Michael Mercker

Yeah, I've made a few videos here and there. I had aspirations of becoming a maker of great films and things for people to watch, but damn, it's hard. I like collaborating and working with other people, just not on my projects. Those are all mine, get your own. Oh, you want some help on your project, yes, let's do it. I thought working in the industry would be a way to get started, but the only thing I've learned is I now know what I don't want to do with regards to film/video/animation/etc. I never want to film or photograph another wedding...ew, gross. I don't want to film your family reunion. I don't care about what makes your business unique and why you want to show it to the world. I don't want to photograph your family while they are on vacation, I don't want to hang out and wait for your baby to make a face that isn't terrible. I don't want to make your corporation's training video, or put together a highlight reel, or film your company's rebranding celebration. I could be coaxed into filming your band if you cover at least one Zeppelin song, but honestly, I think I've got most of that out of my system as well. All I want to do is lock myself in my office for a few months and not talk to anyone. I have discovered that if I can keep my distractions to a minimum, I can engross myself in a project and produce something I can be proud of. It hasn't happened in a long time, which begs the question, "How do you know if you still got it?" Which begs the next question, "Are you sure did have it at some point in your life?" That answer is yes, I believe we all have that potential given the right circumstances in which to accomplish a task. My 'right circumstances' involve me convincing those close to me to please just leave me the fuck alone for a while. I've worked with my friend who is an accomplished artist on several animated shorts, the last of which was drawn up several years ago, now just waiting for me to animate. In three years I've only managed to animate the first few seconds. Thinking about it makes me so despondent I want to curl up in a dark closet, cover myself with every blanket and towel in the house and never come out. I take the time to sign up for networking sites such as Stage 32 and others, but not once have I been motivated enough to actually reach out to other film makers for help or advice. The services and community on sites like this are generally pretty good, but not a single one offers a tutorial on polite ways to tell your family to fuck off and give you the space you need to do the thing that makes you feel alive and whole as a person. So good luck to those of you who have the ability to focus intently on projects without selfish guilt, maybe I'll watch your film or animation someday.