I used to get paid to be funny at National Lampoon. You might remember me from such Pulitzer Prize winning bits as,
Dick Cheney's New Year's Resolutions or
Beef Consume with White Truffle Oil for the Soul: The Collective Wisdom of Barbara Bush,
or if you prefer the dick jokes,
Eighteen Magazine's Guide to the Prom.
Me and the boys are available for weddings, bachelor parties and the occasional bris.
Unique traits: I can carve a better man out of a banana