THE STAGE 32 LOGLINES
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THE GHATAK EXPEDITION
By Robert Sacchi
Astronauts return to Earth after a 500-year mission and find their reception nothing like what they expected.
SYNOPSIS:
The Ghatak Expedition – Synopsis
Five people in business suits watch from an observation gallery as mission control goes through the final countdown of a spaceship launch. The people include Doctors Raoul Lambert and Victoria Harries, a marries couple who show public displays of affection.
Inside the spaceship the mechanical facsimiles of the five people go through the countdown procedures. Doctors Lambert and Harries and the others show no emotion. The rocket takes off.
The expedition leader, Dr. Mehboob Ghatak, leads the others, Lambert, Harries, and Doctors Madeline Van Bay and Dmitri Popkov, into a reception room. The crowd in the reception room give the doctors cheers and applause. A reporter asks Ghatak some questions. The year is, 2057.
The spacecraft docks with a larger craft that goes off on an interstellar mission, the first one in history.
The facsimiles return from their mission in 2514. They don’t get any answer to their signals. They pick a spot and land.
A man in a vehicle meets them. They learn they were the only interstellar mission and space exploration got defunded soon after their mission started. They found primitive life on the star system, Gliese 163c. The specimens died out and the DNA samples decomposed. Only a handful of people on Earth have any interest in their mission.
People in the 26th century live a life of leisure. With computers exceeding human capabilities people feel no need to apply themselves to anything other than their frivolous whims. They learn Doctor Van Bay tried in court to get joint credit for the mission. Lambert and Harries had a messy divorce. The expedition members had unremarkable lives after the mission.
The facsimiles have developed emotions. They feel disappointed about humanities lack of interest in their mission. There is a sense of hope they may find a new purpose for themselves.
THE END
THE GHATAK EXPEDITION
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3 people like this
The sentence is lurching and vague yet convoluted despite being concise and insubstantial.
Is "the world" the Earth that we know or some other "world"?
Assuming it's Earth, it would be evocative if there were some specificity such as what type of scientists, because with "the appearance and memories of scientists" is vague.
And of course the world is different, there's nothing unusual or surprising about that if it's 500 years later.
And that phrase 500 years later implies "later than what" ? ... presumably when they departed from Earth?
And the whole 500 years trope seems like an arbitrary number as with many of these concepts, but listen I get you, I love sci-fi and I can appreciate that you have a concept here that you'd like to voice ... what is it?
"Fifty years after launching an exploratory mission to extract rocket fuel from the atmosphere of Saturn, a team of android seismologist / arbitrageurs disguised as humans exploit their DNA memories to adapt to an Earth transformed by earthquakes into a global cataclysm of molten metal." Maybe something more juicy like that?
Point is, we need enough detail to get enthusiastic about it and mostly to be convinced of your authority and enthusiasm for the concept.
Tell us a story in the logline that has some meat to it?
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3 people like this
Thank you. That's a lot for me to think about.
2 people like this
Hi, Robert! Here are the usual components you find in a logline: 1) Protagonist 2) goal 3) Inciting incident 4) Conflict (or Antagonist). I suggest you read this page. It helped me a lot. https://www.studiobinder.com/blog/what-is-a-logline/
1 person likes this
Thank you very much.
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