Screenwriting : Character introduction. by Andy Celis

That is wrong and confusing.You introduce a character in ALL CAPS when they first appear on film. That isn’t always the first time their name appears in a screenplay. If you do it the way you said in your example it would show up as two different characters so someone would have to fix it if it went into development.

I hate the answer I am about to give, ‘it depends’.

I would only keep the character’s identity secret if it is required to keep the reader (audience) guessing. If you want them to have the discovery at the same time as the character. If that is the case. Then use whatever you want to describe them.

In the distance there is a TALL MAN just staring at her. She turns to face him and the Tall Man runs off. (50 pages later). Through the crowd the Tall Man appears. He walks straight up her.

TALL MAN

I am your father.

HER

What shall I call you?

TALL MAN

Gordon is fine.

From then on I would refer to him as GORDON.

I think a reader would be smart enough to follow that.

As long as it is clear when you read it. My script AMY has a bit of a confusing opening scene. I know how it would look. But hard to explain. I know that opening scene has tripped up several people.

Your Actors need to know who they are reading. Remember, the audience does not read the script.

It can be done well. It depends on the context and what effect you are trying to create, an effect that may elevate the action or add to the desired tone or create an emotion. Look for examples in films and see how it was handled on the page. See how it is used and implemented with story purpose.

In the script MUD, Mud is first A MAN when he appears then his character name is introduced. His slow entrance with descriptive tidbits given along the way helps to create a sense of unease in the other characters when they first encounter him. Mud's intro is one of the best character intros in my opinion.

Snippet from the script:

Neckbone turns and freezes. A MAN has appeared in the distance behind Ellis. He stands between the boys and their boat.

Ellis notices the look on Neckbone's face and turns. He flinches at the sight of the Man.

MUD(38) stands near the boys' boat holding a pink, child's fishing pole with cartoon characters on it. He stares back at them and casts his fishing line into the water.

NECKBONE

Shit. You know that guy?

ELLIS

I've never seen him before.

NECKBONE

Shit.

Mud, not taking his eyes off the boys, slowly reels in his line. His hair is a wild mop that leads to two weeks of growth on his face.

With a cigarette clinched, he cracks a smile revealing a MISSING CANINE. He holds a hand in the air as if to wave.

NECKBONE

Shit.

Neckbone slowly raises his hand up to wave back. Mud wears jeans and cowboy boots. His filthy button-up shirt looks like it hasn't left his body in years.

He breaks his stare with the boys. Continuing to reel in his line, he walks over to them.

MUD

What you say?

The boys don't respond. Mud walks past them and casts again.

MUD

Helluva thing.

ELLIS

What's that?

Mud takes the cigarette from his mouth. A tattoo of a snake's head covers the top of his right hand. Two large cotton blossoms spill out of its jaws.

MUD

Boat in the trees. It's a helluva thing.

Mud continues walking down the shoreline, reeling in his bait. The boys follow, tentatively.

Anyway, Mud's "intro" goes on for a few more pages. It's a great script to study, written by Jeff Nichols. Hope that helps!

Oh, another script to study as an example of different kinds of intros, late or drawn out through action, is HELL OR HIGH WATER. In it, two brothers are first, from the script:

TWO SILHOUETTES. MEN. Hard to say who for two reasons: the morning sun through the glass door and the ski masks pulled over their faces.

Then, they are ROBBER and ROBBER 2 for a few pages...

Then... after the robbery when their masks are gone and they are driving away their character intros:

INT. 1988 CHEVY CAMARO -- DAY.

A burnt field, charred and smoking, whizzes by as the engine whines. We see two men:

TOBY HANSON, late 30’s, a kind face marked by years of sun and disappointment, rides shotgun. It’s not the face of a thief, it is the face of a farmer.

Behind the wheel is TANNER HANSON, 40, his brother’s opposite in every way: mustache, shaggy hair, an air of danger that attracts as many women as it repels.

He lights a smoke as Toby wipes sweat from his brow.

Tanner grins from ear to ear.

TANNER

Just like the army. Doin’ more before nine a.m. than most folks do all goddam day.

Toby looks straight ahead. They ride in silence for a moment. Then Tanner explodes --

TANNER

WHOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOHOOHOO!!!!!

He pounds the dash. Toby waits for the storm to pass. It does. Silence again.

TOBY

You need to go a little easier on the tellers.

TANNER

I go as easy on them as they go on me.

Anyhoo, again, this kind of character intro works extremely well for this specific script/film because of its specific context: two brothers who are robbing banks. We get to see them, first, through action, by what they are doing like their victims, then we get to know them and understand why they are doing it.

Both scripts' pdfs for MUD and HELL OR HIGH WATER can easily be found in a Google search. Again, hope that helps. Best to you!

I name them, but indicate if they are not recognizable in the sequence. The reader has to be able to follow what is going on.

You could try giving a couple of sentences of description (physical look, personality, maybe some hints about their past) before doing their name. For instance, with the example you had:

"He strolls into the room with the walk of a professional athlete, with bulging muscles to match. Having a mullet of fire orange hair and a handlebar mustache, he looks like Yosemite Sam on steroids. His steely eyes scan the room. Just from his don't-fuck-with-me gaze, he's seen enough Hells where nothing you do can ever scare him. Nothing. Ever.

He is Jack Bishop, the only person on Earth you never want to see looking for you."

And even then, depending on what kind of story it is, you can play with that. If you're doing a comedy, you could try giving a him an awkward name like Urkel Francois. Or even have something funny happen that ruins his thunderous introduction.

Hopefully this was helpful.

If someone wants to introduce a charter twice they better hope the person doing the breakdown is aware so they only have to hire one actor for the role. Most screenwriters here seem to only think that their audience is going to be the reader but hopefully it will go into development and you don't want to make things harder for those people that have to work on the project.

Unless there is a reason for hiding the character's name at that point in the story, and it needs to be a plot-based reason, I would strongly recommend using the character name rather than introducing them as a character trait and then introducing them again at a later stage.

Craig D Griffiths That is an incredibly helpful example. Thank you!

Christiane Lange Could you explain how you do that? If it´s not too much to ask.

Beth Fox Heisinger Those were the exact examples I was looking for. Thank you so, so much!

Doug Nelson Such a simple comment yet so incredibly helpful. Thank you!

Tony Ray It did! Thank you so much!

There is no reason WHATSOEVER to include the character's name (it might even generate tension or conflict on the script if that's what's you are going for.) as long as the reader understands this. I am attaching a sample that illustrates how. Hope it helps.

In Breaking Bad S1 E1, Walt is referred to as UNDERPANTS MAN in the teaser, until he speaks into the recorder to introduce himself, and thereafter he's Walt.

If necessary, I simply insert "who is not recognizable" after the character's name. In other situations, a description of the clothing or setting will indicate that the audience can't recognize the character.