THE STAGE 32 LOGLINES

Post your loglines. Get and give feedback.

LIFE-LINE BOMBAY (SHORT ANIMATION)
By Wardaan T

GENRE: Action, Adventure, Animation
LOGLINE:

In Bombay's local train journey, we meet various personalities through their HANDS on handles, they try to find a place in a crowded local train, until the journey meets an abrupt change.

SYNOPSIS:

Life-Line Bombay is 2D short animation- fiction Film. It is about a routine train journey but with a different point of view. In this journey we see many hands traveling on local train handles. These different hands become characters and the hanging handles become their vehicle. Various personalities are identified through the characteristics of hands; the way it looks like, the way it holds the handle, moves and behaves over it. This journey depicts few funny, some dramatic and certain poignant moments. At the end it emphasizes the importance of Life-Line in Mumbai's life.

-9- This I imagined in 2D animation.

LIFE-LINE BOMBAY (SHORT ANIMATION)

Screenplay will be made available on request :-)

Wardaan T

Am I breaking the definition? Umm.. I tried to sound it like a poem. Well, I don't know if I could succeed. Thanks Oriel.

Leotien Parlevliet

If I get it right , hands are the characters in this script .but I miss the plot Very original though.

Wardaan T

Thanks Leotien, I changed a bit this Logline just now. Kindly check it once again. Thanks.

Arnaud Talaia

This one is the most confusing one to me. Since it's a shortfilm, it can focus entitely on hands, but you'd have to make it somehow clearer.

Stanley J Orzel

Clever idea, but I remain confused about the actual story. Feels more like a premise (ie. we see only hands throughout the film). Also, try to only use a word once to avoid repetition. For example, "journey" is used twice. Vary it. Maybe use "trip" first, then "journey" later. The same with "train". Or a slightly different approach might be: "Aboard a crowded train, hands of various passengers struggle with door hands to find a place to sit, until the routine journey undertakes an abrupt change."

Wardaan T

Thanks Arnaud and Stanley. I am going to change this. If you have any idea about how to create a Logline for a slice-of-life script, let me know.

Kitti Jones

Nice LogLine ..

Lana L Hughes

Interesting log line Wardan, reminds me somewhat of the John Cusack movie "Identity". If you have not watched it, it is definitely worth watching.

Wardaan T

Hi Lana, I didn't see Identiy yet. Will see it soon :-)

David Chester

Clever idea, indeed.

Linda Scarlett

Hi Wardan, I am not sure who HANDS is?

Wardaan T

HANDS is not a single character (my mistake, I put it in CAPS), hands are in general various commuters hands, we will identify them as various characters from their look.

Stuart Land

HI, Wardan. While the concept is good, the formatting for a logline is incorrect. I agree with Oriel. There are many places online that tell you how to write a logline. Loglines are difficult. You need to put more work into this one. Also, have someone check your grammar.

Jalleh Doty

It's a good logline. but are you going for a pulp novel angle? Suggestion? Maybe the door handle has a story to tell and that the people are just receptacles....

Nathaniel Baker

Rated this content

Shahriar Bourbour

Rated this content

Egi David Perdana II

Rated this content

Dunya K. Ibrahim

New idea. I've never seen a movie like this before. Well done.

DeShawn Buckner

Rated this content

register for stage 32 Register / Log In