From my alter-ego Ray D Shosay: Once in awhile, something so jawdroppingly extraordinary happens to underscore the fact that anyone can consider themselves a movie producer notwithstanding the fact that they have never produced anything or gone through the motions of learning the trade, craft or black magic that it is. The fact of being in the proximity of those who have taken action in these areas is sufficient for these folks to present themselves as players in the game knowing not the first thing about movie business protocol and convention or, often as not, the basic etiquette of social intercourse to further aggravate the situation. To learn the art of producing, one must read copiously selecting from a menu of subjects including marketing, literature, art, mathematics (it helps to know that one plus one equals two in understanding when and how to break that rule), horse racing, Las Vegas odds-making and whatever else you can get a grasp of as a practical application. It really does help, however, to actually produce a movie for nothing else lets you know what it is that you don't know about the subject than doing the deed. As an aid to those who don't know what they are doing and so that they can carry on their pose a little longer, I offer a few rules that may be of assistance. 1) The old business adage that if you look around the room and don't see a sucker you are "it" goes double in Hollywood. The top producers in the movie business didn't get where they are by giving a sucker an even break. 2) W.C. Fields' motto, "Never give a sucker an even break and never wise up a chump" should be repeated here for cautionary emphasis. 3) When you are the one asking for something, it is you who pays for the lunch. 4) When it is you pitching a project to someone who can fund it, it is you who pays for the lunch. 5) When anyone who has actually made a movie agrees to meet you for lunch, it is you who pays for the lunch. 6) When one of the movie industry "grown-ups" pays for your lunch it can mean one of two things: He/she likes the project you pitched or he/she does not like the project you pitched. In the latter instance, paying for lunch means he/she has absolved himself/herself of any further obligation to take your phone calls or answer your emails. 7) When trying to raise money for a project, learn the difference between buying a property that someone actually owns and having the opportunity to cash someone out of their option as it is about to expire (See 1 & 2 above). 8) Know that posing as a movie producer when you have never done it before is not as dangerous as posing as a thoracic surgeon but it can be just as embarrassing when push comes to shove. 9) In the movie business, push always comes to shove. 10) There's no business like show business (and be aware that the consequences of this truth are wide-ranging and far-reaching.
Anything Goes : Movie producers by Stephen Mitchell
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Totally...
;)
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I seriously agree with you about all of it. It is sort of the same with those who buy a camera or a DSLR and suddenly think they are film makers... there is so much more to it than just pointing the camera and pressing record... grrr! irritates me!
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Amen to this! Been spouting the same thing for a long time. Had a Producer tell me once, "there are no sharks in Hollywood, only circling around it looking for the next little fish". Well, as Darrin said, that circle has spread wide because of easy and cheap resources. Even though out here in the Midwest there are a couple of producers that can get a decent project done and get some sort of decent sales, most are these "nice folks" that really just talk a good game, and IMHO just "use" people for their own vanity. One sort of weakness about this particular site is that they give you a check list to pick your "skills" from, and this is what is shown to everyone else, weather you are, or just trying to be. Personally, on my facebook it says nothing about me being anything. When someone else reputable gives me the title, I may add it, until then I am just aspiring to be something. Years ago when I shelled out a ton of cash to buy a high end camera. Some decent gear, took classes, bought training series, practiced, and tried to learn everything I could. All I really wanted to do was cobble together other nobodies and try to learn and make something. Most people had no interest. They instead wanted the "Writer\Producer" (with on actual credits or experience) who claimed it would be huge, make them celebrities, make everyone rich, and be the next big thing. years later most of them, which I still know their whereabouts, are no closer than they were before. So props for speaking the truth, loved it. And welcome to what I like to call, "Hobbywood".
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Thank you, JD. Though I wrote this as satire in the voice of my alter-ego Ray D Shosay (rhymes with rez-de-chaussée meaning ground floor in French) it stems from an event that actually happened to me. I introduced an acquaintance and one-time Ferrari buddy to an established figure in Italian cinema and the fellow came away all bent out of shape because the property he 'owned' was exposed as an about-to-expire option that someone--a friend of a very big name Hollywood producer--suckered him into buying just before it expired. The flip side of the coin is that one is a writer, filmmaker or producer long before anything gets sold or there would be nothing to sell. By the time that first sale comes along, you have already been functioning as the thing to which you aspire. What bothered me was the arrogance of ignorance in this case. I'm very glad you enjoyed the piece.
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H Stephen, I absolutely agree, you need to be before you become. Sadly out her in the midwest, the far suburbs no less. It seems that everyone likes the title before they even think about the responsibilities that are required, even the beginning aspects or knowledge. I stopped helping most of them because I could see that the reason they never went into any position in the trade was because they already knew everything. The "collaborative community" out here means. "praise me, now do what I say." But enough negative, back to satire. Have fun friend. JD
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When I finally began my career--after learning on film and TV sets and picking up what I could--I went to France where I shot my first two projects. When I returned to Los Angeles two years later, I noticed a significant difference between the filmmakers there and here. In Paris, they wanted to get their hands on a camera and film. Here, they wanted to get an agent and a deal...
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I have the same sort of reaction when I hear people who've never written a thing say "I have this great idea I know it would make a great book/film/play I just need to find the time to write it and maybe get a writing partner to help." Then they ask me about publishers or producers. My reaction is always to tell them to lean the business you want to get into be it publishing film or stage and of course glue your butt to your chair and write the damn thing yourself. (editors are a different matter I've been writing for a long time and I need an editor)
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One thing I've learned is that the craft of creating an idea is quite different from the craft of writing a screenplay--one is qualifying for the Indy 500 and the other is actually racing the 500 miles. If you drive the race the same way you drove the qualifying laps, you won't make it. I was schooling a 15-year old Italian boy yesterday who lives in Italy and owns a clothing store (!!) on how to promote his movie idea and how to view it as a script. I told him a script is like a sentence. The first act is the subject, the second act is an active verb and the third act is the object.
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Can I add to your list above. One that I feel I have been encrusted in with most the the "filmmakers" out here? "If you look around the room and all you see are suckers, if you sit down you become one too."
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HA!!! I interviewed Richard Thomas recently and said his time in LA pitching was really so hard, it really taught him now to pitch and have lots of different ideas and projects on the go. He wrote Jerry Springer Musical, Anna Nicole the Opera etc He said if they talk yto you for an hour and seem really enthusiastic then you know it will never get done.
Sounds accurate to me, Marysia. That's why I created (Interview) so they would come to me with offers so I wouldn't have to pitch . :)