I wanna run this logline by you guys. I’m planning to do my first pitch ever soon and wanted your input.
After Earth’s near destruction from climate change, a newly discover renewable energy source saves human extinction. But a green journalist soon discovers the secret behind this new source.
Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!!!
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Sounds great to me! Just saw one typo: "discovered" instead of "discover". Good luck and much success!
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The logline is written incorrectly
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Very minor suggestions Toua.
Following Earth’s near destruction from climate change, a newly discovered renewable energy source saves human extinction. But a green journalist soon discovers its deadly/fatal/flawed (or another adjective) secret (saves using 'source' twice).
Good luck.
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No goal
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The main character needs to be more prominent in the logline. What does the journalist do after he/she discovers it is deadly? What must the journalist do? What are the new stakes?
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Here's a logline suggestion, @Toua Her: "After a renewable energy source saves Earth from destruction due to climate change, a green journalist tries to/attempts to/fights to/struggles to/strives to/sets out to/fights/battles/etc. _______ (goal of story, and try to add the obstacles here) so/in order to ________ (stakes)."
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Hi Toua Her - I highly recommend WME story editor Chris Lockhart's Stage 32 webinar called "How To Make Your Logline Attractive to A-List Actors, Producers, Directors, Managers, Agents, Financiers and Development Execs". Chris is an expert in this field.
Here's a link where you can check it out and watch it on-demand: https://www.stage32.com/webinars/How-To-Make-Your-Logline-Attractive-to-...
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Just as long as the source of the new form of energy isn't Soylent Green, I think the story sounds intriguing.