THE STAGE 32 LOGLINES
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KACEE RESCUES AMERICA!
By Amazing Kacee
An intuitive grad student, who healed herself of a dozen incurable diseases, embarks on a cross-country journey of self-discovery with her service dog to help others by using her unconventional healing methods!
I graciously thank Christopher Lockhart for helping me phrase my logline!!
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2 people like this
Sounds like a great series, Amazing Kacee! I would watch this!
One suggestion: The first part of the logline is long and might make readers winded ("A U.S. Navy veteran trained to rescue others uses her training to survive terminal cancer and cure herself of several incurable diseases embarks on a cross-country adventure with her emotional support dog to rescue struggling large animal rescuers by instilling love"). I think that part needs commas or a period.
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Maurice Vaughan thanks Maurice - I put the logline into my Grammarly and nothing came up regarding periods or commas. Thanks for your suggestion. I'll rework it!
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You're welcome, Amazing Kacee. After reading the logline again, I came up with this: "A U.S. Navy veteran—who trained to rescue others—uses her training to survive terminal cancer and embarks on a cross-country adventure with her emotional support dog to rescue struggling, large-animal rescuers by instilling love, hope, and worthiness in honor of her departed, animal-loving parents."
I'm far from being Grammarly :), but I basically just:
#1) Added em dashes around "who trained to rescue others" (which I think will help readers not get winded).
#2) Changed "large animal" to "large-animal."
#3) Added a comma between "struggling" and "large-animal" (which I think will help readers not get winded).
#4) Added a comma between "departed" and "animal-loving parents."
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