THE STAGE 32 LOGLINES
Post your loglines. Get and give feedback.
CHOSEN - BATTLE OF MINDS BY SUSAN HARRIS
By Susan Harris
When a woman scorned comes for you, your instinct is to fight but she forgot that this woman was immortal and she was not.
SYNOPSIS:
SYNOPSIS:
Olivia knew one thing that being chosen was a blessing and a curse. After all that she had been through she felt like she was still fighting. She only loved one man, but encouraged another, she knew it was time to put things right.
Lucian refuses to give up wanting Olivia, but his temper always got the better of him, now the woman he loved had gone. What more could he do to win her back.
Selene saw Olivia as a threat, she did not belong and was threatening to take away what she believed was rightfully hers. She was immortal, the gods do not punish their own, or do they?
Ethan only felt alive when Olivia was around, but his lack of judgement nearly cost her, her life.
When Lucian's parents killer's wanted to wipe-out his bloodline he vowed they would pay, but when the truth came out about what his parents did he considered forgiveness, until they took Olivia.
Register / Log In
I like the beginning, but then it gets Hunger Games in the middle, and then the ending doesn't match any of it. Why would she NOT expect there to be other people at a competition? Or are you saying she wasn't the only one betrayed? Start with a longer line and cut it down, because right now it's missing clarity.
Thank you Noel, glad of the feed back, yes working on mastering my logline as never done one until joining stage32 ha ha, what I was trying to say was that until she entered this realm she hadn't realise others had also been chosen, will keep working on it.
Rated this logline