Filmmaking / Directing : My first Film Short by John Luerding

I don't know if you are aware, but if you are willing to learn it, you can do a lot with Audacity which is free sound software. Although I run protools I often use Audacity for quick sound grabs and some basic noise cancellation. But I have heard some projects mastered on it and it can be powerful.

An original take on vampire storyline, I've not heard before, and captivating visual opening of her back view walking up the vast staircase. Her soft narrative voice with no background music made her tale seem more intimate, and personal, as she sat in the semi darkness. I did not miss any studio background sounds. The shock factor was just enough at the beginning , suddenly seeing the deep holes in her neck, and her eyes change to the weirded opal slits. I was satisfied she got revenge for her fathers death, and early life in the gutters, and her true inner evil surfaced only for the people responsible. (Some vampires are not selective). A vampire with compassion, she let her lover die for real, rather than force her to live forever out of selfishness. I liked it.

this is a good concept film that you could use to pitch the idea for a feature.

I agree with Joe, comment above.

Thank you Joe and Debbie. It came to me one day after watching "Dracula Untold" wondering why do we always have to vilify vampires. What would happen if.... They could love...what sacrifices would they be willing to endure or what choices would they make for love and in this enlightened age of same sex marriages, why not this?

Why not? Indeed. This fresh take on a vampire story, made me agree with Joe , it could be pitched for feature. Interestingly the vampire was viewed as Protagonist aswell as Victim turns Avenger, for her fathers brutal and meaningless murder. She becomes nurturer instead of aggressor to her lover, poignantly letting her die, instead of selfishly feasting and forcing her to live forever. A brave self sacrifice, condemning herself to an eternal void, putting a humans feelings before her own. I could see this as a series, that always starts with her narrative, kicking off a story that could play out in multiple ages/eras. Eg Victoriana, modern day office etc.

Series or Feature? She is a four hundred year old vampire which marks her as an elder in the world of vampires. Series I could see her looking back in time writing about her life which was the original premise for this movie. As a feature... It could work expanding on what I have but I doubt a sequel would do it any justice.

This is honest feedback, not ego boosting. So I hope you will take it in the open and honest spirit it is intended. I do want to point out that the reason we vilify vampires is that traditionally they feed on human blood and were rumored to be the cause of stolen children, murders in the forest, and were undead. This came up in a society that was a very religious society. They could not be in sunlight so they crept around at night where bad things lurk. One of the original versions had the first vampire selling his soul to Satan. Part of the reason people are drawn to the vampire is that there is a darkness to them. If they are just ordinary people you are writing a soap opera with window dressing. The big conflict of a vampire is the NEED to kill humans to eat. That was pacified in more modern versions so they can just sip blood. But if you really want to make your story move and have power, I would suggest going back to the more gruesome aspect as a counterpoint to your story. The truth is that a vampire story is a story of addiction when it is broken down. You want to address love and sacrifice, it is still based around addiction. A Heroin addict NEEDS a fix to live, going cold turkey can kill a hard core addict. A vampire needs to have fresh blood. A Heroin addict still loves and sacrifices, but it is all based around the addiction. And the idea that they can drink from a blood bank.....well I would say that it would be like eating microwave dinners....they do if you have to have them, but someone with the power that a vampire has would use it. Power corrupts.....Very few would continue to live on scraps and tv dinners if they have the power to eat a fresh grilled steak. (Or fresh organic veggies for the vegans out there.) I will stop here. If you want to discuss anything further, I am willing chat. Rock on, keep making stuff!

watch the TV show FOREVER. you'll get an idea of how this could be a TV show

I'm not discounting what you are saying John Garrett, I'm just putting a more humanistic feel to it. Even for us as humans we choose alternate methods of consuming food. From meat eating to vegans. Is the possibility that a vampire could alter it's source of food pure based on having a revulsion to human blood?? I mean all things considered we are talking about a movie were anything in the creative mind is possible. My short doesn't address the drinking of blood in the conventional "addiction" way. It moves beyond that so that it doesn't over shadow the tragedy the vampire suffered as a little girl or one who has suffered the loss of her lover. Joe Becker, I'll look into it. thanks a bunch for the heads up.

John, I think that is the point I was making. Why be a vampire? To me, and this is only my opinion of course, the concept of being a vampire appears to be window dressing. Now I want to say that people have made a lot of money by window dressing stories that were simply dramas, but to sell them you add vampires or werewolves or whatever is popular. So there is nothing wrong with it. But everything you just said about making it humanistic.....well, that is the thing about vampires, they are not humanistic. You are, forgive the pun, taking the teeth out of the story. The idea that they can rise above the need to feed and choose to be a Vegan Vampire (might be a great story there) means there is no down side to being a vampire and everyone should be one. This is the issue I had/have with Teen Wolf. They made a lot of money on a script I found uninspiring. So there is money to be made in that fashion. Side note* Teen Wolf focused on the magic and all the intricate rituals not just the drama. I just think you could add depth to the character if she were either more human or more vampire instead of something muddled in the middle. I won't keep beating a dead horse at this point. Just wanted to make sure I was clear on my thoughts.

I agree John Garrett, but... I draw your attention to the movie "Dracula Untold', What lengths will a man take to safe guard his wife and son? I also will say that you are getting just a small glimmer of a view into this characters life, and even if you humanize a Vampire, the down fall to a relationship such as the one in my short is that the vampire will run the risk of always watching their lover die regardless if its by disease or old age, they will forever feel the loss of a loved one. That is the downside. To out live the very thing you love and be doomed to repeat it for eternity.