Screenwriting : My Kryptonite - SUBTEXT! by Eric Pagan

A quick tip for writing subtext I use is to write down exactly what the character is saying, the complete opposite of what they are saying and the most absurd thing they can say. Then once you have that you can combine them. So let's say Bobby is at a party, Sue is hosting and being polite, pouring out wine but Bobby has a secret drinking problem, she hates people knowing about and will likely result in Bobby getting drunk and ruining the night. The exact: SUE Bobby, I'm going to offer you some wine because I'm being polite, but given you're secret drinking problem I'm worried you'll ruin the night for everyone. The opposite: SUE Sorry, not for you, Bobby. You know why, can't have you ruining things tonight. The absurd SUE Hey drink some wine why don'tchya, Bobby! Make it a big glass you f--king alcoholic d--k! Make the night one to remember! Then the resulting combo: SUE You had enough, Bobby? Or is this going to be a night we'll all remember? Although you could probably do the above with minimal dialogue and just actions. Sue works her way around the table topping up glasses of wine. Bobby holds his out ready. She pauses as she holds the wine ready to pour into his glass. SUE Say when. She pours a small serving and sweeps away to the next person. Bobby stares at his glass disappointed. CJ When. Hope that helps. I found after doing that for a while the subtext started to come naturally.

Good advice from CJ. Mine is less practical, but here it is anyway: don't think that your job is to write subtext. Your job is to convey meaning. In CJ's example, you want to convey that Bobby's an alcoholic and that Sue doesn't want him to drink. Now write that in without having one character SAY it to another like they're reading a transcript of your story notes. Remove the word "subtext" from your mind. Convey the information in your story in an interesting way. That's all.

Wonderful advice from both CJ and Kerry.

On the nose dialog often arises from the mistaken belief that people listen and talk to to each other rationally. They don't. People not only don't say what they mean, they don't always respond directly to comments made to them. Try imagining that your characters are wearing ear plugs. Allow them to share a topic, but respond without directly acknowledging the previous comment. So, in CJ's example, when Bobby asks for wine, Sue could say something like: "This wine doesn't go very well with Steak Tartare, does it? Would you like some mineral water? It sounds like Sue gave Bobby a polite response, but you're not quite sure what Susan means.

Thanks guys, this help out a lot!!!

All great advice. And don't forget to read your lines aloud. That's a REALLY great way of flagging up "on the nose" dialogue.

Good points on showing and not telling and keeping it natural feeling.

Subtext is the REAL meaning behind a characters spoken words. When you know a characters true goal and their relationship with the character they are speaking to, that's when you can explore subtext. Subtext doesn't have to stop at the spoken word, you can combine it with action, a character saying one thing, but doing the opposite. The most straight forward example of subtext I can think of (pretty sure I read this somewhere) Two parents having dinner with their kids at the table. GREG You liked the meatloaf? EMMA It was okay, but I'm really looking forward to dessert. It probably funnier when the kids don't understand the subtext of dessert, so one of them can say . . . Mom, what's for dessert.

A subtext example I quote is in Thelma & Louise where Susan Surandon's character keeps implying a deep dark secret that happened in Texas... but never says it aloud. Ridley Scott's show-don't-tell-it restraint shows her lengthy cigarette ash burned all the way down to the filter as she looks out the window like it's a million miles away. Not one word. That... is subtext.

yeah you've got sarcastic/facetious - e.g. woman as she watches a guy eating an ice cream sundae: "I see you're really sticking to your diet plan there buddy", answering a question with a question - "We're going to the bar now, are you coming?" "What makes you think I enjoy going to bars??" or not answering a yes or no question with a yes or no: "Can you make three copies of this for me?" "I'm actually a partner here." romance situations obviously you have insinuation like: MAN: Y'know, I bet this street looks really good from your apartment. But real subtext is about concealing strong emotions. for example a family at the dinner table: Father: "This kid was a heck of a running back, but his SAT score wasn't up to snuff, so he didn't get a scholarship. Now he's working at the 7-11 bagging groceries". Son: "Mom, this pie is the best you've ever made, seriously it's delicious." subtext: "if YOU don't get a good SAT score, YOU won't go to college and I'm worried that will happen" "Screw you Dad I'm not in the mood for your lecturing right now".

I don't think subtext is down to the writer particularly -- I mean obviously you can write a great script which clearly shows that the characters intentions and motivations are, but I think it's down to the actor to add the subtleties and nuances which will allow the audience to spot the subtext without it being made too overt or obvious

Is your dialogue doing all of the heavy lifting in your script, or are you telling the story through the actions of the characters so the dialogue is free to be playful (and less direct)?

I feel Ciara is tapping into the issue of potential over-direction in scriptwriting.

Yeah Ben, I mean I think that if a script is well written, the subtext should be clear to the actors, but it's all about how a line is delivered which influences whether the audience can see the subtext or not (in my opinion!)

This is why the script needs to convey context. And also why writers, directors, and actors need to be working closely together.

Lajos Egri's books "The Art of Dramatic Writing" and "The Art of Creative Writing" are two of the best books I've ever read on writing, even though they're like 50 years old and more geared towards playwriting. I think it's the former that gave some of the best advice on dialogue I've ever read. A great chapter you should really check out--unfortunately I can't even begin to paraphrase it here.

Thanks for the info, I'll put that on my list. I just started reading Dr. Lina Seger's book writing subtext.