THE STAGE 32 LOGLINES
Post your loglines. Get and give feedback.
MILD MANNERED MEN
By Walter Horsting
The Rain Will Wash Away the Blood
SYNOPSIS:
My project is Mild Mannered Men, a modern film noir in the vein of North by Northwest, based on my novel in production. Mild Mannered Men are ordinary, trying to survive extraordinary danger.
Logline: The Rain Will Wash Away the Blood
John Nord, a wounded vet, gets caught up in an international conspiracy. He must find a way to rescue Laura Goodthing, his lovely fiancée now being held hostage, all because he unwittingly swapped discs with an ex-KGB freelancer. John soon discovers that the spy will stop at nothing to recover the data. John gives the wrong disc to George Camper, an encryption investor.
Happy Camper, an alluring tough funder of a China chip fabrication deal, is George Camper's sister. Whose side is she on?
Peter Holland, a handsome investigative journalist, infatuated with Happy, is digging into a cipher scandal.
Mike Murphy, an FBI agent, wants revenge from a drug cartel for his family's massacre. He Warns Peter about Happy's suspicious involvement with the technology transfer to China.
Sergei Markov, a ruthless ex-KGB agent, sold stolen chip fabrication masks to China and must recover the design disk at all costs.
Mild Mannered Men is a gripping spy adventure set in Northern California during a one-hundred-year storm. It takes you on death-defying car chases, with intrigue, murder, and tense action moments—a true homage to the spy-thriller genre.
MILD MANNERED MEN
View screenplay
Register / Log In
Rated this logline
Rated this logline
"MMM" sounds exciting, and I like the promo, Walter Horsting. What you have for a logline is a tagline. Here’s a logline template that might help:
“After ______ (the inciting incident/the event that sets the plot in motion), a _______ (an adjective and the protagonist's position/role) tries to _______ (goal of story) so/in order to ________ (stakes).”
Loglines are one or two sentences (a one-sentence logline sounds better and it takes less time for a producer, director, etc. to read it). You can add the antagonist in the logline.
The inciting incident can also be at the end of the logline: “A _______ (an adjective and the protagonist's position/role) tries to _______ (goal of story) so/in order to ________ (stakes) after ______ (the inciting incident/the event that sets the plot in motion).”
Avoid using names in a logline (unless it's a Biopic or a famous story -- like a fairy tale). Use an adjective and the protagonist's position/role instead of a name.
Avoid using “must” in loglines because “must” sounds like the protagonist is forced to do whatever the goal of the story is (instead of the protagonist doing it willingly), and “must” doesn’t sound active. Audrey Knox (a TV literary manager) also said this during a logline review webinar on Stage 32 (https://www.stage32.com/webinars/The-Write-Now-Challenge-The-Logline-Rev...). Instead of using “must,” use “attempts to,” “fights to,” “struggles to,” “strives to,” “sets out to,” “fights,” “battles,” “engages in,” “participates,” “competes,” etc.
Example #1:
“After a group of dog criminals arrives in a small town, an impulsive dog sheriff defends a dog treat factory so they won’t steal food that’s meant for hungry dog families.”
Example #2:
“A dysfunctional couple works together to survive against bears after they crash on an abandoned road miles from help.”
NOTE: Not all stories will follow this logline template. Biopics, documentaries, and Experimental scripts might not follow this template. The pilot logline and episode loglines for a TV show might not follow this template, but the series logline could.
"John Nord, a wounded vet, gets caught up in an international conspiracy. He must find a way to rescue Laura Goodthing, his lovely fiancée now being held hostage, all because he unwittingly swapped discs with an ex-KGB freelancer. John soon discovers that the spy will stop at nothing to recover the data. John gives the wrong disc to George Camper, an encryption investor." It looks like parts of your logline is in John's bio.
Rated this logline