Introduce Yourself : An actor returns ... by Michael Bott

You never know what's round the corner, do you? I am a 59 year old actor with a varied career spanning over 35 years. I began my career in1976 doing weekly rep at Frinton Summer Theatre and from there graduated to touring, rep and fringe productions all over the UK, culminating in membership of the National Theatre and Royal Shakespeare Company. I have also appeared in television and film, appearing in such shows as ‘Casualty’,‘The Bill’ and ‘The Royal’. About fifteen years ago I formed my own production company producing corporate and special interest video documentaries. In other words, I had left acting. For a while video production proved more lucrative than a life in theatre and in those years I fulfilled many ambitions. However, those ambitions fulfilled, I lost my sense of purpose. Fifteen years is a long time to be absent from acting and I could not realistically figure how to make an effective return - acting is uncertain, yet to stand a chance you have to be 100% committed. Somehow I could not justify being 100% committed to uncertainty at the age of 59. But what to do? One day this May, the phone rang. It was the office of Robert Fox, the West End producer, wanting me to consider understudying Bill Nighy in the revival of David Hare's 'Skylight' at Wyndham's Theatre, starting rehearsals immediately. You see, one of the last acting jobs I did, seventeen years ago, had been the very same, understudying Bill Nighy in the same play, with the same production company. Apparently, they had seen quite a few actors for the job this time around and drawn a blank - then director Stephen Daldry (it was Richard Eyre before) asked the bright question 'who understudied him last time?'. To cut a long story short, I have just had the most amazing three months working on one of the great plays alongside some of the very best people in this business in one of the very finest theatres in London's West End. I loved every (scary) moment of it. My co-star understudy was just brilliant, we had a ball and we're sad it's over. However, I was able to use the exposure of the understudy performance to get myself a very good new agent and place myself solidly back into the profession. I consider myself a very, very, very lucky boy. In an age that tells us to dream big in order to achieve, it's remarkable how easy it is to put in our own glass ceilings as to what's possible. The fact that it's difficult to be specific about what we would like to achieve and the roles we would like to play in a profession that is so volatile, so driven by contingency and chance, leads us to be vague about where we would like to get to. Because we fear failure, we are afraid to set specific goals because we know how hard it is to be directive in our own careers. My own example shows how in one instant, one's whole life can be changed, bounced in a completely unforeseeable and unlooked for direction. But that very volatility teaches me that anything is possible and that I should not limit what I reach for. That being so, I have created for myself the possibility of winning a major award - be it a BAFTA, an Oscar - who knows. That is not to say that I will have failed if I don't achieve those things, but that being open to that possibility provides a very powerful context for all my castings, my readings and my performances - my whole attitude to being an actor shifts. So I return with a very different perspective. Personally, as an actor, the revelation of this high dive into the deep end job was that I don't have to try to be someone else. Bill Nighy is a very strong and idiosyncratic presence and I all but fell into the trap of imitating him. Fortunately, we had a director that would have none of that and was only satisfied when I brought my own strength on stage. His faith paid off. The lesson? You cannot hide. You are always bringing yourself to the table. You will be cast for who you are - not for someone you try to be. You are your own niche - be proud.