GENRE: Thriller, Drama
LOGLINE:
A diverse group of survivors must ban together, coming face-to-face with the results of a monstrous plague while uncovering the mystery and truth involving a secret government called, The Project.
Hi, Gavin Midani. Unique concept. It sounds like an entertaining movie.
I think the logline needs some work.
"...coming face-to-face with the results of a monstrous plague while uncovering the mystery and truth involving a secret government called, The Project" feels like a strange order.
I would remove the coma before "The Project."
Maybe rewrite the logline as: "During a monstrous plague, a diverse group of survivors must ban together to stay alive, while uncovering the mystery and truth involving a secret government called The Project."
Hey Maurice! Thanks for the feedback and suggestion you had to make my logline stronger. Punctuation has NEVER been a strong skill of mine, and as you can see, I sometimes struggle with putting my thoughts and vision for a story I'm creating into 2 sentences or less! Ahh brain overload! I absolutly agree a love your re-write of my logline. By simply switching the order off the first two lines and taking out a few unecessary words, the logline feels tighter and smoother to me for sure! So again, thanks for your input and willingness to help out a newbie like myself
Rated this logline
Rated this logline
Rated this logline
Hi, Gavin Midani. Unique concept. It sounds like an entertaining movie.
I think the logline needs some work.
"...coming face-to-face with the results of a monstrous plague while uncovering the mystery and truth involving a secret government called, The Project" feels like a strange order.
I would remove the coma before "The Project."
Maybe rewrite the logline as: "During a monstrous plague, a diverse group of survivors must ban together to stay alive, while uncovering the mystery and truth involving a secret government called The Project."
Hey Maurice! Thanks for the feedback and suggestion you had to make my logline stronger. Punctuation has NEVER been a strong skill of mine, and as you can see, I sometimes struggle with putting my thoughts and vision for a story I'm creating into 2 sentences or less! Ahh brain overload! I absolutly agree a love your re-write of my logline. By simply switching the order off the first two lines and taking out a few unecessary words, the logline feels tighter and smoother to me for sure! So again, thanks for your input and willingness to help out a newbie like myself