As an editor, I see this one mistake daily—and it compromises the power of the action in a script (or a book).
When you change this one thing, you immediately make your descriptions and action more engaging, entertaining, and visual.
All you have to do is remove words like: begins, began, beginning, starts, started, starting, etc.
The power of a scene is in the doing—not the almosting.
The brain struggles to see what "beginning" looks like, but the mind creates a powerful visual when the action is clear and intentional.
When you're writing, one of the objectives is to create powerful visuals in the mind of your reader.
If you make their mind buffer for the visual, you run the risk of losing them and your script being tossed.
An easy, engaging read is more likely to help you reach your goals :)
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Great advice, Raven Riley.
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Maurice Vaughan thank you, my friend
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Great stuff Raven Riley Good to know you're an editor as well.
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Nice to meet you, Raven Riley , and thank you for the good advice.
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Great solid and clear advice PK! Something that can so easily be applied immediately.
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Leonardo Ramirez Thank you
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Nick Waters Great to meet you too! It's my pleasure! Happy to help
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Niki H Thank you, my friend
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@PK So true thanks for reinforcing this cos it’s easy to forget sometimes. Real life just happens and writers don’t need make a preemptive strike watering down following shock/reveal/sting/emotion that physical action shows. It could be the case action is purely thuggery but same rule applies we don’t want to know it’s coming.
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Debbie Croysdale I agree with you wholeheartedly :)
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Great advice, Raven Riley! I can't tell you the number of scripts I read back at WME that made this mistake.
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Thank you, David! It's tough when writer's first implement this strategy, but then it becomes second nature. Definitely one of the most powerful lessons I learned :)
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Great advice PK. The "almosting" goes in the re-write. The other thing I have to be wary of is "towards". That also goes in the re-write!
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Ingrid, I love this. I definitely do editing passes for these things to clean them up. I'll do another post of all the words to watch out for
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Thank you for this
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My pleasure, Taurai :)
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That’s insightful. Never thought those words could slow my descriptions down. More work to do now! A writer’s work is never done. Thanks for the tip.
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You're welcome, Greg! Happy to help :)
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You're welcome, PK.
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Spot on... deleting all -ing verbs assists a script immensely!
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Yes it does, Philip! Same with -ly and -ed words. I'm going to make another post with an exhaustive list :)
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PK, thanks so doggone much for posting this!
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Look forward to your list! Such an easy set of fixes that enhance readability sooooooooo much!
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Great advice! It's very similar to what I learned in journalism: show, don't tell.
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Yes, Marcia! Show don't tell is a whole post in itself
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Thank you, Philip! It's going to be great!
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I don't know if I 100% agree with this. I'd agree that the sort of language is overused in a passive way, sure, but having read bazillions of produced scripts, I see the 'starts and begins' quite often.
The first thing that comes to my mind is a scene in Alan Ball's American beauty, where Annette Bening's character has a breakdown. His action line:
"...with the blinds casting shadows across her face, she starts to cry: brief, staccato SOBS..."
Another example from James Ivory's Call me by your name: "Elio’s face crumples. He starts to cry."
Another example from Alejandro Iñárritu's Birdman: "his robe is caught in the door. He checks his watch again and now is beginning to panic."
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Hi, B A! I respect your perspective, but I'm not saying using these words are precluded from successful scripts. I'm saying it makes the writing stronger. In the examples you provided, these were all established screenwriters. These aren't first time screenwriters who have to prove themselves. For screenwriters looking for their big break, they need help to write the strongest script possible, and this is a solid rule of thumb that helps writers strengthen their craft. This is just one tip that can help writers elevate their writing.
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PK Mancini Well done.I completely agree with you
good luck for you
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It simply DEPENDS, as all things in life. Not talking about a complete rewrite of a sentence, here are a few examples from the feature screenplay "The Gavel" where to correct or not.
Do correct:
(1)
The jocks all turn and sees Megan hustling over. They stop heckling Howard. Start sweet talking.
(So, this looks fine... until you read the next sentence.)
JOCK #1
What's up beautiful? You look like you work out. Squats?
Conclusion: "Start sweet talking." just became redundant!
(2)
She charges a tall BARB WIRED FENCE and starts climbing. Gets to the blades and grips them, cutting her palm through her gloves. Hoists herself over the fence, doing a handstand and drops...
becomes
She charges a BARB WIRE FENCE. Gets to the blades and grips them, ...
Because the ..." gets to the blades" part we logically do not even need the climing part!
Do not correct:
(1)
SAMUEL
Now, you have to shave at the right angle If you don't, you damage the fur.
He starts the prosess, and Kathryn mimics.
(2)
In between the young woman's parked car and an other, the junckies lie knocked out. Black spray paint on their faces.
Sgt Hardy sees "GAVEL" stenciled on their foreheads.
It starts to rain. He smiles at the droplets. Black paint runs.
(You want to WITNESS that it starts to rain (and more or less) the dramatic CONSEQUENCES of it.
SGT WEECKS
Heroes.
SGT HARDY
All shapes and sizes.
-------------------------
Thanks for sharing you knowledge PK!! Lots of work to do. I start... oh, shoot!
(PS: Can you give some advice about the overuse of the word "and" ? How to avoid it.)
The writers I study and admire all write simple 5th grade level sentence grammar on the page. Minimum words, maximum impact. No idea who mentored them, or how their storytelling jumped off the pages- I'm reading something special only they can do.
This occupation is full of average writers and if you're average, I guess the advice by poster is sound.
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Rutger, I completely agree with you. This is a rule of thumb—as most writing rules are truly not black and white. And YES! I'd be happy to do a post to about the overuse of "and"/avoiding it :)
Dan, not sure where I said to use complex language or sentences.
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Hossam, thank you, my friend
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Great note. Action doesn’t just have to deliver on action, but can tell a viewer more about the person performing it, their presence and even their thoughts at that moment.
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Ewan, absolutely! Action is about the visuals being conveyed, giving us information about the characters, tone, setting, intentions, etc. Optimizing the use of every word is a superpower for writers to keep their readers engaged, especially since before the script is produced, someone has to read it :)
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PK Mancini. I 100% agree with you. It is not a rule as you stated but since the action is supposed to be immediate and in the present tense it is best to avoid words like "suddenly", "then", "begins to", and "starts to" and make the action happen without any sort of temporal qualifiers. Other words that can often be eliminated are “and” “there”, “it is”, “it's”, “to go”, “are”, “to say”, “is”, “to be” and those words ending in “ly” and “ing.”
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Dan, YES! That's exactly it! I couldn't agree more
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Writing a script is not like a writing an essay. That's what I get from this. Very insightful, PK.