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GHETTOCYRANO
By Marcia McNair

GENRE: Comedy
LOGLINE:


A teen rapper and his ghostwriter pal successfully dodge rival rappers, ex-girlfriends and a vindictive guidance counselor until disgruntled investors say pay up or die.

SYNOPSIS:

Divided they fail, but united, two homeboys stand a chance at rap superstardom as Ghettocyrano: a marketing match made in hell dependent upon a system they call The Feed: Handsome Chris performs as Ghettocyrano by wearing an ear bud so his ugly ghostwriter/manager/best friend Cy can feed him the lyrics. Like in any buddy flick, the contrast in their personalities leads to conflict and comedy.

It’s the first day of school senior year 1998 at Malice Park High School, Queens. On the school steps, Chris performs from his first mixtape The Night of the Living Dead Presidents set to premiere in the lunchroom because he doesn’t have the money for a launch party. He owes disgruntled investors and numerous ex-girlfriends. Homeboys in brightly colored track suits and round the way girls in crop tops and baggy jeans sing the hook until the self-important security guard Lester stops the show.

Christian and Cy intend to skip class to rehearse until they see the beautiful new English teacher, Roxanne. Roxanne compassionately handles the rowdy class, and Cy develops a crush on her. He changes his dirty lyrics to impress her, Chris flubs the song, and the premiere ends in a food fight.

To soothe his wounded pride, Chris spends the night clubbing with wealthy admirer Forevah Heather. He wakes the next morning flat on his back in his front yard with his gun missing. He rushes to school to get Cy’s help only to be summoned to the office of guidance counselor Mrs. Thorne. She holds a grudge against Chris and Cy for the diss track about her performed at a school assembly. Roxanne vouched that they did not start the food fight, so Mrs. Thorne can’t expel them, but she comes up with something much worse: She will stop them from graduating by accidentally misplacing their records.

Chris and Cy spend the little money they have left on making the Thick Girls video, but it ends in disaster as the girls compete for face time and the onlookers take over as well. A break dancing little girl steals the show, and Chris topples out of the rented vehicle trying to steal it back. The damaged car officially puts them in the red.

All seems lost until Roxanne organizes Malice Park Idol with a five-thousand-dollar prize. Winning will save Chris’ reputation and more importantly—his life. Feminist Roxanne mentors Chris unaware the rhyme book is Cy’s. Cy emails her his lyrics. The plan is to gain Roxanne's sympathy so she will intercede with Mrs. Thorne. Chris could care less because he believes the Y2K hoax and begins to party like it's 1999, because it is.

Though Chris periodically spots someone in a Skeleton Mask following him, he keeps it gangsta. He fights female rapper Triple B at rehearsal, hooks up with his minister’s wife Delilah Lamb, and starts an affair with the paraplegic sister of ex-girlfriend Jodi. Pat, his official girlfriend, invites him to perform at her birthday party. At the party, Chis sleeps with Pat’s aunt and Lester’s girlfriend Goldeen, but when Pat catches him, he claims it wasn’t him.

At the final dress rehearsal, Chris wows everyone with a song about the killing of unarmed Black men. He's sure to win. However, Mrs. Thorne demands the prize money in exchange for graduation. Next, Chris finds out Goldeen is pregnant. He goes on a bender, starts hallucinating, and misses the show. Fed up, Cy ends their partnership and friendship. Granmere (grandmother) and Mamere (mother) put Chris in rehab.

In rehab, Roxanne's support inspires him both to change his ways and to write his own bars. When Chris gets out, on Roxanne’s suggestion, he decides to peace with his enemies and frenemies. He sells all his possessions to pay them back, but learning Cy's family is about to be evicted, he gives him the money instead. Cy is touched by Chris’ generosity, and they resurrect Ghettocyrano. Chris accompanies Cy to meet an online girl in person for once. The girl turns out to be Mrs. Thorne, and they use this discovery to secure their graduation.

Roxanne catches onto them after graduation when she runs into Mamere and Granmere. Chris forces Cy to meet with them both to fess up. As she drops them off at home, Skeleton Mask appears and shoots Chris. Chris’ deceased father Cesaire appears as a guide to the beyond, but this just makes Chris more resistant to accepting his fate until Cesaire baits him with some answers. Chris wonders who shot him: Was it a rival rapper? An angry investor? A scorned ex-lover? A lover of a scorned ex- lover? A drug dealer? Or worse yet—was it Cy? And if Tupac is really dead, how come is he still making movies? He knows there's only one way to find out.

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