Screenwriting : Pitching by Angavu Grace

Hey, Angavu Grace.

"What's the best "subject" to put in an email" This is one of the subject lines that I use: "Escape the House" - Horror/Comedy Script Pitch - _______________ (the name of the site where I found the script lead at, or the person who referred me).

You can also use a catchy subject line. A catchy subject line for ESCAPE THE HOUSE might be: The House is ALIVE! - "Escape the House" - Horror/Comedy Script Pitch

You can write a query letter different ways.

I always start a query letter with "Hi, _________,"

Then I let the person (executive, director, producer, etc.) know why I'm emailing.

After that, I mention the logline. Some script leads tell you that the producers, companies, etc. only accept loglines in query letters, so I exclude a synopsis.

If the script leads say the producers, companies, etc. are open to more than a logline, I include a short synopsis. Sometimes I also include what's special/unique about the script (usually just one sentence) and a small paragraph about how many characters are in the script, how many locations are in the script, etc., but I like to keep my query letters brief, so I don't always include this information.

Next, I mention that a treatment and a pitch deck are available, then I thank the person for hearing my pitch.

Sometimes I add a short bio but not always (because I like to keep my query letters brief).

I end the email with my name and contact info.

QUERY LETTER EXAMPLE:

Hi, ______,

How are you doing? My name is Maurice Vaughan. I found your post on _________________ (or I'll mention who referred me to the person that I'm emailing). I have a Horror/Comedy feature script about a living house that wants a family and a maid. It's titled "Escape the House."

Logline: After a disobedient teen and her mom move to a small town, the family and a neighbor try to escape from a living house that wants a daughter, wife, and live-in maid.

Picture “Monster House” as a low-budget, live-action movie.

Short Synopsis: A disobedient teenager named Julie and her mom, Andrea, move into a small-town house that’s alive. Knowing it’s alive, their new neighbor, Harriet, tells them they need to move out. The house introduces itself as Hank and says it wants Andrea and Julie to be its family; to replace its wife and daughter who died. They say no, so it locks them inside and says they’re not leaving. It tells Harriet she will be the family’s maid. Julie, Andrea, and Harriet try to escape, but the house prevents them from getting out.

The full synopsis is in the treatment and pitch deck. Thanks for hearing my pitch.

Maurice Vaughan

Contact Info

WOW THANK YOU SO MUCH BRO!!!

You're welcome, Angavu Grace. What script are you working on or pitching?

Maurice Vaughan Great example!

Thanks, Teleah Moore. My query letter template went through A LOT of rewrites. :)

@maurice I want to pitch this Sci Fi/Fantasy I've been working on

Just make sure guys are (really) open to unsolicited materials...otherwise nothing works...

Curious what some of you think: include a link to a pitch deck in the query? Or no? Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. I'm about to send out another "wave," and I can't decide if I should include the link or not. Thoughts?

Cool, Angavu Grace. Sci-Fi and Fantasy are two of my top genres to write. Let me know if you need any tips on the genres.

"Curious what some of you think: include a link to a pitch deck in the query?" I like that idea, Joleene DesRosiers. That reminds me of ScriptHop.

Great questions, and thank you Maurice for giving such a specific example! Really appreciate hearing what works for you!

You're welcome, GiGi. I signed up for Audrey Knox's query letter webinar (https://www.stage32.com/webinars/How-To-Write-A-Query-Letter-That-Gets-Y...). I'm always looking for ways to improve my query letters.

Hey Crisco, My team and I would love to learn more about what you are writing and point you to all the resources we have to offer on Stage 32. Shoot me an email at success@stage32.com and let me know a little more about your scripts and your goals! Always happy to help.

Thanks for asking, Marty Howe.

The family and neighbor can't leave through the front door, because the house locks it. The mom and daughter try to break down the front door and back door, but they're special steel security doors. The windows are top-of-the-line reinforced glass. They can be broken, but it takes a long time to break them, and the house doesn't give them enough time to do that. The house is the first owner/architect who built the house. He installed the special doors and windows for his family's safety (before they died).

The daughter (because she's disobedient) breaks her own phone before the house traps them inside. The house breaks the mom and neighbor's phones so they can't make calls. Before the house breaks the mom and neighbor's phones, the mom calls 911, but the house tricks the operator.

The family just moved into the house, so they don't know anyone in town yet who would come visit them. The house is also secluded.

The family and neighbor don't start a fire to burn down the house, because they'd be trapped inside with the fire. The house does burn down later, but it's the house's fault.

Marty, why didn’t the family in “the quiet place” just live under the waterfall?

Hi Marty, I was pointing out that sometimes stories have plot holes.

Here is an entire video that may help you understand. I don’t want to bore people that already have understanding that films can still be coherent and compelling, while ignoring obvious solutions.

https://youtu.be/z7VnIne-d9U

I was also drawing attention, by means of comparison, that you were questioning the logic in Maurice’s example. Which was create to display form and substance of the pitch. It was not (as far as I am aware) a pitch that Maurice would be sending out.

If a producer found Maurice’s pitch compelling having questions such as yours would (perhaps) initiate a conversation, which is the aim of the pitch. This (type of) conversation is the start of the sales process. This is why salespeople start with”Hi, how are you”. They don’t care, they want to initiate communication.

I remember your video on how to find and fix plot holes, Craig. I recommend it.