Hi, I'm writing a story, in which there is a scene where the hero(a spy) goes to a diner, that's actually a front for enemy spies disguised as waitresses, the owner, and two other armed guys, who arrive from a backdoor.
I need a fun, clever dialogue line said by the hero(after the gunfight) to make the shaken customers more relaxed, to relieve the tension..
I wrote:"That's all for today, don't forget to like and subscribe". What do you think? Is it ok? Could you please suggest me such lines the hero might say?
Thank you for this!:)
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"Hope you got your orders already - the spaghetti and meatballs are to die for."
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Watch Dirty Harry. It is basically same idea as yours. Study movies and steal. (Homage). Critics, fans, and lawyers only care about produced movies. GL!
https://youtu.be/RSAyz5c3JmM
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"That's our entertainment for tonight...don't forget to tip your server."
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Hero looks to the customers and nods his head upward. "Health inspector. They failed." Hero turns and walks away.
HERO
Well, folks, I'm at a loss for words. Have any suggestions for a pithy reaction?
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I second Ali's recommendations!
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He says "Huh, that was close for many of you", Then leaves them a visit card that he finds on the counter - Life Insurance.
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How much should I tip?
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Hero gazes around the diner, CUSTOMERS shocked by the carnage.
HERO
Customer is always right.
Customers exhale. Hero snags a couple fries from a plate and exits.
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Show's over.
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(scoffs) "What? They complained about the lunch plate special."