Running a New York City food cart with her mother, an underprivileged Salvadoran high school girl endeavors to get into college and forge her own path while struggling to keep her family above water.
A great start, Allison. Getting strong hints as to what kind of story this is going to be. To improve, it would be great to include a little more on the opposition to her dream. This logline is the start of a story. It almost needs a "but..." at the end of the above to convey some kind of conflict. And then, ideally, if you can suggest something of the stakes, this would be perfect.
But a promising logline. If you'd like any help with creating loglines, by all means message me anytime.
This is a long logline. Closer to a mini synopsis. I would try to break the story down to the minimal thematic. Maybe something like; "An American-Salvadoran dreams of college as she struggles to help her underprivileged family." :)
A great start, Allison. Getting strong hints as to what kind of story this is going to be. To improve, it would be great to include a little more on the opposition to her dream. This logline is the start of a story. It almost needs a "but..." at the end of the above to convey some kind of conflict. And then, ideally, if you can suggest something of the stakes, this would be perfect.
But a promising logline. If you'd like any help with creating loglines, by all means message me anytime.
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This is a long logline. Closer to a mini synopsis. I would try to break the story down to the minimal thematic. Maybe something like; "An American-Salvadoran dreams of college as she struggles to help her underprivileged family." :)
Rated this logline
1 person likes this
Dustin Quinteros thank you for taking the time to look at it!!! I really appreciate the feedback. I love the suggestion as well.
Tim Bragg thank you, thank you for the suggestion and the feedback.