A weak, pitiful man must struggle to reinvent his sex wheel after a group of cavemen are discovered and invited to move into the community and threaten to destroy his life.

SYNOPSIS:

Winner BEST COMEDY and JURY AWARD at Nova Fest. Winner BEST COMEDY at Atlanta Cinefest. Winner Best Unproduced Script at Fusion International Film Festival Brussels. Winner Best Comedy screenplay at the Miami International Cinefest. Official Selection in the Toronto International Cinefest. Honorable mention at Big Bear Film Summit

Ned Bottom is an intellectual loser with no spine. Nobody respects him: not his family, his colleagues, nor his friends. He can’t make a decision without consulting his large pile of self-help books.

Ned and his family live in the small mountain town of Evansdale. His children, Karen and Tommy, are out of control, and his wife, Edna, nags him constantly. Ned goes along with the game, a victim of his own unconditional kindness. “There’s too much of this going from the gut stuff!” he professes. Ned is an architect who works contractually for a small-town housing developer. They have just finished building a tract of homes that no one will buy. The man in charge of selling the homes is Ned’s best friend and partner, Burton, a loud-mouth know-it-all who blames these failures on Ned. “You’ve got to use your brains and your balls, Ned!”

One night while riding his bike far up in the mountains, Ned’s son Tommy discovers a group of cavemen who seem to have never been discovered by civilization. He immediately runs home to tell his father, who takes Burton up to the site to investigate. They soon realize they have stumbled upon the solution to their problem: if they can get the cavemen live in the homes and convert the savages into working, functioning citizens, they will fill their vacancies and also gain some press and notoriety for themselves. They sell the entire town of Evansdale on the subject, and soon everyone is chomping at the bit with visions of money and fame.

Things go well, but only briefly. Burton is the first to fall victim to these wild creatures when his wife Luanne begins a torrid affair with one of the primitive creatures, Linc. Ned tells Burton that he has to defend his manhood by “facing his fears” and encourages Burton to fight the beast. Burton attempts to fight Linc, but is no match for the peaceful but immensely powerful Neanderthal. Burton, distraught, turns to alcohol.

Meanwhile, Ned and Edna discover that their daughter has become romantically involved with another of the cave-dwellers, Mopey. Edna blames Ned for the crisis, so Ned parries by attempting to make friends with the beasts by rationalizing with them around a bonfire. This event ends in misery for Ned, as they care little for self-help therapy. Left with no other choice, Ned makes a plea to the town to “throw those dirty beasts out!” but town refuses, having taken a liking to the cavemen. Edna, not to take this lying down, decides to teach the third caveman, Trog, about the customs of civilized people, in hopes that she can win her daughter back from the clutches of “those monsters!” Meanwhile, Ned convinces Burton that if he wants his wife back, they need to double their efforts to sell the properties to normal people. Burton reluctantly agrees to help, but family after family runs away when they spot their new neighbors: cavemen!

Through nothing but sheer determination, Ned and Burton finally begin to sell homes. The race is on, though, as more and more cavemen are moving up from the caves and squatting in the empty homes. Still, the duo are sure their luck is changing until Edna drops the bomb on Ned: she has fallen in love with Trog. Edna exclaims, “he makes me feel passion.” Ned, finally seething with anger, confronts Trog and attempts to punch him, but ends up flat on the ground in utter defeat.

Ned completely gives in to his depression until his son, Tommy, the only other family member left in the household, tells his father why he never wins. Ned finally hears the truth about himself and begins to banish rationality by building muscle and acting on impulse to his gut feelings. He burns all his self- help books and, in a fit of self-discovery, heads out to take on Trog, the town, and the world, proving once and for all he’s a man to be reckoned with. Ned must man up or stay a pathetic weakling!