dagger, then throws off SIR TOBY and turnsto face him.

SEBASTIAN

What wouldst thou now?

SEBASTIAN draws his sword.

[To SIR TOBY:] If thou dar'st temptme further, draw thy sword!

SIR TOBY

What, what? I must have an ounce or

two of this malapert blood!

[SIR TOBY draws his sword. SEBASTIAN and SIR TOBY fight.

Elaborate swordplay. Enter OLIVIA, and MARIA, away from the

41

fight. OLIVIA has a sword and sheath buckled to her dress. OLIVIAsees the fight from a distance; her mood changes from worry toanger in an instant. Suddenly she draws her sword and marchesquickly toward SIR TOBY, from his back, in the stern gait of

a soldier, with MARIA following.. OLIVIA approaches SIR TOBYand stands ready to strike him.]

OLIVIA

Hold, Toby; on thy life, I chargethee, hold!

SIR TOBY

Madam!

SIR TOBY pulls away from SEBASTIAN and points his sword loosely.

SIR TOBY is extremely surprised, then sheathes his sword. OLIVAcooly hands the sword to MARIA, who receives it limply. OLIVIAturns to SIR TOBY.

OLIVIA

Will it be ever thus?

OLIVIA pushes SIR TOBY

OLIVIA

Ungracious wretch!

OLIVIA punches SIR TOBY in the belly

OLIVIA

Fit for the mountains and the

barbarous caves!

[OLIVIA punches SIR TOBY in the groin, at which point, hecollapses. OLIVIA continues to lecture SIR TOBY while he lieson the ground. SIR ANDREW exits in panic.]

OLIVIA

Where manners ne'er were preach'd!

Out of my sight!

FABIAN

[To SIR TOBY, still on the ground]

Come, knight. Thou was’t bested by amore savage fighter.

OLIVIA

[To SEBASTIAN:] Be not offended, dearCesario.

I prithee, gentle friend,

42

Let thy fair wisdom, not thy passion,

sway

In this uncivil and unjust extent

Against thy peace.

OLIVIA, overcome with passion and desire, kisses SEBASTIAN,

fully on the lips. He is initially shocked, but returns the kissonce he realizes he likes OLIVIA’s kiss. OLIVIA realizes what

she has done, and backs away in embarrassment. However,

SEBASTIAN recovers, and realizes that he liked OLIVIA’s kiss.

SEBASTIAN

[To camera] What relish is in this?

How runs the stream?

Am I mad, or else this is a dream?

Let fancy still my sense in; Lethe

steep;

If it be thus to dream, still let me

sleep!

[OLIVIA moves to SEBASTIAN with some hesitation.]

OLIVIA

[TO SEBASTIAN] Come, I prithee.

Would’st thou rule me?

SEBASTIAN

A moment, by your leave.

[To camera] Though my soul disputeswith my sense,

That this may be some error, but nomadness,

Yet doth this accident and flood of

fortune

So far exceed all instance, all

discourse,

That I shall wrangle with my reason,

That persuades me to any other trustbut

That I am mad;

[Pauses for thought.]

Or else the lady's mad; Yet if 't were

so,

She could not sway her house, commandher followers,

Take and give back affairs and theirdispatchWith such a smooth, discreet, and

stable bearing,

as I perceive she does.

Perchance I ask her handmaiden.

43

SEBASTIAN goes to MARIA.

[To MARIA] Your mistress hathproposed a thing againstall reason. Is your ladyship mad?

MARIA

Nay sir, madness touch only herkinsman.

MARIA nods towards SIR TOBY. SIR TOBY weakly waves to SEBASTIAN.

SIR TOBY

Go to her man; she is fair and loves

thee.

Wed her, bed her, and keep her

compn’y.

She’ll not thrash you for even causes

great.

She’s fill’d with love and dry ofhate.

Forswear thy doubts; she’s not tigernor shrew.

She is woman; kind, gentle and true.

OLIVIA

My lord? My liege. Need more timestill?

SEBASTIAN

Your wish is granted. Madam, I will.

CUT TO...

44

18. INT. VIOLA’S CHAMBER. DAY

JUDITH

My moon and stars! Dare me ask how artthou?

VIOLA

[Shouting] Are all these people mad?

JUDITH

What hast thou been through?

VIOLA

Been through? Nearly run through!

‘But skewered on a rapier!

JUDITH

In the fore-noon? Footpads on the

high street?

VIOLA

Not by knave—by knight.

JUDITH

By night—in day?

VIOLA

A knight—in rank and estate.

JUDITH

Dubbed by sover’gn—oath of fealty—?

JUDITH pantomimes the ceremony of touching the shoulders andhead with a sword to dub a knight, as though she were a queen.

VIOLA

(Nodding) Aye—not a chess-piece.

JUDITH

Forsooth. Hath this knight a name?

VIOLA

Verily. His name is—my life upon it!

JUDITH

Ill choice for words.

VIOLA

Aye, it’s all one. He ne’er told me!

45

JUDITH

Seeketh thy mortal dispatch, whilstencloak’d ‘in name?

Surely, he must be mad—possess’d.

Bewilder’d, be-witched—out of his

wits?

Had you been hurt; they’d seen thy—

VIOLA

[Interrupting] Nay, th’ kinsman of

the Lady Olivia assur’d me th’ faultwas mine.

JUDITH

This kinsman of thy lady is friend tothy foe?

VIOLA

She’s no one’s lady—not so.

JUDITH

Forsooth. Not thy lord’s, nor thine.

Nay, if this kinsman be not mad also.

VIOLA

Not as he seem’d.

JUDITH

Then, reason be found, if reason be

‘round.

Who is this brawler—this glutton o’

fence?

Where hast thou seen him but now or

past-hence?

VIOLA

The house of the lady—both of the men.

JUDITH

Ah, forsooth. Perchance he is

Olivia’s suitor—a spare?

VIOLA

Along with my lord—drown’d i’

sorrow’d care?

JUDITH

Aye—and what does he see? Kindly sheuses thee, bestows valu’d gifts.

Were wager’d, thou art younger,

fairer, more clever,

Than he. More witty, pleasing, all

46

graces maids seek.

Good-natur’d, light in heart, yet

‘bandon’d not to

Untim’ly disorders. What challenge

hath he?

[JUDITH pantomimes fighting with a sword, in the stylizedmotions of fencing.]

JUDITH

A martial challenge, sir. Retort byrapier,

Thy ‘viction writ wi’ thy own blood!

VIOLA

(Horrified) Carve a harmless boy?

A page but tender sent by local lord?

Condign, he slay me, as did meanbrother Cain?

Doth jealousy and covetness, make allmen insane?

If slay he me for cause so slight,

Then might he slay me for sixpence,

by right?

JUDITH

(Forcefully) Sixpence? Tuppence!

VIOLA

(dryly)..Life goes cheap in Illyria.

[VIOLA considers matters, and thenshe explodes.] O madam, men misrulelike heathen kings!

How dare they mock Truth, dismiss usas slatterns?

Too foul’d by Eve to lay hands on thehost?

Deny us pulpit, pen, and bench, the

press?

Be us should preach on Sabbath-day,

confound them!

JUDITH

Your peace, sister—they’ll duck you

soon, by faith.

[A beat] If life be mad, we’re in thebox.

How would you flee this? It’s our sadlot.

VIOLA

Then returneth the waves!—Life I

47

quitclaim!

If lorded, I’m slave—If lord I am

slain!

Take me to the river—Push me in the

water!

JUDITH

Ho, ho, Cesario!—Art thou a Baptist?

VIOLA

If Dissenter ‘twould make me, then

Baptist I’ll be.

Pray hold me under—a minute or three!

JUDITH

Prithee, sir. Tho’ close runs the

waters, not so deep is the stream.

Tho’ manly-garb’d, thou are noble.

Pray, name a she, not slav’d norslain?

Hard by, sways she her house withdispatch.

No man dwells in her house but that

she rules.

VIOLA

The Lady Olivia!

JUDITH

Verily. How art thy lands, my lady?

VIOLA

(Startled) My lands? My brother hathlands, not I.

JUDITH

Thy brother, may be lost to thedevouring sea.

VIOLA

(Defiant & assured) Perchance he’s

not, but waits for me to find him!

JUDITH

What card hath fortune turn’d? What

tale to tell?

VIOLA

My escape today ‘twas not entir’ly

mine.

A man, he came a-sudden, and he sav’d

me.

48

JUDITH

Thy stars art favour’d. Pray, how

nam’d this man?

VIOLA

Know not I. But he named Sebastian.

JUDITH

[With joy, disappointment, and awe.]

Thy brother has risen from furi’d

waves.

VIOLA

Sebastian is alive—where’s he to be

found?

JUDITH

My lady—my lord—if ever thou didst

hold faith for thy soulHold strong as the mightiest sea.

Cast off thy doubt and sail thy hopeThy brother will come to thee.

CUT TO...

49

19. EXT.BEFORE OLIVIA'S HOUSE. DAY.

Olivia’s house is a rich mansion built during the Renaissance.

A stone bench like that in Olivia’s garden is in front of the

house. FESTE and JUDITH sit together (he is romancing her a bit)

as he plays the first verse of “O, Mistress Mine”

Enter ORSINO and VIOLA. JUDITH notices the entry of VIOLA andstops FESTE from playing. ORSINO does not recognize JUDITH, butVIOLA only pretends not to recognize her.

ORSINO

(TO FESTE) Belong you to the Lady

Olivia, friends?

FESTE

Ay, sir; I am one of her trappings.

ORSINO

I know thee well; how dost thou, mygood fellow?

FESTE

Truly, sir, the better for my foes andthe worse for my friends.

ORSINO

Just the contrary; the better for thyfriends.

FESTE

No, sir, the worse.

ORSINO

How can that be?

FESTE

Marry, sir, my friends praise me andmake an ass of me. Now my foes tellme plainly I am an ass: so that by myfoes, sir, I profit in the knowledgeof myself, and by my friends I amabus’d.

ORSINO

Why, this is excellent.

FESTE

By my troth, sir, no; though it pleaseyou to be one of my friends.

50

ORSINO

Thou shalt not be the worse for me;

there's gold.

FESTE

But that it would be double dealing,

sir, I would you could make itanother.

ORSINO

You can fool no more money out of meat this throw; if you will let your

lady know I am here to speak with her,

it may awake my bounty further.

FESTE

Marry, sir, lullaby to your bounty,

I will awake it anon.

FESTE Exits

Enter ANTONIO, CURIO and OFFICER

VIOLA

Here comes the man, sir, that did

rescue me.

ORSINO

That face of his I do remember well;

Yet, when I saw it last, it was

besmear'd

in the smoke of war.

CURIO

Orsino, this is that Antonio

That took the Phoenix and her fraughtfrom Candy;

And this is he that did the Tigerboard,

When your young nephew Titus lost hisleg.

Here in the streets, desperate ofshame and state,

In private brabble did we apprehendhim.

VIOLA

He did me kindness, sir; drew on myside;

But in conclusion put strange speech

upon me;

I know not what't was but

51

distraction.

ORSINO

Notable pirate! Salt water thief!

What foolish boldness brought thee totheir mercies,

Whom thou, in terms so bloody and sodear,

Hast made thine enemies?

ANTONIO

Orsino, noble sir,

Antonio never yet was thief orpirate,

Though, I confess, on base and ground

enough,

Orsino's enemy. A witchcraft drew mehither:

That most ingrateful boy there byyour side,

From the rude sea's enrag'd and foamymouth

Did I redeem;

His life I gave him, for his sakeDid I expose myself, pure for hislove,

Into the danger of this adverse town;

Drew to defend him when he was beset:

Where being apprehended, his falsecunning,

Taught him to face me out of hisacquaintance, and denied me mine own

purse,

Which I had recommended to his use

Not half an hour before.

VIOLA

How can this be?

ORSINO

(Pointing to Viola) When came he tothis town?

ANTONIO

To-day, my lord; and for three monthsbefore,

Both day and night did we keep

company.

ORSINO

Fellow, thy words are madness;

Three months this youth hath tended

52

upon me.

Enter OLIVIA and MARIA

But more of that anon.

Here comes the countess; now heaven

walks on earth.

OLIVIA and MARIA bow and curtsy before ORSINO.

OLIVIA

[To ORSINO] What would my lord, butthat he may not have,

Wherein Olivia may seem serviceable?

[To VIOLA, sharply] Cesario, you donot keep promise with me.

VIOLA

Madam!

ORSINO

Gracious Olivia,-

OLIVIA

[To VIOLA] What do you say, Cesario?

VIOLA

[To OLIVIA] My lord would speak; my duty hushes

me.

OLIVIA

If it be aught to the old tune, mylord,

It is as fat and fulsome to mine ear

As howling after music.

ORSINO

[To OLIVIA] You uncivil lady, Whatshall I do?

OLIVIA

[Smiling unhelpfully] Even what itplease my lord.

ORSINO

Why should I not, had I the heart todo it,

Kill what I love?–a savage jealousyThat sometime savors nobly. But hearme this:

[Points at VIOLA] This your minion,

whom I know you love,

53

And whom, by heaven I swear, I tender

dearly,

Him will I tear out of that cruel eye,

Come, boy, with me; my thoughts are

ripe in mischief;

VIOLA

[To ORSINO] And I, most jocund, apt,

and willingly,

To do you rest, a thousand deathswould die.

OLIVIA

Where goes Cesario?

The following lines are spoken in a swift and steady rhythmicrhyme

VIOLA

[Passionately] After him I love,

More than I love these eyes, more thanmy life,

More, by all mores, than shall I lovewife!

OLIVIA

Ay me detested! Ay me beguil'd!

MARIA

[To camera] And how this male bondinghas gone simply wild!

VIOLA

Who does beguile you? Who does you wrong?

OLIVIA

Hast thou forgotten? Is it so long?

ORSINO

[To VIOLA] Come away!

OLIVIA

[To ORSINO] Whither, my lord?

[To VIOLA] Cesario—husband, stay!

ORSINO

Husband?

OLIVIA

Ay, husband! Can he that deny?

54

VIOLA

[Shaking her head.] No, my lord, not

I.

Rhyming couplets end

[OLIVIA pauses briefly to think how she can convince ORSINO thatshe has married “Cesario.”]

OLIVIA

My lord, by your leave.

My maid Maria was a witness to ourconjunction. She may tell what hathbut pass'dbetween us.

MONTAGE

+ INT. CHURCH. OLIVIA MARRYING SEBASTIAN. DAY

DURING THIS,

MARIA

(Officially) A contract of eternalbond of love,

Confirm'd by mutual joinder of yourhands,

(Aside) Between a man and woman; asthe Law

demands.

Attested by the holy close of lips,

Strengthen'd by interchangement of

your rings;

And all the ceremony of this compactNay but two hours.

MONTAGE ENDS

ORSINO turns to VIOLA

ORSINO

[To VIOLA:] O thou dissembling cub!

what wilt thou be

When time hath sow'd a grizzle on thycase?

Farewell, and take her; but direct

thy feetWhere thou and I henceforth may never

meet.

OLIVIA reaches out to VIOLA, as VIOLA looks helplessly uponORSINO.

55

OLIVIA

Yes!!

VIOLA

[As OLIVIA physically drags VIOLAaway] My lord, I do protest,-

Enter SIR ANDREW and FABIAN

SIR ANDREW

For the love of God, a surgeon! Sendone presently to Sir Toby!

OLIVIA

[To SIR ANDREW] Sir Andrew, what 'sthe matter?

SIR ANDREW

H’as broke my head across and has

given Sir Toby a bloody coxcomb too;

for the love of God, your help!

OLIVIA turns to MARIA

OLIVIA

Maria, tend to the knight.

MARIA examines SIR ANDREW casually, then turns to the camera.

MARIA

[Shouting] Who knew the old man hadso much blood in him?

FABIAN

[To MARIA] Art thou now Lady Macbeth?

OLIVIA

[To SIR ANDREW] Who has done this, SirAndrew?

SIR ANDREW

The count's gentleman, one Cesario;

we took him for a coward, but he 's

the very devil incarnate.

ORSINO

(Surprised and disbelieving) Mygentleman Cesario?

SIR ANDREW

'Od's lifelings, here he is! Youbroke my head for nothing.

56

VIOLA

Why do you speak to me? I never hurt

you.

You drew your sword upon me without

cause;

But I bespake you fair, and hurt you

not.

SIR ANDREW

If a bloody coxcomb be a hurt, youhave hurt me.

Enter SEBASTIAN.

SEBASTIAN

I am sorry, madam, I have hurt yourkinsman

But, had it been the brother of myblood,

I must have done no less with wit and

safety.

You throw a strange regard upon me,

and by thatI do perceive it hath offended you;

Pardon me, sweet one, even for the

vows

We made each other but so late ago.

C.U. OLIVIA IS TOO STUNNED TO SPEAK.

To ANTONIO) Antonio, O my dear

Antonio!

How have the hours rack'd and

tortur'd me,

Since I have lost thee!

ANTONIO

Sebastian are you?

SEBASTIAN

Fear'st thou that, Antonio?

ANTONIO

How have you made division ofyourself? Which is Sebastian?

ORSINO

One face, one voice, one habit, and

57

two persons,

A natural perspective, that is and is

not!

OLIVIA

Most wonderful!

SEBASTIAN turns to VIOLA.

SEBASTIAN

Do I stand there? I never had a

brother;

I had a sister, whom the waves

devour'd.

What kin are you to me? Whatcountryman?

What name? What parentage?

VIOLA

Of Messaline: Sebastian was myfather;

Such a Sebastian was my brother too,

So went he suited to his watery tomb.

If spirits can assume both form andsuit,

You come to fright us.

SEBASTIAN

A spirit I am indeed;

But am in that dimension grossly cladWhich from the womb I did

participate.

Were you a woman, as the rest goes

even,

I should my tears let fall upon your

cheek,

And say, 'Thrice-welcome, drown-ed

Viola!'

VIOLA

Sebastian, my brother!

VIOLA and SEBASTIAN embrace.

OLIVIA

[To MARIA] Is't possible?

MARIA

[To OLIVIA] If this were play'd upona stage now, I could condemn it as animprobable fiction.

58

VIOLA and SEBASTIAN stop embracing. SEBASTIAN turns to OLIVIA.

SEBASTIAN

[To OLIVIA:] So comes it, lady, youhave been mistook;

But nature to her bias drew in that.

ORSINO

[To OLIVIA] Be not amaz'd; rightnoble is his blood.

If this be so, as yet the glass seems

true,

I shall have share in this most happywreck.

[To VIOLA] Boy, thou hast said to mea thousand times

Thou never shouldst love woman like

to me.

VIOLA

(Passionately) And all those sayingswill I over-swear;

And all those swearings keep as truein my soul.

ORSINO

Your master quits you; and, for yourservice done him,

So much against the mettle of your

sex,

And since you call'd me master for solong,

Here is my hand; you shall from this

time be

Your master's mistress.

JUDITH leaps to her feet and interrupts.

JUDITH

Hold! I beseech thee, hold!

Camera pans to reveal crew. All but JUDITH and VIOLA begin towander off. ORSINO and SEBASTIAN go one way. OLIVIA, and MARIAsit. SIR ANDREW and SEBASTIAN go off camera and return carryingstools, camp chairs, barrels, and other temporary furniture.

After this furniture has been set down, SIR ANDREW, ORSINO, and

SEBASTIAN, begin reading their cell phones, playing cards,

smoking cigarettes and otherwise ignore the scene with JUDITH.

OLIVIA, and MARIA watch intently as JUDITH speaks to VIOLA.

VIOLA

Madam?

59

JUDITH

Viola, thou hast liv’d as man for

naughtBut twelve nights, yet thou know’stth’ liberties

Thou hast as man—great liberties

wouldst not

Be thine as maid or madam.

These liberties wouldst thou forever

forsake?

VIOLA

Aye, madam. For love, would I.

JUDITH

Mayhaps, what love is this?

JUDITH points briefly at ORSINO, who does not even acknowledgethat he is being discussed.

This bluff, full-blooded man:

ever-sway’d

By stormy passion, silentmelancholy,

A-brimm’d with crimson, blazing,

bitter hatred.

A titl’d bear who nourishes rash

violence

On battles past and his capricious

envy.

What man did not, but moments hence,

expressHis will to smother thee as swift and

sure

As Desdemona—as unjustly charg’d!

Still more, this green-ey’d auditor

waits pregnant forThy beauty to fall fleetly as ablossom

Dissever’d from a bush—how long willthou sate

His roving eye and ranging hand?

VIOLA

All this thou say is true.

Yet if love I seek than libertyWhat would then be thy plot for me?

What would thou I do?

JUDITH

[Motioning to OLIVIA] Go to she wholoves you.

60

She hath pledg’d thee her love, not

once but divers times.

She offers not just her hand, but her

heart, her arms and home.

VIOLA

Wouldst I, but she hath marri’d my

brother.

So, witty woman, where should I findanother? [Stares at JUDITH smugly.]

JUDITH

[Like an English judge] Call the LadyOlivia!

MARIA

[Like the clerk of an English court)

Call the Lady Olivia!

OLIVIA enters, gracious yet defiant. OLIVIA stands opposite toVIOLA.

OLIVIA

A lady hal’d into court! [OLIVIA

smiles at VIOLA] Still, nightingalesanswer daws.

OLIVIA glares at JUDITH. However, OLIVIA soon becomesfriendlier to JUDITH.

JUDITH

Lady Olivia, you were married thismorning.

OLIVIA

Aye.

JUDITH

To a young man.

OLIVIA

Aye.

JUDITH

[Pointing to VIOLA.] Whom you thoughtwas this young maid.

OLIVIA looks fondly at VIOLA.

61

OLIVIA

Aye, O Lady of Misrule.

JUDITH

Well, if there be any law inIllyria—your marriage may be

annull’d.

OLIVIA

Forsooth. Mayhaps I did marry herbrother—

Is he not an eligible replacement?

JUDITH

For your bridegroom—till death do youpart—you take a substitute? Nay, morea counterfeit to your love.

[Pointing to VIOLA] Hath he hertender heart, gen’rous nature,

Her poet’s tongue? Sooth, doth heshrink from combat,

Ill-fain to neither draw nor offer

blood—

In but two days, hath he not

entertain’d

Pernicious action with thy kin onboth?

[Pointing at SEBASTIAN.] La, there’syour husband—as your heart is try’d—

How doth he ‘tend to thee whom he has

vow’d?

To him—my lady, countess,

mistress—you are

A maiden, soon forever woman—and look

not

To rise in his esteem if you shouldgive himA dozen heirs! What earnest hath thou

in

His true love now?

OLIVIA

Now he is my husband!

JUDITH

Aye—and still of non-age.

The likeness of thy love lies now;

what will

Thy lord be like when he’s thy age,

mayhapsThat o’ thy dogg’d suitor?

62

OLIVIA

[Motioning towards the other men]

Forsooth—thou speaketh true.

JUDITH

Is it a wonder

You found nay vessel fairly fine for your love‘Til this fair youth did grace your door? Inchoice

Of husband, finical you are not—

Were all young maids as wise as you,

We’d have less men as those we do.

[OLIVIA points at VIOLA, and speaks forcefully]

OLIVIA

But she is not a man!

[Pathetically] Alas the day!—I found my true

love in a com’ly maid!

JUDITH

Aye, you did. You pledg’d to her “by

the roses of the spring, maid-hood,

honor, truth, and everything” thatyou love her so much that with not“wit nor reason” can your “passionhide.”

+ Flashback of scene with OLIVIA and VIOLA during JUDITH’squotation from Twelfth Night.

OLIVIA

(Mildly protesting) That was then—

JUDITH

(Fondly, yet officially) As you donow—is that not a fact?

OLIVIA

(Weakly and helplessly) Yes.

JUDITH walks towards VIOLA, and in turn touches each body partas she mentions it. VIOLA remains silent, but is clearly chokedwith emotion.

JUDITH

These well-turn’d arms; these supplehands, these firm thighs;

This courtier’s voice; this poet’ssong-fill’d heart;

This rosy cheek; these true-noble

features,

63

And dew-touch’d lips—

Lady Olivia—is this not your true

desire?

OLIVIA

(Passionately) Yes, yes—be it the

doom of my body and end of mysoul—yes!

(after a pause, desperately)

Mayhaps, for all my love to this maid,

she

Loves me as much as maid shows favor

to

Maiden friend—

(pleading) Viola, the Twelve Nightsare past—the masks and revels

dispell’d. As I love thee, do you loveme?

VIOLA

If I were a man—

JUDITH

(Sensing VIOLA’s evasion)

Viola—sister—

VIOLA

And I could not love my lord, but mustwive a woman—

OLIVIA

(Expectantly) Yes?

VIOLA

I should be glad—for the love of thee.

OLIVIA

(Exultant) Yes!

With as much excitement as when she met SEBASTIAN in Act IV,

OLIVIA grabs VIOLA and kisses her. VIOLA is startled, then

embraces OLIVIA passionately. Then realizing what she hasdone—separates from OLIVIA. Flushed with excitement, they stareat each other in amazement. Then OLIVIA reaches out for VIOLA’s

hand and VIOLA crosses JUDITH and joins OLIVIA.

OLIVIA

Fair, sage judge, a magician, art

you, as well?

Prithee, your worship, right thistragic wreck,

And let us pass into our major years

64

As true lovers of which save only

poetsDo dream.

JUDITH

No two more deserv’d such full-weight

joy. Pray you,

A moment’s recess to recommence anon.

MARIA

A magician? Ha! This is no StarChamber and thou art no magistrate!

MARIA strides haughtily toward OLIVIA, pushing VIOLA back.

JUDITH

[Angrily, to MARIA] I know what thouare—perchance what am I?

MARIA

Doth thou not know, by troth? Thou’rt

an invention—

A mechanism fashion’d by a makerOf little skill, inferior stuff—to

make

A toy of our master’s entertainment.

JUDITH

If an invention am I, by this shrewthou claim, thou art as much an

invention—and of her!

MARIA

The bother with invention!—

OLIVIA

Nay—thy peace, Maria.

MARIA

Your pardon, my lady.

I spoke but to notice thee that be she magician,

witch, or device—

She cannot change the course of your life.

She cannot undo what is done, nor do what would

not be done.

Her court is not o’ appeal and errors—were thereerrors—I’ll warrant it.

JUDITH

I confess, by my troth—I do not know

the metes and bound of my domain.

65

JUDITH points to the exit.

Still, I know that I can walk off that

way and leave all of you, if I choose.

MARIA

Marry—I predict thou soon shall! Am

I a prophet?

JUDITH

[Ignoring Maria’s jibe, JUDITH

speaks to VIOLA and OLIVIA] As I

can walk where I choose and say whatI will, ergo, my will I have—as

perchance, hath you. Hath you?

JUDITH looks at VIOLA and OLIVIA, challenging them to act. MARIAstands with arms akimbo; sure this moment will prove her right.

OLIVIA crosses to VIOLA and holds her hand. MARIA is justslightly less sure of herself. Then OLIVIA takes VIOLA’s otherhand, and they gaze at each other with fondness. OLIVIA and VIOLAthen embrace passionately; JUDITH looks almost smugly at MARIA.

Suddenly, VIOLA releases OLIVIA, and OLIVA returns to theopposite side of the spotlighted circle, walking backwardswhile staring at VIOLA. MARIA looks satisfied, but VIOLA turnsand soliloquies before MARIA can say a word.

MONTAGE

+ BURNING AT THE STAKE. NIGHT

+ OLIVIA LOOKING ON FROM HER WINDOW. NIGHT

DURING THIS,

VIOLA

[To camera] Is it the age? Was lovemore true and pure?

Doth axe and stake hold ’part our

hands and lips?

Devour’ng flame, this body wilt not

sate,

Appetent blade, this blood shalt notlong slake,

Majestic friends, pass by this abjectChristian,

Forbear in hosp’al grace and graciousgen’rous mercy,.

O noble sun, how oft shalt thou walk

‘crost

This globe, ’ere maiden love may walk

66

un-drap’d?

O solemn moon, dim out thy light and

turn

Thy face from this right maiden-wept’d.

MONTAGE ENDS

OLIVIA

[To VIOLA] Viola, my truest sister.

When come I in

The compass of thy eyes, avert them

not,

But gaze with fond remembrance ofthese brief days.

Live virtuously, guard thy soul, aswill I.

When thou sit in the church with thyhigh lord,

And I with mine, O pray with me thatwhen breath

Escapes us and we fear our deaths no

more,

That we will walk together in those

sunlit

Elysian fields where true love flowsas endless

As the rivers to the sea.

JUDITH

Is this what you will?

VIOLA

[To JUDITH] It is what we are—it’s

what we must be.

Yet mortal as I feel, I think Maria

Is right—that we are but poor

players—nay,

The stuff that players play. Ourlines are writ,

Our stages set; we come as bidden; act

as

Requir’d; leave when call’d. We livewhen books are

Open’d, and dispel when books areclos’d. We

Never die—yet the same,

For all the players give,

We never do truly live.

JUDITH

Art thou sure?

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VIOLA

[Pausing dramatically] Thou artmortal—thou hast died, and thou wiltl

die again.

Yet while thou art given breath, thylines are not writ, thou

May enter unbidden, leave as thouwill, act as thou desire.

The same goes for all today who seewhat here transpires.

JUDITH

If this is what indeed must be,

Then stay my hand from destiny.

Be fear or fate apart set ye,

One reasons good as any be.

[TO VIOLA] This is what you will,

Viola. In a trice, thy husband willdemand thee in skirts, you’ll beforever in his home, and never againfreely walk the town.

VIOLA

This, I know. God preserve thee.

JUDITH

As he has. Fare-well.

JUDITH exits, as VIOLA and OLIVIA and MARIA watch. MARIA reads

from an old hard-bound book in the posh, English, voice of

Virginia Woolf.

MARIA

I told you that Shakespeare had asister; she died young—she never

wrote a word. Now my belief is thatthis poet who never wrote a word still

lives. She lives in you and in me, andin many other women who are nothere—But she lives; great poets do

not die.

My belief is, if we have the habit offreedom and the courage to writeexactly what we think, if ourrelation is to the world of reality

and not only to the world of men andwomen, then the dead poet who wasShakespeare’s sister will put on thebody which she has so often laid down,

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to live and write her poetry. Imaintain that she would come if we

worked for her, and that so to work,

even in poverty and obscurity, is

worthwhile. Virginia Woolf, 1929.

MARIA closes her book. The camera pans to no longer revealanachronisms. The actors all rise from their seats, resettingthe folds of their clothes, other business. SIR ANDREW and

SEBASTIAN return some of the furniture off camera, and then

re-enter. ORSINO approaches VIOLA and they resume their priorpositions.

ORSINO

Give me thy hand; Let me see thee inthy woman's weeds.

JUDITH

From off-camera) I told thee he wouldsay that!

MARIA

[MARIA shouts at JUDITH in a modernworking-class British accent.] Oi!

Shut it!

VIOLA

I'll bring you to a captain in this

town,

Where lie my maiden weeds; by whosegentle helpI was preserv'd to serve thee.

OLIVIA

[Slyly glancing at VIOLA before shespeaks to ORSINO].

My lord, so please you, these things furtherthought on,

To think me as well a sister as a wife.

ORSINO

Madam, I embrace your offer.

When all is ready, and golden time

convents,

A solemn combination shall be made

Of our dear souls. Meantime, sweet

sister,

We will not part from hence. Cesario,

come;

For so you shall be, while you are a

man;

But, when in other habits you are

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seen,

Orsino's mistress and his fancy's

queen.

Music: “Mistress Mine” using original music, adapted lyricsfrom Twelfth Night, played and sung by FESTE, accompanied by

JUDITH

Exit all but FESTE and MARIA

FESTE

Mistress mine, where are you roaming?

Don’t you know your true love'scoming,

That can sing both high and low.

(FESTE and JUDITH singing)

That can sing both high and lowThat can sing both high and lowMistress mine, your true love’scomingThat can sing both high and low

+ FADE TO BLACK

TITLES: Initial final credits: Producer, Director, Cast

FESTE

Trip no further, pretty sweeting;

Journeys end in lovers meeting,

Every wise man's son doth know.

FESTE and JUDITH singing

Every wise man’s son doth knowEvery wise man’s son doth knowJourney end in lovers meetingEvery wise man’s son doth know

+ FADE IN to wedding dancing with OLIVIA, MARIA, VIOLA,

ORSINO, SEBASTIAN, FESTE, JUDITH, ANTONIO, CURIO,

OFFICER, OTHERS.

+ CUT TO OLIVIA AND ORSINO

OLIVIA

My Lord Orsino, a moment by your leave?

70

ORSINO

Sister Olivia, what, under moon and

sun shouldst vex thee?

OLIVIA

It alone concerns you. My matter hathno voice, sir, but to your own mostvouchsafed ear.

ORSINO

Give us this place alone; we’ll hear

this divinity.

[Laughter from guests. Exit all but OLIVIA and ORSINO. ORSINOand OLIVIA start to walk from the camera]

Now lady, what is your text?

+ FADE TO BLACK

FESTE

(Singing) In delay there lies noplenty,

JUDITH

(Sings) Then come and kiss me, sweetand twenty,

Youth's a stuff that will not endure.

FESTE & JUDITH

(Singing) Youth’s a stuff that will

not endure

Youth’s a stuff that will not endure

In delay there lies no plentyYouth’s a stuff that will not endure.

+ CUT TO VIOLA IN BED, NAKED, AS THOUGH ON HER WEDDING NIGHT.

OLIVIA APPROACHES FROM OFF-SCREEN AND RESTS UPON VIOLA. THEY

KISS.

+ CUT TO ORSINO, SPEAKING TO CAMERA, WITH MARIA AND ONE OF

OLIVIA’S MAIDS HALF-UNDRESSED, FONDLING HIS BODY. SEBASTIAN,

FESTE, JUDITH ARE PARTLY NAKED IN THE BACKGROUND

ORSINO

As a married man, I believe that

traditional marriage, in ourcontemporary society, is animportant and vital institution.

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+ CUT TO VIOLA AND OLIVIA IN BED TOGETHER

OLIVIA & VIOLA

(In unison) But who wants to live inan institution?

OLIVIA AND VIOLA squeal with glee as they embrace.

+ BLACKOUT

TITLE: “THE END”

TITLE: “Quotation from A Room of One’s Own (1929) by Virginia

Woolf. Used by the courtesy of The Society of Authors as the

Literary Representative of Virginia Woolf, London SW10.”

TITLE: “Sincere thanks to the Society of Authors for their

permission. Sincere thanks to Virginia Woolf for being a greatauthor.”

TITLE: “Material from the play Twelfth Night, or What You Will

by William Shakespeare (1564-1616) used without even asking forpermission.”

SFX: Cries, moans, whips, slaps, electric hum and spark

HANNAH MIYAMOTO

Please, no more! You can make the

movie!

TITLE: “Material from the play Twelve Nights with Viola & Olivia

used by duress and coercion upon Hannah Miyamoto, © 2005”

TITLE: “All Rights Reserved. All Wrongs Unpunished.”

TITLE: “Traditional Moral Values: Rejected and Destroyed.”

TITLE: “Great Classics of English Literature: Mocked and

Travestied.”

TITLE: “Spinning in his Grave: William Shakespeare, deceased”

TITLE: “Vestal Virgins: Deflowered.”

TITLE: “If the content of this film has disturbed you in any

way, call someone who cares.”

TITLE: “No Sacred Cows were Spared in the Making of this Film.”

MARIA

Of course, one man for one woman was

72

fine for my grandmother.

SEBASTIAN

But I don’t want to marry your

grandmother!

SIR TOBY

Neither would I, lad!

[MORE SCENES FROM THE PARTY]

FESTE

Dids’t I say this tale couldst not endin felicitations?

JUDITH

Good ‘i faith, sir. Upon what I

knoweth of my times, and that done bymy betters… By my troth, made we our

seasons merry.

FESTE

Speaketh thou true! For as the blindhermit of Prague, who never saw penand ink, wrote to the niece of

Gorbuduc…

JUDITH

Peace, sot! Let’s have a catch.

FESTE

What is love? Tis not hereafter;

Present mirth hath present laughter;

What's to come is still unsure.

FESTE & JUDITH

What’s to come is still unsure

What’s to come is still unsure

Present mirth hath present laughter;

What’s to come is still unsure.

TITLE: “Any similarity between any character in this film, andany person, living or dead, is ridiculous.”

TITLE: “The makers of this film contain nuts.”

TITLE: “To write to William Shakespeare (1564-1616), send a

self-addressed, stamped envelope to Holy Trinity Church,

Stratford-upon-Avon CV37 6BG, England. Please allow 3 to 5 weeksfor processing.”

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TITLE: “In the alternative, contact William Shakespeare overthe Internet via Twitter: @Shakespeare.”

TITLE: “Also like the Facebook page of William Shakespeare at:

https://www.facebook.com/WilliamShakespeareAuthor/”

TITLE: “Thank You for Watching this film. Please drive home asfast as you can.”

(ENDS)

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