Hi all. I received truly helpful First 10 Pages feedback on my new pilot from Stage 32 industry pro Regina Lee. I'm a playwright/screenwriter (new to pilots), so this gave me a better insight into how industry execs really evaluate pilots when they read them. I hope my takeaways are useful:
First, write your first 10 pages in a way that an exec can actually imagine your pilot as a show.
TV execs have read all the great pilot scripts - from Grey’s Anatomy to Breaking Bad - so, on some level, your work is being compared to those standouts. Now that doesn’t mean execs are consciously thinking ‘is this the next Lost or Homeland?’ Rather, they are looking for pilots that hit the right notes and “feel” like a show. Finding such scripts is part their DNA, so to speak, so you need to convince them your pilot meets that bar. In the first 10 pages.
What does this mean in applied terms? 1.) Write with razor sharp clarity. 2.) Introduce multiple sources of tension / conflict. 3.) Don’t introduce seemingly important elements that have no further significance in the first 10 pages.
On writing with clarity, don’t leave anything to chance. Don’t assume an exec knows what you’re trying to convey. Show her/him precisely what you mean. Everything your character does, and everything that happens to her, should be crystal in the exec’s mind. No mystery. No questions. You have 10 pages (max) to hook an exec. Maybe less. Write with clarity.
Sources of tension/conflict should be used early and often. This is not a contrived argument between characters. Rather, it’s the internal doubts, anxiety, and other “baggage” your character brings with her to the pilot. It could also be a relationship with another character that affects your protag in a substantial way. In the Grey’s Anatomy pilot, Meredith has three sources of conflict in the first five pages alone: she is starting a new job as an intern at Grace Mercy West; she’s unsure if she can measure up to her mom, a renowned surgeon; and she unwittingly sleeps with Derek, her soon-to-be boss. Internal and external conflicts abound - and even more are piled on later - and they affect Meredith, her relationships, and her decisions moving forward.
If you feature an event or situation early in your pilot, the expectation is it’s integral to your protag’s story. If it doesn’t come up again in the first 10 pages, and an exec stops reading, it becomes just a loose end. Don’t assume an exec will read on past 10. Make sure everything you introduce in those pages is significant. Keep it tight.
I hope this adds value for some pilot writers.
Best of luck!
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Thanks for your input @Thomas, excellent points. Interestingly two pilots you mentioned Grey’s Anatomy and Breaking Bad had differing premise types yet were equally outstanding. Breaking Bad we were dropped straight into the world of protagonist with a puzzle as to why is this nutter driving in such strange way (some say switches to antagonist meth cooking scenes) and audience were keen to find out how the heck a man like Walt ever got to be that way. Whereas Grey’s Anatomy was a premise pilot starting in linear fashion where reason for everything happening was in chronological order. Interestingly Grey’s Anatomy was pitched as “Sex In The Surgery”. Particularly with continuous serialised streams execs want to know “Does this show have legs”.
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Super cool of you to share what you learned! Thank you.
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Barry John Terblanche is not wrong. In a recent class I took, Jay & Raquelle's TV Development Class, one of the takeaways was that the show bible was the key document. Pilots almost never got a read during the pitching of a new series.
Check out Jay Glazer's and Raquelle David's credits - they are experienced, working pros in the TV space.
However, as they both pointed out, if a writer pitches a show that actually moves forward, the next crucial document IS the pilot. There is a chance that writer will be asked to write it; then everything that Thomas Jamieson says that Regina Lee (who is another actual working pro) expressed in her notes is ABSOLUTELY correct.
The pilot should hit HARD and FAST, with quick character dev, lots of set-ups, multiple conflicts and a story engine that points to subsequent episodes. The pilot SHOULD NOT delve into character backstories or extensive worldbuilding.
The pilot MUST hook readers quickly; not only does it articulate the concepts and throughlines of the story, but it also serves as a sample of the writer's skill and will determine his/her level of creative involvement moving forward.
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Go for it Thomas. Keep writing, keep pitching, and learn to avoid the negatives.
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Thanks for sharing
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Thanks all. I hope it's helpful when you write your pilots. I found it really useful. And any disagreement here is fine. We all have our own perspective, and I think the important thing is we all keep writing, learning, and improving. Cheers!
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Barry John Terblanche The story needs to get going pronto. You can't hook anyone with what is essentially a prologue, the way you are describing it. Of course you have to acquaint the viewer/reader with the characters as well, but through the action.
That said, there is also a difference between a procedural and a serial (and between network and streamer, cause commercials). With a procedural, you introduce a cast, and then they do a different variation on their dance in each episode. With a serial, whether limited or ongoing, the arc will develop over a season, so the story can be more complicated and the characters can move further from the starting point. Either way, they had better be dancing from the start :)
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The opening in Queen's Gambit is masterful in this regard. We have no clue what is happening really, but in the first 3 minutes we realize that the character is in Paris, that she has some psych issues, parties too much, picks up random sex partners, and is a famous chess genius. And we "realize," we aren't "told."
Christiane Lange. Queen's Gambit is sooo good. I just started watching it, and I was hooked in just the opening frames with what I was being "shown." I'm looking forward to the next episodes. I also finally got around to Broadchurch, and while different from Queens..., it had me hooked straight away, and it never let up throughout the pilot.
Thomas Jamieson Yep, also check out Godless, by the same guy, Scott Frank, who did Queen's Gambit. One of the things I particularly liked in Godless is that he manages to have a whole gang of badass women basically lead the story, but in a way that makes total sense, in spite of the time and place of the setting.
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Christiane Lange Great. That one is one my list, so looking forward to it once I get through the others. Just got caught up on Better Call Saul as well, which is really quite good.