I'm confused. coming of age for a honcho? I would expect a honcho to be older. the "fast life" in Melbourne? Not being from Australia I don't know much about Melbourne - the way it's written with "suburbs of" makes me think this is a comedy - if so, then maybe italics or quotes for fast lane?

Everyone is one decision from changing their life - what specifically are his two choices? Change his life how? "The ones" is too general like his best friends? his family? everyone? how is the decision going to take him from petty crime to the big time and is that a good thing?

I'm reading this translated in my mind "A young boy at the top of his petty crime life is faced with a decision that could bring him to the big time, but it could also kill everyone he loves in this coming of age (genre)." Hope that helps!