Screenwriting : Log Line Dilemas. by Antonio James Casci

I think you have to represent the whole story so people could understand, should have the begining middle and end of the story, be as dramatical as you can and say something about the main characters., we also have to feel what the story it's about.

I'm not going to get into the nitty-gritty of logline advice for fear of repeating many other great posts. But I'd like to remind people that loglines should be accurate, informative, and descriptive, while taglines can be more stylized as the marketing tool that they are. Too often I read taglines disguised as loglines or which are hybrids of the two.

I would leave some mystery to the logline, so people will want to find out the answer by reading your script.

You have to give away the concept, or the whole thing is pointless. And you don't really have enough words to b descriptive... better to be evocative.

I respectfully disagree with Mr. Allis. But I guess it depends on how you define "mystery." Rather than spend time writing my argument, I took the easy way out. I cut and pasted the below for reference. :-) "Blake Snyder’s basic logline template is composed of the hero (with a descriptive adjective), the antagonist (also with a descriptive adjective) and the hero’s compelling, ironic primal goal written to spark images of possibilities. For example, Die Hard’s logline would be: A bullheaded cop comes to L.A. to visit his estranged wife when her office is taken over by terrorists. The enhanced logline would something like: On the brink of a divorce, a bullheaded, street-wise, New York cop is trapped in his wife’s office building by terrorists and teams up with an L.A. “desk cop” to stop them; but when his taunts of the terrorists risks exposing his hostage wife’s identity, he must learn to adapt and change to outsmart the lead terrorist and prevent the true goal of a billion-dollar heist." That's per http://iconoclasticwriter.com/blake-snyder-save-the-cat-story-plot-devel... Please note I did not check Blake's book to see if he's been quoted accurately by this blogger. I find the "enhanced logline" a bit too demanding, but it's the right idea for sure for a short synopsis.

@ Regina, I know what you mean, but think the enhanced logline is too long - seen from all I learned about loglines so far. If I'm wrong then I would write the enhanced in 2 sentences. A logline should be easy/fast to read and get, tell everything about the concept & make curious to read the script. Descriptive adjectives are required, but too many can spoil the whole thing. I see loglines as an art in itself and if it was a job a I would like to become a logline writer besides my screenwriting. ;)

@Elisabeth, please note my last sentence where I say "the 'enhanced logline' is too demanding." I call it a short synopsis. But I give it points for accuracy!

In my research this is what I found. I didn't write this but I've found this very helpful. I believe this was written by James Burbidge Hope it helps 1. A logline must have the following - the protagonist - their goal - the antagonist/antagonistic force 2. Don’t use a character name It has no intrinsic information and so is a useless word. Instead, tell us something about the character. - A sous-chef - An ex-superhero 3. Use an adjective to give a little depth to that character This is your chance to show some character. Beware of cliche, and also of the power of irony. It's helpful if the characteristic you describe will have something to do with the plot. - A mute sous-chef - An alcoholic ex-superhero 4. Clearly and quickly present the protagonist’s main goal This is what drives your story and it will drive your logline too. Make sure that the goal is present early in the script - if you don’t make good on your logline’s promise early enough the rest of the script won’t get read. - A mute sous-chef wants to win the position of Head Chef at her boss' new restaurant - An alcoholic ex-superhero searches for his daughter 5. Describe the Antagonist The antagonist should be described in a similar, but preferably shorter, manner than the hero. If the hero faces a more general antagonistic force then make it clear that they are battling something, not just life’s bumps and buffets. - A mute sous-chef wants must fight off an ambitious rival to win the position of Head Chef at her boss's new restaurant. - An alcoholic ex-superhero searches for his daughter after she is kidnapped by his dementing, jealous former sidekick. 6. Make sure your protagonist is pro-active He or she should drive the story and do so vigorously. A good logline will show the action of the story, the narrative momentum that carries you through the script. In some cases the protagonist will be reactive, but note, this is not the same as passive. 7. If you can, include stakes and/or a ticking time-bomb These are very useful narrative devices that add urgency tou your script. If they fit in easily, include them in your logline. - To save his reputation a secretly gay frat-boy must sleep with 15 women by the end-of-semester party. 8. Setup Some scripts operate in a world with different rules to our own and require a brief setup to explain them, e.g. most science-fiction stories. Others have a protagonist whose personal or psychological history is crucial to the story and needs to be explained. Again, be brief. - In a world where all children are grown in vats... - Driven to a mental breakdown by an accident at work, an aquarium manager... 9. About the ending Do not reveal the script’s supercool twist ending, even if it is the next The Usual Suspects. The story, and thus the logline, should be good enough to hold up by itself; a surprise ending should be a lovely bonus found when reading the script. N.B. This all changes when you get to writing your treatment. 10. Don’t tell the story, sell the story Create a desire to see the script as well as telling them what’s in it. Loglines are like poetry, every word counts. Tinker, test, and tinker some more.

@ Regina Lee - sorry, I skipped the last sentence. Please forgive me it's 5 am here. ;)

@ Regina - but thanks for the points. :)

Love that "don't tell the story, sell the story.:" Great thing to remember--thank you!