Screenwriting : Formatting question by Steven M. Cross

Every time you move the camera/lights/audio - it's a new scene (there are a few exceptions on dolly shots - but that's not your concern).

You can use a new scene. But if it is continuous you may want to hint at that. Or you could cleverly use transitions as a way of moving us through the building.

Read some Tony Gilroy. He does good transitions and scenes across locations. Find a style and stick with it throughout the script.

if its primarily in building and you have established it is in building via INT. - BUILDING - day then id just be writing HALLWAY or OFFICE or MEN'S ROOM. Bit like a scene in a house where you need to go from room to room. Once the house scene is established, I just write KITCHEN or BEDROOM.

But if you leave the house/building from somewhere totally new and then return to house, you need to start with INT. HOUSE - DAY again.

If you are having a lot of short cuts to different places like multiple rooms in house or office building, I find lots of sluglines too hard on eyes. I'd rather just see "MANAGERS OFFICE'. Maybe 1 line description if important to story or if there is something about room the reader/viewer needs to know.

Hey Kay. I have used the method I talk about numerous times and in scripts that have been finalists or received positive coverage either paid, or positive feedback from studios and producers. I am not saying my is the only way, but it is how I was taught to write scenes. I have never had this part of my writing/formatting challenged or questioned and when told of improvement it needs to make, its never been this aspect.

If you have several scenes in a space (especially enclosed/indoor) that you need to jump to, I think it is ok to just write the location word ONCE the initial slug has been stated. But if you leave that setting/space for total different place, then you need to reestablish slug when returning.

One of my scripts is set on ship with action scenes on the deck. Once I set the EXT. SHIP DECK - DAY and described the scene I didn't use this slug line over and over again for every shot during action sequence. EG I wrote something like:

'John runs to crane for cover. Ship pitches sharply. He nearly loses balance.'

CRANE

John squats low. Peers around. Bullets hit crane.

SHIPPING CONTAINER

Soldier ducks back behind container. Reloads.

I didn't write EXT-CRANE-DAY or EXT. SHIPS DECK - DAY and the write a line describing crane.

I find in action scenes, especially useful in helping set pace and tone. especially with multiple settings in a scene or sequence such as cranes, shipping container, life boat etc in my case of a ship deck.

Master scene headings and secondary headings are perfectly fine to use.

The Screenwriter Bible also says it is OK.

Read up on using a Montage.

exactly Dan. And Kay, I'm not saying anyone is right or wrong. Steven asked about sluglines in his context and I just provided what I do as I feel it reads easier and is acceptable. Your way works too and perfectly acceptable as well.

Steve - I'd probs just add that if the character changes floors then use a new slug line and description and make every floor a little different from the other in its description. But while contained on that floor you could use a sub-heading. - HALL, WORKERS KITCHEN<,PHOTOCOPY ROOM etc. But there may be times within this (especially if time passes) where a new slug line is needed.

Good luck with it though. contained writing is fun but hard at times.

Okay so can we do this? I'm just creating a scene to get an idea on how to format. I don't think I need to write "Int. Christine's house - kitchen - continuous??

Int. Christine's Home - Day

She enters through the front door and makes her way through the living room and enters the:

KITCHEN

She pours herself a cup of coffee then sits at the kitchen table and reads the paper. She hears a noise. She stands up and walks into the:

MASTER BEDROOM

Christine, yes that's how I'd write it. And if you need to give some detail/scene setting specific to the script you still can.

MASTER BEDROOM

spacious, tidy. Curtain blowing from open window.

She quickly dials 911 on her mobile.

or you could do.

MASTER BEDROOM

She walks in. Examines room.

ON WINDOW

it's open. curtain blowing in wind

Though there are big 'F' (format rules) to follow and are unbreakable, there are some small 'f' one where you need to do what you think is best and we all have different views and ideas about some of these small 'f' things. And even what are some small 'f' things exactly.

But as long as reader can clearly understand what is going on and it makes sense then I personally think sub headings are ok when used correctly in the correct context or scene.

Hi Pete, this was just a general example. It's not what I've written in a script. I just wanted to get an idea plus I would never use my name : ) But I understand what you're saying. Thanks for this!

All good Christine. Good luck with the writing.

With all due respect, Kay, your example is nothing like what is being discussed. Using secondary headings is not “amateurish,” it's yet another choice.

I didn't mean to start an argument with my question. I sent an email to David Trottier asking him which is the preferred method or if it made any difference. He usually is great to answer simple questions. When and if I hear something, I'll comment again. Thanks, everyone.

No worries, Steven. It’s all good! Yes, David Trottier would know. Lol! ;) If you don’t have a copy of Trottier’s The Screenwriter’s Bible do get one. It’s a great reference book, certainly for any formatting questions you might have. In the book, he explains secondary headings, how to use them effectively, etc. They work well. ;) Best to you!

I do have the sixth edition of the book, and the way I would like to do my headings is one of the ways he suggested doing it. Thank you, Beth. Have you read Save the Cat Writes a Novel. It's a great resource for screenwriters too as you might guess. I found that it gave me a lot more detail on ways that Save the Cat might be used.

Thanks, Steven. I read the Save the Cat book for screenwriting years ago, but... it wasn’t for me. Therefore I have not read any of the other books in the series. Others have enjoyed them, so I am told. ;)

I don't follow the structure like a map, but this book has done a good job for me in expanding some of the concepts. It's really good.

The Screenwriters Bible is the best investment I've ever made. Between that and Stage 32 I've never needed another reference book so far.

I use it too. You are absolutely right. Dave Trottier, the author, will often answer questions that you ask also. I've emailed him a couple of times and he has responded to me.

I recently took his 'Revise Your Script' course. Yes, he's prompt and helpful.

My take is that hall, lounge, kitchen should all be different scenes. The reason is that when it comes to doing the schedule. You are likely to want to shoot all the shots in one particular room one after the other. And not repeatedly move back and forth between rooms. There are of course exceptions to this for instance to help with continuity issues, or because the movement from one room to the other is taken in one shot e.g. steady cam or a track through the wall. As a line producer I usually like to start by grouping locations together as the starting point to scheduling.

Dave Trottier responded to my email. I thought I posted it here. Did it not show up? I didn't want to post it again, but I don't see it here.

You're both right. I'll explain. :-)

There are many people who abide by the shooting script convention of complete scene headings for every scene, even in a spec script. That's mostly because that's what you do to prepare a script for a shoot. And it is perfectly correct to format a scene as follows both in a shooting script and in a spec script:

INT. HOUSE - DAY

Description

INT. HALLWAY

Description

INT. BEDROOM

Yes, you could add DAY or CONTINUOUS at the end of those last two scene headings. I didn't because both of those extensions are already obvious. We already know it's DAY and we can see each scene is CONTINUOUS, but you could add either DAY or CONTINUOUS at the end.

It's also perfectly okay to format a spec script as follows with secondary scene headings. Even William Goldman used occasional secondary scene headings in his scripts. Here is that convention:

INT. HOUSE - DAY

Description

HALLWAY

Description

BEDROOM

When the above is converted into a shooting script, they will make the necessary changes. The idea is to make the read flow a little better. And as you say, Steve, it is one continuous scene. It's a great way to break up long action scenes.

Anyway, you can't go wrong on this one. I hasten to add that some companies insist on one format or the other. There can be a variety of reasons for that, which I won't go into here. You as a screenwriter just go with the flow.

Feel free to share this in full if you wish.

Keep writing!

Dave

Okay, there it is.

Lets see who argues against it!!!!

KISS! I would use AT TREE as the sub and my action line would tell us where the character is in relation to the tree i.e. Sam, (under, in, by) the tree...

The usual suspect always seems to cause so much confusion. A shooting script vs. a screenplay. When producing commercials or films, shooting scripts get camera angles and slugs for EACH locale, for obvious reasons. When writing screenplays, a locale within the same location needs only a sub or secondary heading. So both Dan and Kay are right, they're just not talking about the same type of script. One is for technicians the other is for readers.

Thanks for posting David Trottier's reply, Steven, much appreciated, which states: "It's also perfectly okay to format a spec script as follows with secondary scene headings. Even William Goldman used occasional secondary scene headings in his scripts." Yup.

Just a thought...

Somewhere along the way I read something that stuck with me. I'd credit the writer, but I can't remember who said it. The gist of it was "remember, everything is a writing sample." I would also add "and a character description". :) Fair or unfair, as writers we are judged by the quality of everything we type. And in today's world, everything we post in public stands as a legacy to our character. Which is why we should be careful to listen before assuming, and mindful that communication is an open exchange of ideas, and not a means to prove we are "right" above all, or at all costs. Sometimes there is a "right way" and sometimes there is just a preference. :)

Pretty amazing what you'll find in screenplays from writers who say 'never'.

It's amazing and extremely funny how irate creatives get with each other.

Like I say extremely funny.

Dan, here's an updated pix for your new classification.

where's my popcorn...

Can't we all just get along? Geez, I'm sorry I asked.

Darlenne, do you have anything more to add to the topic of this thread? If not, then let’s please move on. No need to pick fights, name call, or belittle other members.

Steven, again, it’s all good! Thank you for posting! Asking questions, discussing topics, sharing insights and information is what the craft and business forums are all about. So please feel free to post. ;)

Awh geeze, it was just getting good too. I like good ol' down & dirty mud wrashallin' contests.

I thoroughly enjoyed it.