I just heard my feature screenplay won a minor award (woop - this is a first for me) but I need to supply a logline. Can I ask members to comment on which of these they prefer - if any (or even suggest improvements if you're up for it)?
The screenplay is "Back To Bolton". My logline options are:
1. "A daughter's search for a long-lost brother unearths a family's hidden past, revealing unexpected truths about love and loss."
2. "When a mother's secret is exposed, two sisters embark on a quest for the truth, unearthing buried memories and long-forgotten wounds."
3. “When her elderly mother reveals she has a son from a casual relationship long ago, Julie becomes fixated on tracing him, confronting and eventually coming to terms with her own painful past.”
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I'd say 2 is your strongest. :)
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Congratulations on your script winning an award, and congratulations on your first award, Steve Mallinson!!!
Logline 2. It has the inciting incident, protagonist (I'm guessing the sisters are both the protagonist), story goal, the stakes (learning the truth -- I think), and "unearthing buried memories and long-forgotten wounds" is my favorite part (it gives the logline flair).
The only suggestion I have is add the obstacles (during the quest) if you can.
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Thank you Dustin and Maurice. I know this could be an endless task, but how about this:
"When their elderly mother reveals a shocking secret, two sisters embark on a quest for the truth, and despite family opposition, end up unearthing buried memories and long-forgotten wounds."
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You're welcome, Steve Mallinson. I like your new logline. I would remove the comma after "truth" though.
Here's another option: ""When their elderly mother reveals a shocking secret, two sisters embark on a quest for the truth, facing family opposition as the women unearth buried memories and long-forgotten wounds."