THE STAGE 32 LOGLINES
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WICKED WEAVE
By Lena Claybon
When unsuspecting reporter, Diana Drummond, goes to her favorite salon to get a weave, little does she know the hair she's getting once belonged to another young woman, Sheletta Williams, who has recently been killed by her ex-boyfriend. Sheletta returns and possesses Diana through her hair leading her to carry out revenge on her ex-boyfriend!
SYNOPSIS:
In South Central LA, a black-market business is going on. Hair is being cut off the heads of the deceased in a local funeral home and being sold to hair salons for profit. Diana Drummond has no idea how her life is about to be turned upside down when she goes to her favorite salon to get a weave put in. Little does she know the hair that she's getting has just been sent to the salon by a local "distributor" and once belonged to Sheletta Williams, who has recently met an untimely demise at the hands of her ex-boyfriend. A pissed-off Sheletta returns and possesses Diana through her hair leading her to carry out revenge on her ex-boyfriend!
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Unique angle, Lena Claybon (Sheletta returns and possesses Diana through her hair leading her to carry out revenge on her ex-boyfriend). I can picture scenes right now.
I think the logline has too many details in it.
For a logline, you want something like: "After ______ (something happens/the inciting incident), a _______ (the protagonist with an adjective) tries to _______ (goal of story) so ________ (stakes)."
Loglines are one or two sentences. You can add the antagonist in the logline. The inciting incident can also be at the end of the logline.
Example #1:
"After a group of dog criminals arrives in a small town, an impulsive dog sheriff defends a dog treat factory so they won't steal food that's meant for hungry dog families."
Example #2:
"A dysfunctional couple works together to survive against bears after they crash on an abandoned road miles from help."