Call them Midgets, little people, Dwarves,dudes of diminutive stature, whatever, but I call em' sexy as hell and after my dad took me to a Macy's Christmas Day parade and I saw a Dwarf playing the baby Jesus, I was star struck and hooked for life. So when the BBC came to me and asked if I wanted to do a cutting edge piece of journalism covering a little guy Named "Captain Dan the Demon Dwarf" who got his wee man caught in a vacuum cleaner, I said count me in, because this is a life time dream come true,it's what I've trained for. But when they said I had to chase this tiny fella all over U.K and stay in a "Days inn budget hotel" until I persuaded the little bastard to share his tale of humiliation on television, I said "I best give it a miss". Then they said okay to a medium priced hotel, I was back on board, and this is what happened. This segment Won an RTS (Royal Television Society) award for the BBC, they must have lost my number because they never called to ask where to send the prize! So for anyone who has ever got their Penis caught in a vacuum cleaner ,this one is for you!