I had a telephone pitch last week and it went well. However, the producer said my show competed with one already in development and so he passed. He offered the following comment and I'd appreciate anyone's feedback on how to deliver on his points: "I did feel like I didn't know much about the narrative beats beyond the overall concept. Think there is absolutely something interesting to the story, but not sure that I learned enough from the pitch."
I have a 31-page bible to show him, not a script. Plans for 12-one hour episodes for one season, could be expandable.
My show is about a real person, deceased, and covers decades of events and numerous character plot points. The protagonist, Joseph Conforte (owner of the infamous Mustang Ranch brothel), has a long-running game with law enforcement that underpins his inner struggle for acceptance by society--because he's a glorified pimp in a business suit, and an habitual criminal who's behind a corrupt network of politicians, judges, and members of law enforcement. The Mafia tries to take him out. He bribes and cajoles his way to success and Nevada passes the legal brothel law in 1971. Conforte achieves instant fame as a result of owning the first legal brothel, called Mustang Bridge Ranch. Mustang Ranch opened in 1976. His crimes escalate and he helps the Feds take down a federal judge. Conforte's life is a never-ending tale of lust, greed, and betrayal. Sexy ladies, celebrities, professional boxers... So much fodder for the viewer.
So what does the producer need to know? How do I develop the "narrative beats"?
