Screenwriting : How do you "see" your own scripts with fresh eyes by Travis Sharp

How about this: give your script to 5 people; if you see some good points, try to think of ways to adjust your script so that those things are no longer issues. Now you're going to say that's not what you were asking... The real way to go about escalating your work is to write it with a solid storyline to begin with, so that by the time you've finished it and gone over it once or twice to iron out all those little niggles (there is always something), you have something very close to excellence. NOTE: the biggest problem here is creating a strong storyline to begin with... and it's this part that a lot of new writers don't seem to get (regardless of how much they'll argue otherwise). "But you still haven't answered my question..." What do you really want me to write here? You know when your script is of a certain calibre. You can lie to yourself, you can say everyone who told you otherwise is wrong, but you know. So, the question should not be, "How to see a script with new eyes?" but, "How do I take my so-so screenplay to the next level?" Some concepts just aren't ever going to move above being merely good; sometimes a script is flawed already at the plotting stage; sometimes it's a technical thing - you're just not as advanced as you want/need to be; sometimes a screenplay is plotted and executed so well that after a first draft, it's about ready for market. But what I'm going to do is tell you one of the most important skills a screenwriter needs to have to ever stand a chance of "making it": problem-solving. Not everyone is meant to be a writer, but be honest with yourself at all times and eventually, one way or the other, you'll gain contentment. Ah... zen.

Yeah, because you wrote it. Follow CD's advice, give your script to five people. Its time to start accessing your work in the eyes of other writers.

Has to be qualified people. Otherwise be prepared to be clouded even more.

No matter who or how many people you give your script to, you will have as many and conflicting comments. Even when you Pitch it to the professionals. If you keep changing at others whims, it will no longer be your story.

I kinda asked a question here that probably doesn't have a great answer. It's a good script and I've gotten coverage notes twice by professionals that were quite positive. I'm near the finish line with editing and rewriting. Thanks for the feedback all. I appreciate you taking time and energy to care.

Especially thanks to Patricia, I know that to be true but it's nice to have someone else say it too.

I agree with RB and Patricia. Need to have a few pros read the work. A few to get varied opinions, but not so many that you lose your mind. I think the biggest mistake writers make when starting out is soliciting the opinions of the unqualified.

Travis, Where do you want the script to go? Each screenplay's a journey, the story unfolds as it moves along. A man walks into a shop and buys cat food. A man walks into a shop and sees a pretty girl. A man walks into a shop, goes to pick up cat food, notices the said pretty girl pick up some cat litter and asks, "So, what kind of cat do you have?" If the man's in the shop when you want him to be on a desert island, what's wrong here? What I'm saying is that it's your story, and really, even though people can make suggestions, only you are writing it, so you need it to hit all the marks that you feel it's missing in order to elevate it. The pretty girl gives the man a slip of paper with her number handwritten on it, the name reads: VERONICA. The man runs in a panic through the undergrowth, towards the shoreline on a desert island. A subtitle reads: TWO MONTHS LATER. Veronica stalks after him, machete in hand, covered in someone else's blood. The man hits the water, looks around - nowhere to go... and Veronica's closing in. MAN (V.O.) How the hell did I go from Whiskers to this? Sometimes, it's as much about what you leave out as what you add. Apologies for being somewhat vague, but each story is pretty unique in the problems it needs to overcome to be as good as it possibly can be, but you need to keep a reader's attention, and if that means keeping them in suspense, mulling over a mystery or awestruck by non-stop action, then so be it, but you have to make each age build on the last, so that finally, when the end comes, the reader puts the script down and says, "F**in' A!" P.S. I have absolutely no idea of the level you're at as I haven't checked your bio, but hopefully all this text will help somebody, even if not you. P.P.S. Why do writers rework scripts a few years later even if they used to be happy with it? No river can be crossed twice: we're constantly changing, always being influenced by things, so we always want to adapt to our standards of today. You decorate your home for the woman of your life and she'll tell you it's *perfect, yet a couple of years later she'll say that she wants you to paint the walls a different colour...

RB, Define, "qualified". To me, the best contacts are fellow writers who write to a high standard and are insightful, honest, and not afraid to make suggestions. But then, I also have one main reader who's never written a page and has all of those skills - as well as market knowledge! I don't think that there's a qualification for those qualities. On some sites, writers diss books that have been recommended as helpful by other writers because the author never made a sale. "All these guys calling themselves "gurus", but what have they ever had made?" Some people may well be crappy writers but excellent teachers. Why heckle some bloke's mum giving him feedback if she's the one who gives the best feedback? To be honest, I just see a big problem wherein writers think, "I have to spend money to make money," so pay $200 dollars to some bloke who used to be a reader at a studio. Wouldn't that writer be far better off using sites like Stage 32 to build a circle to give and receive feedback from? Yeah, there's always a slush pile - maybe that's why people fork out for feedback? - but in the long run, relationships can help nurture, develop and inspire. After years at this, my once hardcore circle is gradually whittling away as people - in one way or another - move on, so you can expect me to rely on Stage 32's massive membership to seek out replacements (hell, I may even make a script-swap thread tomorrow!). I'm not saying that you were even suggesting it, but paying $200 dollars for a page filled with someone's opinion? Not going to happen. Even Derek Haas (if memory serves correctly), after finding one paid reader very useful, said that real contacts was the way to go. And Stage 32 presents a grand opportunity for anyone looking to make those contacts.

I never claimed that RB was telling writers to fork out $200 for reads. However, here on S32, RB's a very well-respected figure whose remarks hold a lot of weight, so I did ask for a clarification (which could just be that he meant, find people whose opinions you can trust, but he didn't have the time to write that in such a verbose manner as I did). Also, considering how feedback is every writer's best friend, there's absolutely nothing wrong with having contacts who'll read your work, especially when we're not all lottery winners with $200 dollars to give away every few months, on top of all of life's other expenses. Hell, I grew up in a low-income area and even today, I know people on minimum wage who barely scrape in more than that a week, working 9 hours days, 5 days a week. Some of those people though, are damn intelligent, insightful, and know - through having seen thousands of films - what makes a good story. Maybe, under different circumstances, they could even have been readers at a studio? Perhaps I should offer them $200 rather than a pint and heartfelt thank you?

The Script mechanic $99 a script. The guy has been around for 20 years. Excellent reputation.

Hey C. Let me start by saying, yes, that's what this platform is all about. Making connections, finding your tribe, winning champions. No question. That should be a daily pursuit. One I've mentioned (many times) that needs to be treated like a job. Seems to me that you have found a couple of people who have the qualifications and experience to give you proper feedback (particularly the one who has market experience - vitally important). Many writers, however, lean on family, friends, or perhaps peers who are in the same boat as them. They take that feedback as gospel, which ends up being to their detriment. So when I say "qualified", I mean those who have industry experience, have a proven track record of understanding story and, if possible, understand the current marketplace. When I was first beginning to write, I decided immediately that I was going to invest in myself. That meant I was going to build a little nest egg for things like books, coverage, contest entries (only to contests which gave me access to industry decision makers with a good placing), conferences, etc. I built this nest egg through sacrificing some other so-called luxuries - a dinner here, a night out there, a few less trips to Starbucks a month and so on. As many here know, the path to my current manager and the sale of my first script came through a combination of a 1st runner up placement in a contest and connections I made here through Stage 32. However, before I entered that contest, I paid a couple of executives I believed in for coverage, feedback and consultation. To this day, as a last line of defense, even with a manager, I still have two executives I pay for feedback (both of whom work directly with us at the Happy Writers, worth noting). Now, I've become friends with both of them. Sometimes they refuse to let me pay. But if they won't take money, they'll get a great bottle of wine or a spectacular dinner. Their time and expertise is worth something, and they need to know I respect that. So, in closing, to each their own. I have built up so many relationships over the years. As you know, I network every day and set goals on my networking by week. I have a small army of colleagues who are happy to read my work. And I lean on these knowledgeable friends when I'm working out a problem, or maybe after the first draft, or maybe even after the first rewrite. But when I'm ready to turn the screws for the final time before releasing the work to my manager or to the world, I call upon those two execs (and, at times, a third). This works for me. It's proven to not only be my shortest path to getting the work air tight (for that moment), but to give me the comfort and security to release it into the wild. I hope that helps and clears things up! Happy to answer any other questions you (or anyone else in this thread) might have.

I like to have a reading of it so I can actually hear & see what needs to be added or CUT!.

Not sure there's a CEO in the universe who would take the time to construct such a detailed and thoughtful response. Hats off, RB.

I am surprised every time I see someone read my work without my interference. Get it read and have them record it. You'll hear what the world is really reading and not what your eyes are reading.

I love to get two different write up's of the script to see if what I think is wrong with the script is correct. Affirmation is the best.

RB,

Thanks for taking the time to clear that up. I think you'll agree though that writers need to work themselves up to a certain level before it's even worth submitting work to production companies/agents, etc.

Platforms such as Stage 32 are particularly great for new writers as they'll be able to find many on the same starting level. Trying to see the mistakes in other writers' scripts helps us learn how to analyse our own... this is how writers grow.

Obviously then, a writer who's penned a 150 page script that a more accomplished writer could pare down to 90 (strengthening it in the process, as opposed to merely cutting bits out), has quite a bit to learn, so should be making contacts rather than shelling out $$$.

Congratulations on the sale, by the way - first I've heard of it (I've been buuussssy) - and hopefully it'll lead to more.

Agree completely, C. And thank you.

stick it in a drawer and write another two.

One method is to pick random scenes in your script and focus on them. Don't start on page one and read thru the script, rather somewhere else so you can see the scene a bit more objectively in and of itself rather than part of a bigger picture. From there, ask if it works: does it have a goal? Is there a turning point to it? Is there an action taken or a decision made? Does it convey emotion? Subtext? Dramatic irony? Revelation? Exposition? There are literally dozens of questions you can come up with to spot check your scene, but unfortunately, a lot of people write scenes as if the were merely bridges to get to the next plot-point, when in fact, each has a structure unto itself. As the saying goes, master the craft of scene and you'll master the craft of story.

James Barker great points.

Read the script backward. Start from the ending, and read event-by-event. Does it make sense? If not, what can you add/take away so that it does?

I write another first draft screenplay before I tackle the second draft. My mind becomes focused on the new script so the old script can be seen with fresh eyes. Just alternate drafts.

It's helpful to me when I take a fresh script to a different place that is not my writing room. I print a hard copy, and go out somewhere - bars, libraries, museums, coffee shops, gardens, places of historical significance, mountains, beaches, cemeteries, etc. Being in a new environment works wonders in those situations.

Good luck and Happy Writing, Travis!

Same thing with @William, I keep myself busy writing something else and by the time I have written at least two scripts that are first drafts I would be ready to look back on the screenplay. Before I even start re-writing, I put it down for a week or two and go back on the spelling and grammar errors and make some revisions and then annotate.

Though, I usually get someone to read it first. Like a friend, another writer, colleague, filmmaker or family member - and especially a script editor or script supervisor. Try also reading it aloud to yourself, especially for dialogue and sub-text.

I do the same exact thing, Bill. Hard copy. New environment.

Me, too, Bill and RB. I also change the font when I'm working on novels and short stories. That helps it to look 'new' to me. Not sure if I can do that on F/D though.

I take off my reading glasses for a while and try to read it. Then, when I put them back on, Voila... a new set of eyes! Kidding of course. I'm like others, I'll put it away for a while and work on another script. When I come back to it, I'll see things I didn't before.

For dialogue, I'll read it out loud or have Final Draft or Adobe "read" the script to me. When I hear it, I'll catch things that I wouldn't if I read it ten times.

Thanks all. Good talk.

Not sure if you have Final Draft, but I click on Tools, Assign a Voice and then click play on Speech Control. I read along as the 'actor' reads the script.

Some great suggestions. Another is to write a synopsis (if I haven't yet). That helps me see what needs to be a focus in the story, and whether I need to amp that up in the script.

I've also found watching a few movies with a similar theme helps me be more creative. How can I tell this differently than what's already out there? Watching similar things to get different ideas seems counter-intuitive, but it does help me!

Coming from the world of theatre, there is NOTHING like inviting a group of actors into your house, pouring everyone a glass of wine and letting them READ it out-loud for you. The insight and feedback you will get will be priceless!

Hey PAUL, do you really like the Actor voice on FD? I've been afraid to try it - that it would sound like a scene between H.A.L and Stephan Hawking! But, then again, it would definitely be a FRESH take on the script!

Daniel, is it expected I supply food for the actors? I doubt they eat much.

Travis, well i have a lot of actor friends, so I can round them up for the cost of a few snacks and a few drinks - if its just a casual reading. If you don't have friends like that, it may be harder! I wonder if you could host a stage32 MEETUP in your area with actors and fellow writers? Taking turns to have actors read different scripts. Great way to network!

Try your best to read your script like an audience member who has absolutely no idea where the story is headed.

Daniel, the voices I like the best in Final Draft 10 belong to Alex, Daniel, Samantha & Tessa. Yuri has a great voice for a villain. A lot of the others seem to have very heavy accents to me, but I suppose that is Final Draft trying to cater for a global market. Cheers, Paul

i went to a book reading last month just because the invitation said "catering by Dean & DeLuca".