What's missing to gain that 5th stare? Or is it too much? :)

It's too much,

"floundering artist in limbo between graduating high school and adulthood. Shae is developing a Stockholm curiosity for confronting systemic domestic violence "

this would be better explored in more detail in the synopsis, I can tell that it's a very personal part of the story for you, and I am not saying it's not important and what we need to know about what is driving her.

log lines need to have flow and be dramatic. If i was your producer and you sent me this I would of asked you to consider something more like this, and told you to rework it, and make it your own.

"A dramatic series set in the summer of 1998, that follows a small town tomboy named Shea as she struggles with adulthood. drawn to the city's artistic subculture a place filled with vivid color and culture, where she finds herself pulled into the darker side of humanity by her magnetic encounters with beautiful and dangerous men that could lead to her death."

please keep me in the loop, you got talent and I can't wait to see where it takes you.