Currently pilot being prepared for weekly TV sitcom---with real actors, not animated. An unusually funny plot. One Hollywood producer, unfortunetly low budget, said it was the funniest football comedy ever written. Enormous potential for animation or with real actors---can readily outdo "The Water Boy", "The Replacements", etc.

SYNOPSIS:

Sushi Tushi by Richard Castellane Copyright, All Rights Reserved

Pitch What do you do when you're a pro-football franchise – the“Portland (Maine) Lobsters’, and have lost sixteen games in a row? The reason? Hard to believe at first since you’ve got the finest quarterback in the league, Caleb O’Rourke, Heisman winner from Princeton. The problem? The line defending O’Rourke consists of the most inept, bungling idiots ever to play football. In desperation maybe what you do is buy up a Japanese Sumo school with all of its gargantuan 500 pound Sumos and make them into linemen protecting O’Rourke. Easier said than done however since Hiroyasu, the greatest of the Sumos, requires, (if he and the other Sumos will agree to play for the Lobsters) that his two 300 lb.+ girlfriends, Fumiko and Yoko, accompany him to the U.S. and be incorporated into the Lobsters’ gorgeous cheerleading squad – “The Lobsterettes.” Hiroyasu’s girlfriends have whiskered chins, beehive hairdos, massive legs and thighs, and physiques that would have put Swartzenegger (in his prime) to shame. They fling their arms and legs about like bludgeons causing untold physical and mental grief to the slim, beautiful “Lobsterettes.”

What do you do when your Sumo linemen, upon being introduced to the game of Pro football, are at a complete loss as to what to do? Maybe you psyche them to fever pitch ferocity by causing them to believe that opposing linemen have lustful intentions upon the Sumos’ mothers. What do you do when your back-up quarterback (58 year-old body-building fanatic) Gash Bronick passes so inaccurately and with such force that he demolishes hot dog stands and stadium piers with his errant passes? Well, maybe, at the critical moment you put in the way of an errant Bronick pass an unfortunate pigeon that collides with the pass, causing the ball to drop into the arms of an astonished Lobsters’ receiver – for a touchdown. What do you do if you’re Hiroyasu, king of Sumos, and you think quarterback O’Rourke is messing around with your 300 lb.+ Japanese girlfriends – which would be the last thing O’Rourke or any male with even the slightest eyesight would ever want to do. Maybe if you’re Hiroyasu you do a somersault at the start of the big game, blot out the sun with your massive body, and land flat on the innocent O’Rourke, rendering the poor guy into a walking splint and crutch speciman. What do you do on the very last play of the game, when all seems lost? Maybe what you do, if you’re a Sumo lineman, is to strip off your stupid football uniform, and, clad only in your loincloth, go for the win – the Sumo way, - the”Sushi-Tushi” way. Comments by top film critic, and major Producer/Director “All the elements..to become a cult hit..superb sense of (comic) irony...creative funny situations to logically move the plot…good, natural humor…good comedy with the Sumo wrestler being interviewed by the reporter…..cultural feel of the introduction to the Sumos and the art of the sport provides very good".

Professional Comments on the “Sushi Tushi” script:

Comments by Marty Meltz major film critic for Portland Press Herald and Maine Sunday Telegram "...will become a cult hit." "...Superb sense of (comic) irony and creative situations to logically move the plot..." "Nice job with the translation sequences, good natural humor." "...Good comedy also with the Sumo wrestler, in the dream sequence, being interviewed by the reporter." "...General feel of the intro to Sumos and the art of the sport provides very good humor.."

Comments by Cinematographer Rob Draper (Cinematographer for "Halloween 5", "Spitfire Grill") “Upon my many, many years as a cinematographer in the film industry, I have never come across a funnier script than that of Sushi Tushi. The script totally departs from the common place. Nowhere has anyone undertaken, before Richard Castellane, a plot so filled with humor relative to a sport. When I first read Sushi Tushi, it was impossible to stop laughing. Picture a group of bungling linemen including a haute cuisine cook who gets diarrhea at game time, another lineman who despite being an ivy league grad, can’t count, so he misses the number signals called out by his quarterback, another amorous lineman who can only look at the cheerleaders while the ball is being hiked, etc... Also picture the Japanese sidekick to the coach, who is given to reciting totally off the wall proverbs that no one understands including himself, two attack chihuahuas who enjoy peeing on the heads of linemen, etc... Sushi Tushi presents a total departure from many of the current crop of motion pictures in that it will rely heavily on strong visuals, and strict adherence to a distinctive visual style. The story line is so funny, exceptionally funny, and with huge aesthetic and commercial potential.”

Kimberly Pettit, formerly CEO/President of Momentum Entertainment, Inc