Screenwriting : Good Logline? by Donell Jones

Sorry, Donell, but that doesn't want to make me read it. Perhaps if you could tell me why practice makes perfect you'd be on a winner. Good luck my friend!

Loglines should never be rhetorical questions, they are plot and character based.

Maybe something like: "Three moronic friends struggle to devise a plan to rob a bank in NYC, enlist the help of a bumbling ex-con" ?

As Danny says, no question marks in loglines. What you have now only telegraphs that this is a bank robber story, a sub-genre that's not really on anyone's radar today. Your logline needs to give us some sense of why this would be an intriguing story -- or perhaps the basis for a wild comedy.

Strangely, I'm on a roll today. Try this one: Three friends and an ex-con attempt to rob a bank with disastrously comedic results.

I don't see the hook, the thing that makes it different and interesting. I've seen guys rob banks before. One of my favorite books, RYAN'S RULES, is about two guys who come up with 10 rules for the perfect robbery. No chance of getting caught. They keep getting away with it again and again until they decide to break a rule or two just this once... and things go south fast. The 10 rules is the hook in that novel. The guys rob a bank thing is generic, focus on the specific.

Change "does" to "doesn't" and then you have a story and a hook. And no question mark. Like this. ... but practice doesn't always make perfect.

That wasn't a question mark I put in the logline- that was me asking a question to the original poster, but maybe you didn't mean my post.

Thanks everybody for your comments & advice.