Hi, everyone. I'm working on my first written pitch. I've heard mixed reviews about including "We see..." in screenplays, but what about pitches? Like in setting the stage at the beginning of the overview section -- "We meet Rachel on the worst day of her life," and then briefly tell the story. Or should we steer clear of the we's to avoid offending anyone's personal preference? I know you can't please everyone all the time, but I just thought I'd check to see if anyone has any strong feelings on the matter. Thanks in advance for your help!
Screenwriting : Pitch Question - "We meet..."? by Becky Fink
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I use “we see” if it is an obvious call out to something we see that the characters do not. If it is just an establishing shot I don’t use it.
Think of it as salt. It can make something taste good but too much and it is ruined.
Is this a one page written pitch? I'm curious about the level of detail you need in the pitch.
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A written pitch is more detailed oriented. Stage 32 only allows 2 page written pitches but the majority of other producers not on stage 32 usually like a max of 5 pages written pitch. If you are not going to be verbally doing your pitch then in reality your pitch can contain the same elements as your Bible or Look Book. Best of Luck
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https://www.scriptreaderpro.com/tv-show-bible-examples/
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You really have a lot of ground to cover for the 2 page length. Nick has a really good example of the storytelling. Another thing to keep an eye in is repetition. Sometimes it will happen between character and story descriptions just be aware of it.
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No problem in a pitch documeny, but this did bring attention to just how rigid and format-ruled screenplays are. A nice alternative (in screenplays) to "WE SEE John being anxious"... is: "This is John, displaying typical anxiousness..."
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Becky, I used to use "We this, we that" from time to time in scripts...but Stage 32 helped break me of that.
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Don't think it matters. These pitches are about education. So make mistakes, get feedback & learn from failure. So when it's a real pitch with $/a job at stake, you can take all lessons learned and ace it!
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I am just reading a fantastic script of a film that just wrapped. It uses "we see" a couple of times. I think the problem with "we see" is not so much the phrase itself, but that it often opens an excessively long description that is not necessary. Scott Frank uses "we see," and he is not exactly a shabby screenwriter.
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I don't think there is a problem in using 'we see...' if used sparingly and adequately. The same can be said of acronyms and terms like ECU, FAVOR ON, b.g., POV, etc. Use them in moderation, like you would use salt and pepper on your favorite dish.
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Thanks, everyone! I agree that the screenplay and the pitch are different animals in terms of the "rules" people suggest you follow. I think I have something pretty decent (I mean, I would request a read), but since it's my first pitch, I'm just going to see how it goes and rework it if it doesn't succeed. It's a marathon, not a sprint. Thanks again for taking the time to respond! I've learned a lot from lurking in this lounge, and I really appreciate everyone's knowledge, and hopefully I'll have experience to share one day. :-)
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I like the adage, "First learn the rules, then break them"