Screenwriting : Pitch by Christine Capone

Why do I have to explain I'm the best writer for the story??

Comps are comparisons, usually 2 or 3 films/tv shows that are comparable to your story. When people ask why you're the best writing for the story, they're really asking for you to showcase your passion for the concept and to get a sense of who you are as a creative. If the story is a comedy, the pitch should be comedic, if it's a drama, more intense. As the feedback mentioned, comps help with visual/tone choices for the story if those aren't clear then it can be hard for the producer/director/showrunner, etc. to get an understanding of the story overall. It seems like whoever reviewed your pitch simply wants to see more of you in your pitch!

Oh got it, thanks! I thought we had to just stick to the story and not really tell them why we wrote it and who we are.

Depending on the length of pitches, you can have wiggle room to showcase yourself, even if it's just in your style as a writer. Even if you want to write the script just because it's cool/fun always have a strong thematic undertone to the concept because that is what gets it made.

Maybe I'll do a verbal pitch next time.. I think there's more wiggle room to discuss why I wrote the story and see/hear my passion about it.

Since I am mainly a producer, I usually take pitches from writers. I not only look for the subject matter of the story, the plot, but the characters in the story and why the writer is writing or wrote the screenplay. Is it related to their own experience or some subject that they feel very strongly about? Also, if interested, I would ask to see a sample of their writing. Usually, the first 10 pages of a script.

When I am the writer, I usually pitch to directors. I usually start with directors that I think are perfect for the project and I would love to work with. Usually, the first couple are my dream directors and if they are interested and actually read the script, I am lucky. When I get further down my list I usually find a lot of interest.

Eugene is a genius. Well said. No matter what side of the table I'm on, I need to know these 2 things --

Why you?

Why now?

I lean toward the verbal pitches now. You get an opportunity to explain your story. Why you? Why now?

Just hang in there. Many of those opinion are subjective.

Christine, it reads like a canned response (can be used for anyone because it doesn't mention any specifics in your story).

David C. Velasco So true!

John, that's what I thought. I really didn't get much from it. Very generic. This is suppose to be a learning tool for us and I've learned nothing from her feedback.

Michael this is helpful, thank you! I knew my pitch wasn't really strong to begin with so I was hoping for a little more constructive feedback. I wrote it right after I finished the screenplay so my brain was a bit fried at the time but thought I'd try and pitch it. Now that I've taken a step back, and with the advice from those on this site, I see what I need to change. I think writing a pitch is not one of my strengths but I'm hoping my script gets the story across.

Christine, I received a similar canned response. Stage32 is in the business of selling help, so it's understandable.

The big thing is not to think of it as a failure. Not everyone will get what you do but they can still give you some good ideas of how to make it better.

(Personal Opinion) I find these things arbitrary. She basically said “I was entertained”. Have you every sat in a theatre and said “oh yeah I can tell the person that wrote that was the right person”? What about films that are rewritten, are all the people the right people?

Comps yes. It gives them an idea of tone. I had someone tell me a script felt like “The Road”. I was pleased, being compared to Cormack McCarthy, yes please.

Something being “dry” is a strange assessment. Like I said it sounds like she wants to be entertained.

This is just a thought. Does she know that material? How can she assess the pitch without know the material. If I don’t know a song, how do I know if you sang it well. All I can do is assess if you can sing. I cannot assess your treatment of the song. So in the end, she is assessing your ability to be engaging in a document. Interesting.

Ok, anecdote time! So, were all in this script workshop couple a years ago and mentors say now everyone pitch us your script. So, this guy from Kosovo goes...dull, I go...dull, other guy from Romania goes...dull, now this guy from Greece, Konstantinos's turn...he has some surreal story of some ghosts wandering on this foggy island...total mess...but the guy starts telling it as his life depends on it. Gesticulations, face mimics I mean he is reliving the story as it happened to him personally....so the mentors turn to us say - this is how you pitch guys...

these paid pitches are just a dog and pony show. Unfortunate the OP believes she didnt get equal value (feedback) for what she paid.

So Kiril, a verbal pitch is better than written!

Well, unless you can make comic book outta your written pitch...

I second Dan on the paid pitch.

I wouldn't take it so hard. There are a lot of passes in this business to get used to. The reader probably doesn't put too much time into it. My first pitch resulted in a script request. Then a few passes. I incorporated some of the notes from the passes, and the next one was a request. All of these pitches were written, as I felt I could control the content better.... I did one 1-hour phone consultation with a manager and that was a total dud. I literally learned nothing from it. I was just listening to an interview with a manager who said pitches weren't important and that he could tell everything from the log line.

Judith that is so interesting. And you're right, I can't take it too hard. It's a stab in the gut at first but you get over it. I just need to improve it. Thanks for the comment!

Film comps mean what two films are close to your project for example John Wick meets Tenet or Wanted meets Jaws. They are used for visual tones, styles, and genres that closely resemble yours. Keep in mind to use successful film comparisons.

The "why I felt the need to write the story/are you the best person to write it" Is also a BS question that I find and that you, IMO, answered the right way. Because I thought it was a good idea. There doesn't always need to be a reason. I guarantee you Hollywood never asks themselves this question only us. What was your personal connection to Tenet? How about Infinite? Why are you the best choice to write John Wick? Sounds ridiculous, doesn't it. It's a BS question. Point Blank.

The last paragraph is pretty much a selling point for her to use/give to studios if she decided to sign/option the script. She pretty much told you it. "Add more sellable elements" to make her job that much easier.

Aesthetic is tone/style. Same as film comps (Film Comparisons)

They want to have a sense of the atmosphere, what happens to the characters, and the feel of the piece. This also means that your synopsis should be focused on how the characters drive the story.

As for why you, as the writer, they want to understand what your connection to the material is.

Many of these elements can be half a line or a sentence. For example, I describe my series as "Nordic Noir in full Mediterranean color" to give a sense of the look/atmosphere.

My explanation of why I wrote it is a bit longer:

In my years in Greece, I worked on security and political projects that gave me contact with the political establishment, the corruption of the period, and international intelligence operatives investigating the domestic terror group N17. The story is entirely fictional,but draws extensively on real events and people.

Hope this helps.

I found a good article that sums up the questions you may have.

https://plotandtheme.com/2015/04/24/the-basics-of-film-aesthetics/

Thank you Jay & Christiane! I basically just sent them a synopsis. I didn't realize that I could explain why I wrote it and add in a little information about me. I get the comps now, thank you! I guess the word "comps" threw me off.

Christiane that sounds so interesting!

Christine Capone Thanks! :)

A good way to write your pitch is to keep the character journeys in mind throughout, since it is the characters that audiences will connect with, rather than just the plot. Sometimes its just a question of re-framing your pitch this way which will show a reader why audiences will want to invest in your characters’ journeys, and through them the plot. It is also a good way of showing their agency, rather than just seeming to be subject to a sequence of events. It sometimes takes practice but writing from this perspective can be a lot of fun!

Thanks Ewan, great advice! I will go ahead and do that.

Nice constructive advice, Ewan. I will definitely keep that in mine when putting together my written pitches. I know you hear and read your fair share of pitches.

Christine Capone - Good on you for sharing the feedback and requesting guidance on this lounge. The responses have been very positive and helpful. Having never pitched myself, I cannot say what would work, but I have certainly learnt a lot from the above responses from this great community. Thanks guys. Good luck with your next pitch, Christine!

Thanks Kat. Always up for great advice. It's only going to improve me as a writer. It's hard hearing the truth sometimes but you have to just keep trying until you get it right.