THE STAGE 32 LOGLINES

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DON'T GO THERE, GIRLFRIEND
By Dave Eisenstark

GENRE: Comedy, Drama, Horror, Independent, Thriller
LOGLINE:
When Linda--a young, pregnant schoolteacher--accidentally kills the father of her unborn child, she finds a way to keep him around. 1 location, 3 characters--as low-budget as it gets.

SYNOPSIS:

From a produced writer (9 features) and published author (2 novels). Linda and Brad (20s) aren't the perfect couple, but they're doing okay. They share an apartment in the city, have terrific sex, and despite fundamental differences, seem to get along. But Linda wants a baby, and Brad doesn't. What Brad doesn't know is that Linda is already pregnant. Linda breaks the news to her best friend, Miralee (20s), with whom Linda communicates mostly via Skype. Suddenly, Brad bursts in to tell Linda he wants to get married and have a baby. Linda, cooking dinner at the time, whirls in surprise and accidently clonks Brad on the head with a frying pan. Brad ricochets off a sharp cabinet door, and the floor...where he dies. Something snaps in Linda, and instead of calling someone, she keeps Brad around. Now they're the perfect couple—at least in Linda's troubled mind—with Brad cooperating with Linda's girlish activities. The terrific sex is gone, however. In a fit of rage, Linda grinds up Brad's genitals in a pasta-maker. And to make matters worse, Miralee shows up and discovers Dead Brad. But to Linda's surprise, Miralee doesn't call the cops either. Instead, using her special powers, Miralee brings Brad back to life. Brad's one of the "undead," Miralee explains, and can't really be killed. Brad's now the child Linda always wanted, needing attention twenty-four hours a day. Unfortunately, Linda has to go back to work, and it's Miralee who gives Brad that attention. As Brad moves from infant to toddler to troubled teen, and Miralee spends more and more time with him, Linda finds herself losing the control she once had with Dead Brad. When Linda comes home early from work to find Brad in bed with another woman, she snaps (again), killing them both, then shooting herself. Miralee arrives shortly after to bring Brad and Linda back to life. Linda was one of the "undead" too, it turns out, as is Miralee. After the baby is born, when Brad is mostly recovered, Brad suddenly kills Linda, for real this time. He never forgave her for mutilating his genitals, and he knows Miralee would make a stronger mother for his child. He also knows Miralee was behind Linda discovering his unfaithfulness to begin with. He understands and respects that Miralee got exactly what she schemed to get all along: Brad...and the baby.

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