Introduce Yourself : The Murderer is Always the Gardener.... by Elisabeth Meier

Hey there, I'm a screenwriter and I love being it. Here's one of the reasons why.... you remember? Please forgive any typos, it's very early Sunday morning here. Should any producer and/or director be interested in collaborating, please just drop me line. The Murderer is Always the Gardener Fade in... Saturday morning about 9:00 am. A small street where hardly two cars can pass. Small houses with nice gardens, very clean, already too perfect, too clean and very calm. Summer heat, a black cat crosses the street with a still struggling little bird in its mouth. An old Mercedes is driving slowly along the houses. ELISABETH, end of 30, driving it, looking at each house, searching for the right number. V.O.: I know you won't believe me, but I'll tell you this story anyway. I just relocated with my black cat. You know, they call me a witch because of my female instincts and sensitive intuition. It's kind of true because I can even smell if something is going on and here is definitely something strange in the air. The car stops, Elisabeth gets out with the box for her cat and a bag with some clothes in her hands. She opens the garden gate and finds the entrance to the house behind 2 hazelnut bushes. She looks for her keys, the cat meows and unlocks the door. V.O.: My new house smelled like wood and was very nice and comfortable. I could already imagine how to redecorate it and give it my personal style. Strange was that there was no one to see. Elisabeth puts down her cat and the bag and walks around in the house. She opens the terrace door and steps out. Suddenly the loud noise of a chipper breaks the silence which makes her cringe. Her neighbor, a good looking man, looks up and waves. Neighbor: Hello beautiful neighbor! V.O.: Oh no, what an idiot. Elisabeth: Hello, yes, I move in today. The man comes to the small hedge, pulls out his gloves and reaches his hand over the hedge. Neighbor: My name is Aaron. I live here since 20 years and if my time allows I work as a gardener for all neighbors. So, should you ever need any help just give me a shout. Elisabeth smiles friendly, nods and shakes his hand. Elisabeth: Nice to meet you, Aaron, my name is Elisabeth. Thanks for the nice offer, but first I have to redecorate everything inside the house. Aaron (nodding): Sure, sure... just take your time. If you want I can cut the lawn in the meanwhile so that everything looks proper. Elisabeth (her smile fixed in the meanwhile): We will see. It looks okay for the moment. V.O.: And I will cut my lawn when ever I want to do it even if that will be never. She turns around. Aaron: Oh, before I forget it, I have the second key for your house - just in case. Would you like to have it or shall I keep it? V.O.: What a freak!? Oh my God! And this is my direct neighbor? Please not! Aaron: I have it in my house at the corner. I'll be done here in 5 minutes and then go home and have some coffee. Come with me, then you can see where I live and we can get to know each other a little better. V.O.: God forbid! Elisabeth: I will come in half an hour, first let me pack out my stuff. One hour later. Elisabeth knocks at Aaron's door. He opens. Elisabeth: Hi, I came to get the keys of my house that you still have. Aaron: Ahh..., nice, come in. She enters and stands in his one room house with a very low ceiling. There is a small fireplace and a bed, a large table with four chairs and a chair in front of a TV. Everything is white and very clean and tidied up. Aaron offers her a seat and she sits down and looks around while he fetches a cup and pours some coffee. She looks up to the white ceiling right over the table. V.O.: This man is spooky. Is he a gardener or a doctor? Maybe a pathologist who likes to... Oh no, I don't want to think this through the end. But what is that at the ceiling? At the ceiling there are footprints over the table and over his bed. Definitely footprints of the gardener shoes which Aaron is still wearing. Aaron comes back to the table, reaches her the cup of coffee and follows her eyes up to the ceiling. Aaron: Oh, that! Yes, I don't know how that could happen. I think I'm sleepwalking because the next morning I always have aching arm muscles. He shows his bicep and where it hurts. V.O.: Give me my keys, keep your damn coffee and let me run out of here. Please, God, help! Aaron: Guess I'm doing exercises. Don't know what kind of. Looks like handstand on the table. V.O.: Sure. Claro. Sleepwalkers always exercise on the table and leave footprints on the ceiling! Clear. Elisabeth nods, not convinced. V.O.: You have no idea what happened a few weeks later in the evening. My cat had less fears than me. That evening he sat in the window and meowed to call me to open the window. So I thought. I took a look to what he was watching and turned off our light before. It was already end of summer and some leaves had already fallen so I could see Aaron's house and his lighted windows. I took place beside my cat and cuddled him when he suddenly stopped cuddling me and stared into Aaron's direction. Elisabeth takes her cat into her arms and whispers something into his ear. The cat rubs his head under her chin as if he agrees. Elisabeth: Look, this is what men of today call sleepwalking and exercises... In his house Aaron his jumping on his bed, then running to the table, standing on the table, jumping up, back to the bed and jumping up with a shoe in his hand, trying to catch and kill mosquitoes. The End © Elisabeth R. Meier