My fellow filmmakers,
What do you think of this logline? It's a bit longer but it is my eight version of the same.
TITLE: SIX DAYS
GENRE: paranormal/ true story
SCRIPT LENGTH: 92 pgs.
On the tenth anniversary of his father's death, a grieving son uses a Ouija board to contact his father,but accidentally evokes Lucifer and asks him instead for liberation from remorse. But, there is a price.
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It should be 'invokes' instead of 'evokes'.
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Why is it called "Six Days"? Perhaps you can somehow explain that in the logline. It seems to imply that the son has to do something in the next six days or he has a deadline of six days for something.
What is special about tenth anniversary of death. That seems like a long time. What is the threat?
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Logline is a little confusing after "contact his father." It also doesn't explain the film title. I've always used Studio Binder to help me with the wording to make sure I include the info in the longline to pull people in. https://www.studiobinder.com/blog/what-is-a-logline/ Good luck with the longline and the film. Sounds like it's going to be a great film!
Give as much info as you can, but remove unimportant info. Questions to ask yourself: is the 10th anniversary really important. Accidentally is an act of randomness, perhaps the term "fatefully" would be better choice (as the devil might not do things unplanned), Oujia board is such a feeble way to contact a loved one... it's a parlor game that is overused, SO indicating why the game is important, example: "cherished pastime for him and his late father, [THE CHARACTERS NAME] once again uses the Oujia board on the anniversary of his death with unintended consequences..." Why does Luicifer care about this guys soul? Where in the world does this guy live? What time of year is it? What does the main character do for a living? If you can pack all this in two sentences, you'll be gold.
Oh dear. One by one :) It is 1996 (the beginning) to 2006 when all the torture happened).
The very first version of the logline had an explanation about the title itself. Until the tenth anniversary, a man acted relatively normal. About a year prior that, he began to drink and to use some drugs. That's when he performed the ritual with the OUIJA board. Why SIX DAYS? Because the time between invoking and the movie final lasts six days six hours and six minutes. (it is Lucifer's game- in that period of time, the main character must destroy everything around him, and to kill his brother and mother.) The main character does not cherish a relationship with his father but feels guilty and feels a remorse because of his father's death. He is an alcoholic, he does not do anything. And even when he finds some seasoned job he spends all the money in the bar or at home; drinking.
In real life he lives at the place for homeless people, here in Serbia. I really do hope he does not drink and execute stupid things anymore. In the script, I changed the location to Seattle.
That man is my brother. I was a part of that torture that lasted a way longer than I told it in the screenplay :(
One of the previous loglines:
After his father's death, the grieving man full of remorse performs an occult ritual and invokes Lucifer, and therefore must endure the unforgivable temptations for SIX days, SIX hours and SIX minutes.
Wow are you saying this is a True Story? If so, you should mention somewhere, "based on real events..." (I suppose it is in the Genre section)
@Nathan Yeah. It was all truth. except Lucifer's appearance. My brother was under some other evil influence. In a sect or some occult group of people from, I think, 1998- God knows when it ended. That was an inciting incident for him to act and do all the gross stuff he did. And I thought to myself back in 2010 when I wrote the version of this story for the first time; If he had already destroyed our life, memories and our father's house; I can be "bad" too and write about it. At least, maybe, someday, I would be able to buy another home for me and my mother.
Yes, it says : paranormal/ true story
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Estrella Tamez You could see this movie as a combination of Hereditary and the potential prequel to the Amityville Horror ( only without the massive murders at the end). As you can see I am still alive and my mother too. And that bastard of my brother is alive. Only my father is gone.
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Fascinating plot, from an actor's point of view this is a very compelling piece. I'd love to lear more.
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@Anthony Thank you :)