SYNOPSIS:

At the long, polished, board room table of Heddge Hogge Inc. , three Hedge Fund Crooks, Beauregard “Bo” Bennington III, 55, balding, cigar-faced, Paul Ponzee, 47, weasel-eyed, pompous, and Benson Basura, 51, cold, calculating, as round as he is tall, plot against our reluctant hero, Franklin Delano Jones, 35, whom they believe is an easily manipulated mail room clerk. They need a fall guy as it seems their Ponzee scheme is about to come crashing down and around their investors ears - but more importantly down around the sensitive ears of some mob guys who won’t take it so kindly. Franklin is an aspiring Crossword Champion who has only two aspirations in life. One is to break the two minute barrier in solving the “Kansas City Puzzler” Crossword Puzzle, win the prize money and the heart of Charmonique, “Don’t call me Charmin” Clawson, whom he loves - although she is indifferent to him. Charmonique looks upon Franklin as a gentle loser. She is hard pressed financially and believes the only way make a better life for herself and her eleven year old son Sammy, is to get involved with Dirty Dan Donegan, a flashy, loaded, but evil loan shark. Bo offers Franklin the position of Chief financial Officer, a position that comes with a plush office, the executive washroom key and a whole lot of responsibility for signing off, CYA (cover your ass), financial transactions that Bo believes are too complicated for Franklin to understand. At first, Franklin declines, but Bo sets Charmonique up for stealing and to save her, Franklin finally agrees to take the job. Once Franklin takes the job, he begins to morph into the truly intelligent person he is and undergoes a Pygmalion transformation (Think Cleavon Little in Armani). He hopes this transformation will win him the love of Charmonique. He is crushed when Charmonique agrees to marry Dirty Dan. Meanwhile the Feds are closing in on Heddge Hogges’ scheme and are targeting Franklin who’s signature is on all the financial transactions. Franklin is facing jail time while Bo, Benson, and Paul are on a Yacht in Barbados with a bevy of bimbos. They think they are home free. Franklin has a big surprise waiting for everyone that might just possibly keep him out jail and win him the heart of the love of his life. 108 pages.