THE STAGE 32 LOGLINES
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BLACK IN BEAUTY
By Sita Jagai
His parents are gone, he too is taken, but escapes, yet stranded without legal papers, except for his chess game and a homeless man by his side, a 12 year old leaps his Knights across the city to get back his family.
SYNOPSIS:
A 12-year-old chess prodigy from Long Island, New York, bravely takes the steps to escape with his siblings after they are separated from their parents and sold by their purported housekeepers, JOSË & CARLA to MACHO & RANDY. The abductors are part of an organized crime ring who confiscate undocumented immigrants’ homes, sell the children, and kill the parents after forcing them to sign and turnover their homes.
But their overstayed visa status steers them away from going to the police. Stranded underneath Brooklyn bridge underpass, Tomás leaves his siblings inside the pickup truck and hurries on the early rush-hour subway train bound toward his Long Island home, to get hold of his father's work address and his petitioned H-1B visa notice letter. However, the announcement of the next stop gets him pushed out of the car and onto Wall Street, where he seeks desperately through building numbers to spot his dad's newly occupied office.
BLACK IN BEAUTY
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1 person likes this
A bit of a mouthful, maybe try this:
A young prodigal chess player whose family falls victim to human traffickers befriends a homeless chess wizard with whom he bustles through the streets of New York in search of his parents.Rated this logline
Tim, Thank you so much! I do have a short developed logline that I've been using. But I would like to call attention to his ultimate choice of using chess for help rather than going for direct help, Such awesome FeedBack!!!
Tasha! Thank you so much.
1 person likes this
I love the very concept to this story of how anybody with big potential can still be ruined by the American experience; especially through the perspective of a young prodigy - like a darker 'An American Tail'. But the Logline is a little too-long and a little-too littered with issues. My take:
A chess prodigy whose family fall victim to human traffickers uses his chess skills to search for them in the bustling streets of New York with the help of a homeless man.
Dear Mason, thank you so much, how incredible your feedback! I re-posted a shorter version:
Abducted, a chess prodigy outwits his captors and winds up on the streets of New York next to a homeless man who helps as he bustles through chess games for answers to find his captive parents.
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Hello John, thank you I appreciate your feedback and am working to improve my logline because of your feedback!!!
Nathaniel, Thank you for your feedback. It is encouraging.
Hello Grzegorz,, I appreciate your feedback. Thank you.
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Thank you for your feedback, Khayelihle.
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