INT. BEDROOM-NIGHT
Stacked boxes sit near the bed like a child’s fort, askew and offering no protection.
Its so quiet. But- If you listen closely, you might hear the trees in the distance telling their story to the night air as it tickles their branches.
The wind, unable to hold the secret, carries it through the open bedroom window filtering it through the curtains and laying it softly upon the dreams of those sleeping inside.
Somewhere in the distance there is grating. Like a hunter’s knife cutting through wood- or bone.
Hi Angie, the guys are right, it's nice but it's a novel, which is good. You can see what's going on and the thoughts behind it. I'm now writing my stories as a Screenplay for structure, a Novel for depth and Graphic Novel for impact, The same story written in different formats. Keep going.
You have a very nice smooth novelist writing style - but it ain't no script.
I agree with the rest of the opinions here. That reads more like a novel than as a screenplay. In a screenplay every word has to count and make the story move forward.
Thanks all. I appreciate your professional critique.