Screenwriting : New LogLine - ALONE... by Mark Palmer

Mark Palmer

New LogLine - ALONE...

Hey fellow story tellers and dream weavers...

I was out on a long walk with the doggo's this afternoon, the sun was shining (yes we do get sun occasionally here in the UK) when an idea for a screenplay struck.

I always carry my phone - not to check Facebook or Instagram likes but the voice memo and notes function are a lifesaver...and I quickly made the notes. Got home and have been sitting behind my laptop typing away furiously. Making more notes...solidifying the idea and working on the logline and brief synopsis.

The title is "ALONE" because that was the feeling I felt both my lead characters would be feeling, but it's a working title.

I will actively begin writing the screenplay in the morning...

LOGLINE:

A single-handed solo yachtsman, in the toughest ocean race known to man, displays incredible courage and sportsmanship by turning his yacht around and embarks on a “needle in a haystack” search for his former student, now greatest rival’s slowly sinking yacht, in the freezing, dangerous, iceberg ridden waters of the Southern Ocean.

Hope you like it. I do.

Here's the link to the synopsis: https://www.stage32.com/profile/838582/Screenplay/ALONE-Working-Title

Have a great week ahead everyone.

Mark

Eric Christopherson

Reminds me a bit of All is Lost. I'd tighten the logline a bit, e.g., "A solo yachtsman in the toughest ocean race known to man turns his yacht around and embarks on a “needle in a haystack” search for his greatest rival’s slowly sinking yacht in freezing, dangerous, iceberg ridden waters."

David Edwards

Love it when an Idea just comes to you in day to day life. Synopsis looks good and by sounds of it you've got some really interesting characters to explore

Mike Romoth

I agree with Eric above...the logline needs to be more concise.

"In the middle of the world's toughest ocean race, a solo yachtsman risks everything to search for his greatest rival's sinking vessel in the iceberg-ridden waters of the Southern Ocean."

Good luck with the writing and keep us up to date. Sounds like a thrilling adventure. Another possible way of writing the logline in more of the "conventional logline format":

"When SAILOR receives a distress signal in the middle of the world's toughest solo ocean race, he risks everything to turn around and search the iceberg-ridden waters for the sinking vessel of his greatest rival."

Dan MaxXx

I peeked at synopsis and it’s not a synopsis but more of a general summary. Is that enough planning to write 90-120 pages of compelling drama? Dunno. Everyone has their own process. Good Luck. Been a while since Ive seen a survival movie set in the ocean.

Val Chernyavskiy

Man versus nature is a strong concept. You can tie up conflicts with the weather, with hungry sharks, calmness, food supplies are running out. The main thing is to keep the dynamics, problem after problem. In the inner world, you also need to come up with an interesting acrka for the main character. The story will be very good. You are well done!

Mark Palmer

Thanks for all the amazing and supportive comments and suggestions. The Logline I posted and my “synopsis” was more of a brain dump - get it out & having those extra eyes and brains is so brilliant. Such early days yet…but I’m already feeling the chill of the Southern Oceans waters on my skin!!!

Harry Kakatsakis

I like that. I especially like the whole needing to rescue his rival thing.

Debbie Croysdale

Agree @Mike logline idea, succinct. @Mark I like the idea of main nemesis being Nature. There could be sub plots off course where it's man VERSES man or man SAVES man depending on the behavior of other characters in the race. The action of main character turning around in turbulent sea speaks volumes about him, be interesting to see how others in the race take action/or not.

Erik A. Jacobson

Use single-handed or solo, you don't need both.

Erik A. Jacobson

Use either single-handed or solo, not both. You might check out Robert Redford's recent "All is lost" boat movie. It contains only 51 words of spoken English.

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