Screenwriting : Pitching the drama by Bill Albert

Pitching the drama

I've been working at a written pitch for my first drama. There have been no requests yet, but the feedback has been very positive and encouraging. The two producers both commented that they felt they would like more details on the "action" of the story and how it all comes together. I had originally included the character arcs and how they all pay off and am trying to come up with a better way to explain it. In the most recent version I tried dividing them up and describe the character arcs in one point and how it all comes together in another, but it just keeps feeling repetitive.

The advantages the producers like is it's a relatively small cast of characters, all university students, happens in a single day, and during the final performance of a play so there's plenty of drama happening on and off stage,

Anyone have any experience at pitching the drama and the best way to describe it?

Mark Deuce

HAPPY NEW YEARS Bill Albert and best of luck with your amazing project.

Bill Albert

Thank you Mark. Hope you have a great 2025.

Preston Poulter

My advice would be to frame everything in terms of the conflict. Only explain the characters in terms of how they related to the conflict driving the story.

Rutger Oosterhoff

I don't always agree with Preston, but here he makes a very good point!!

Laquan Copeland

Hi there Bill,

Congrats on the positive feedback—it sounds like you’re on the right track! For pitching drama, especially one with a contained setting like yours, it can help to focus on the key conflicts and how they escalate. Maybe start with a brief overview of the play’s setup, then highlight the pivotal moments of “action” both on and off stage, showing how the drama intertwines. Framing it as a sequence of escalating events could make it feel less repetitive while keeping the tension front and center.

Good luck—it sounds like a compelling story!

Bill Albert

Thank you all for the comments. I'm doing a rewrite and refocus everything on what happens with those characters and when it happens. I think part of it is always that desire to keep so many things secret to hopefully impact the reader/viewer with a big "Aha" when certain moments happen.

I talked about this script with a career consultant here and he was very interested in what was happening. Then I added "all this comes together during the final performance of a production of Romeo and Juliet." He stopped me right there. "This has awards written all over it and this is exactly what you should do with it."

Now I need to find an agent or producer to get that excited for it.

Ewan Dunbar

Without reading it it is difficult to say. Its good that you have focused on character journey as the means to tell your story, so it could be that the drama doesn't provide enough contrast to what is happening. Maybe see the dramatic events and incidents as punctuation marks or spanners that you're throwing into the works to make these stand out.

Other topics in Screenwriting:

register for stage 32 Register / Log In