To show I am absolutely committed to building a story off of a title, I'm going to write FRIEND OR FOE -- straight off the title. The paper thin/starter logline is: A happily married couple takes their friends to a party at a secluded mountain lodge only to discover everyone there is having an affair with someone else at the lodge. … I need another component -- or another logline!? How do I make it sicker?! What say you?
Screenwriting : BrainStorming… What say you? by Shawn Speake
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Couple of ideas And so is one of the 'happily married' couple Apart from a psychotically jealous killer
What I have is what you see. Obviously, theme is friendship, whatever story I choose to tell. I'm open for anything. The best idea wins here.
I am literally putting my money where my mouth is on this one -- I wasn't playing!
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Throw in a pregnancy and have all the guys think they're the father...yes it's been done before but what hasn't? Put a new spin on it. TWO pregnancies! An STD! Who brought the crabs and who will get them next?
The title attracts me to the idea, Ron. I'm trying to be humble, but basically I'm showing off. I'm proving that I can build a story off of a title. And your post was absolutely no help!… Just saying… Lol!
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was kind of done already in Friends and Lovers.
Thanks Danny! Now we're getting somewhere! What's the most entertaining movie you've seen on this premise? I'll start with that clay, and jack it up on steroids. Should I watch FRIENDS AND LOVERS? It that the classic you suggest I steal from… I mean study?
Anthony, I open for all ideas. Nothing is set yet! Here's what I'm gonna do: I'm gonna take one of the best movies ever on the premise, and I'm gonna steal what I like, then I'm going to make it sicker by shooting it up with TEAM SPEAKE STEROIDS!
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Shawn, you could give it a "Ten Little Indians" twist Agatha Christie style by introducing some mystery. Perhaps have their deepest secrets, other than the adultery angle, be revealed. Perhaps a dirty business deal that sent a grandmother to her grave, or have one of the wives earning extra money on the side through prostitution. Thus, exploring the true Friend or Foe conundrum and forcing internal reflection. Of course, this all depends on your definition of "sick." :-)
Love it, Marc! Adding the who-done-it component is definitely on my mind. I'm adding TEN LITTLE INDIANS to my research list. Thanks for taking the time to help this story builder!
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Glad I could generate a spark! If you feel I can help, just let me know. Keep the fire burning, Shawn!
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A camping party turns into a swinger party with a daisy chain of surprises for one unsuspecting couple and their conservative friend.
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Shawn, I'm thinking about Blame It On Rio where everyone cheats and then works it all out
Try asking what's the problem-solution-problem-solution? That's my new thing.
e.g.
Problem: Married woman unhappy - no passion/never see each other/they've become "friends"
Solution: A male friend of the husband who owns a ski lodge suggests that they come down to his lodge for a rekindle the flames weekend
Problem: This "friend" hasn't told them he's hosting a swinger party there that weekend and that's his idea for them to rekindle the flames - to have an "open relationship" going forward (he believes monogamy is b.s.)
Solution: They swing - and they seem okay with it - maybe their friend is right
Problem: Then the husband gets jealous
Solution: Beg for the wife back and move on from this experiment, promising to put more effort into relationship
Boom, those 6 beats could be the structure of a movie - you got sex, ski vistas, happy ending plus the fun supporting role of the friend who encourages sexual experimentation and could be a total freak.
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ok so that logline would be
A couple with marital problems go to a friend's ski lodge to rekindle the flames, but find that the friend is a swinger who is hosting a sex party that same weekend and thinks that is what they need
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Rick, Dave! The swinger component is dope. Now we're building a story. Thank you, thank you. I got go back and take notes on the post! You guys are rock stars!
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Great posts
Yes. they are, Stacey. Welcome to S32, my friend! This is how we get down!
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Hey Shawn, was just wondering how the brain melting, I mean "storming" was going? ;-) I fully expect to hear a Happy Writers "success" story from you about this. Wouldn't that be fantastic!
Hey Marc! Thanks for the love. I like Dave's logline. That's some sickness we can work with! That's what we got cooking in the pot now! … And I've got Happy Writer Coverage on another spec script, KINGSTOWN, due any day. I'll keep you posted on both!
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His LL does "Speake" ;-) to me as well (I know, horrible pun, couldn't help myself). I had The HW's do one of mine and, man. Is it tons better now. It is in a great place and always where I thought it should be. I am "Happy" with it. (someone stop me!).
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That's what's up, Marc! What's your plan with your story now?
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The plan, as it stands now, after a few more in-depth grammar and spell checks, to see what fate awaits it among the more prestigious screenplay contests. If the $$ are there, I might even request some feedback just to see what they may say about it, will have to think on the latter. Once it has been entered, I will put in a place of honor awaiting its fate and shine up the other one that I have while fleshing out several more ideas. I am even contemplating pitching it in a few HW's sessions, again, $$.
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If you got ten minutes..check out the first ten pages on my website. http://www.the1stten.me/home/legacy or the full nut within my LL section of my profile, nothing wrong with a little promo. ;-)
Marc, for you, I got 15… Nothing wrong with a little promotion at all. I'm on it.
LEGACY looks pretty good. Some of your Master Scene Headings include description. You might wanna address that. And there's 13 character intros in the first 9 pages. How many characters are in your movie?
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Of all the feedback I have gotten, the master scene and character stuff has never come up. This makes me think it might not be such a large issue of course, I know it all depends on who reads it. That is pretty much it for the characters. Thank you, Shawn for taking the "15" ;-). I will definitely keep your observations in mind in case it comes up and, if/when it does, then you can hear what us men don't hear too often, "You were right" ;-). Thanks again, man!!!
Oh, I'm just a nut when it comes to formatting! Double-digit coverages make you that way! lol