THE STAGE 32 LOGLINES
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DEARLY BELOVED
By Josiah Bhola Hillaire
SYNOPSIS:
A man (Adrian Franklin) who wants to find out who his late mother really is. Along the way, he meets his father and everything he once knew about his mother is put to the test. He learns some new information about his mother as he tries to balance fighting for the truth and fighting to not mess up his relationship with his family. His relationship with his family is changed by a deep dark secret that’s been haunting him for years. Will the truth cost him his family and the bond they once had? Will the truth change his perspective of how he views his mother?
DEARLY BELOVED
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That's not really a Logline, more of a summary.
I know, I’ll change it.
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Hi, Josiah Bhola Hillaire. How about: "A man tries to find out who his late mother really was, despite knowing that his findings might both change his perspective of her and ruin his relationship with his family."
This logline has the main character's goal (find out who his late mother really was) and stakes (his findings might both change his perspective of her and ruin his relationship with his family).
Is there a family member who tries to stop the main character from reaching his goal? That will be his antagonist. Maybe add the antagonist in the logline (or whoever the antagonist is).
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The antagonist is his sister, Jackie Franklin.
Josiah Bhola Hillaire, does his sister try to stop him from reaching his goal?
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No Maurice Vaughan .
Ok. What you have for the logline is a summary.
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Hey, Josiah Bhola Hillaire. Here’s a logline template that might help you with your logline:
“After ______ (the inciting incident/the event that sets the plot in motion), a _______ (an adjective and the protagonist's position/role) tries to _______ (goal of story) so/in order to ________ (stakes).”
Loglines are one or two sentences (a one-sentence logline sounds better and it takes less time for a producer, director, etc. to read it). You can add the antagonist in the logline.
The inciting incident can also be at the end of the logline: “A _______ (an adjective and the protagonist's position/role) tries to _______ (goal of story) so/in order to ________ (stakes) after ______ (the inciting incident/the event that sets the plot in motion).”
Avoid using names in a logline (unless it's a Biopic or a famous story -- like a fairy tale). Use an adjective and the protagonist's position/role instead of a name.
Avoid using “must” in loglines because “must” sounds like the protagonist is forced to do whatever the goal of the story is (instead of the protagonist doing it willingly), and “must” doesn’t sound active. Audrey Knox (a TV literary manager) also said this during a logline review webinar on Stage 32 (https://www.stage32.com/webinars/The-Write-Now-Challenge-The-Logline-Rev...). Instead of using “must,” use “attempts to,” “fights to,” “struggles to,” “strives to,” “sets out to,” “fights,” “battles,” “engages in,” “participates,” “competes,” etc.
Example #1:
“After a group of dog criminals arrives in a small town, an impulsive dog sheriff defends a dog treat factory so they won’t steal food that’s meant for hungry dog families.”
Example #2:
“A dysfunctional couple works together to survive against bears after they crash on an abandoned road miles from help.”
NOTE: Not all stories will follow this logline template. Biopics, documentaries, and Experimental scripts might not follow this template. The pilot logline and episode loglines for a TV show might not follow this template, but the series logline could.
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Thank you
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Lots of scripts involve dealing with a dark secret from the past. What is the differentiator that sets this one apart?
You're welcome, Josiah Bhola Hillaire.
are you getting help with format yet?