In this case I need the dialogue. I'll leave the action line out. Jim really wasn't expecting a list, and to leave the dialogue out would make the scene longer (trying to make it shorter). He would have to comment and she would have to respond. (boring!) I learn it from y'all. As always, Thank you.
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One or the other but not both normally IMHO. Otherwise it's duplicating what is already known or implied.
Either:
Whit gives Jim a list. Jim looks it over.
or
WHIT
Jim, here's the list.
UNLESS it's introducing a new unknown item.
Ex: Whit enters, crosses to Jim and hands him a clipboard.
WHIT
The ratings from last night.
OR:
Whit enters, crosses to Jim and hands him a clipboard.
JIM
What's this?
WHIT
That's the list of our agents in Instanbul compromised due to the leak.
I like the 3rd option Chad
so, really say and show it is the way to go?
Dan Guardino Laura Scheiner What both Dan and Laura said is best practice.
don't need the dialogue
A simple INSERT or a CU could do the job.
In this case I need the dialogue. I'll leave the action line out. Jim really wasn't expecting a list, and to leave the dialogue out would make the scene longer (trying to make it shorter). He would have to comment and she would have to respond. (boring!) I learn it from y'all. As always, Thank you.
That dialog is on the nose - cut it.
Action can stay intact. What you could do is this:
Whit
(re: list)
"Here you go, Jim."
Would that work for you? Unless they don't have a good relationship, then he just hands the list and exits...