Screenwriting : Suggestions for a dialogue line.. by Victor Titimas

Victor Titimas

Suggestions for a dialogue line..

Hi, I'm writing a story, in which there is a scene where the hero(a spy) goes to a diner, that's actually a front for enemy spies disguised as waitresses, the owner, and two other armed guys, who arrive from a backdoor.

I need a fun, clever dialogue line said by the hero(after the gunfight) to make the shaken customers more relaxed, to relieve the tension..

I wrote:"That's all for today, don't forget to like and subscribe". What do you think? Is it ok? Could you please suggest me such lines the hero might say?

Thank you for this!:)

Mike Moss

"Hope you got your orders already - the spaghetti and meatballs are to die for."

Dan MaxXx

Watch Dirty Harry. It is basically same idea as yours. Study movies and steal. (Homage). Critics, fans, and lawyers only care about produced movies. GL!

https://youtu.be/RSAyz5c3JmM

Bill Hartin

"That's our entertainment for tonight...don't forget to tip your server."

Shawn Colpitts

Hero looks to the customers and nods his head upward. "Health inspector. They failed." Hero turns and walks away.

E Langley

HERO

Well, folks, I'm at a loss for words. Have any suggestions for a pithy reaction?

Nick Waters

I second Ali's recommendations!

Wal Friman

He says "Huh, that was close for many of you", Then leaves them a visit card that he finds on the counter - Life Insurance.

Michael Elliott

How much should I tip?

Ty Strange

Hero gazes around the diner, CUSTOMERS shocked by the carnage.

HERO

Customer is always right.

Customers exhale. Hero snags a couple fries from a plate and exits.

Dan Guardino

Show's over.

Curt Samlaska

(scoffs) "What? They complained about the lunch plate special."

Other topics in Screenwriting:

register for stage 32 Register / Log In