Screenwriting : Quick formatting question by Kirk Sanders

Yes. You can do basically a narration instead of a V.O because if you put VO. then you have to put character name or describe them. If you trying to do some kind of narration without revealing who the character is.

I think you can, Kirk Sanders. You could add action description that tells the boy and the man are the same (if you think the reader needs to know). Or the boy can say a phrase that the man still says. Or you could give the boy something (an item) that the man still has. These two options would show the reader that the man is the boy thirty years later.

Sounds to me like you're opening with a 'flashback'. The action is shot through the young character's pov; but that character is never seen. The VO dialog is the adult - the actor & reader need to be informed/grounded. The adult character can be revealed whenever he visually shows up.

I happen to be of the stance that says avoid any confusion. You should really introduce A YOUNG BOY as just YOUNG (CHARACTER NAME) and write the older character's name in your first V.O as just (CHARACTER NAME V.O). A V.O in essence is a narration.

My rule of thumb is always clarity should be paramount. You don't want to confuse the reader. To that end I must ask the question, why don't you want to reveal the character's name?

It's a challenge because I'd prefer that the reader not know it's him until later when it's revealed in ACT TWO.

I understand that. But why don't you want it revealed?

Hmm, readers do not like guessing or have to go back and re-read to make sure they understand what the script is trying to achieve! I did that in a few scripts and different readers all gave the same feedback. If you're going to do it that way, then have the older version INTRODUCE himself as the younger version in dialogue.

I'm in the camp of - does it make sense and is it understandable? Ironically, I have a script where the opening scene is from the opening of a script that one of the two leads wrote and the other lead is cast in. Did that make any sense? Oh, and I use YOUNG MAN but no words, just suicide. Good luck!

I remember I saw this in a film a while ago, I cant remember which film either David Lean or if it was another director. But it has worked.

Kirk Sanders Of course you can, but who are you keeping that information from? The audience - they don't see the script. The producer reading the script - why?

All good points. The script is mystery/horror. I'm aiming to see if I can give the reader the audience experience.

Kirk Sanders Well that's possibly useful in a "sales" script. But don't forget that a real producer who is looking at it seriously is also doing production breakdowns in her/his head while reading it. A lot of scripts I see coming in lately are really short stories written in a script format and as such are nothing that can be used in production without serious rewriting... which is a shot-in-the-foot moment for a writer with an otherwise good idea. In other words, use such things carefully in your scripts and don't go overboard.

I truly appreciate the advice. I'm going to keep it clear and go with YOUNG (CHARACTER NAME) and later (CHARACTER NAME) as the risk of confusion is just not worth it.

The main key, Kirk. I just writing the script, after that. You can edit.

It’s also important to remember that a reader is not a movie audience and vice versa. It is your job as the screenwriter to write for the reader. It is NOT the job of the screenwriter to make the movie for an audience. That is the job of several hundred people

Point taken, David and it's a good one. That said, I am directing the film as well.

Yes, you would just name him something like MAN IN HIS THIRTIES (V.O.) and then when you visually introduce the character (ADULT JOE SMITH, or whatever), you can just add “The voice from the opening scene” or something. Assuming this is an important plot twist. If it’s not, then I’d say just introduce the character by name immediately with the VO.