THE STAGE 32 LOGLINES
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WHIFFED
By Marc Isaacs
In the early 1970s, a former industrial arts teacher stakes his claim on a groundbreaking invention after it becomes a sensation for a major toy company.
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2 people like this
I like the story, Marc Isaacs. Is there a way to add the stakes to the logline (example: he needs money, so the money from the product will help)? That's the only part I see that's missing.
3 people like this
Maurice Vaughan, there is definitely a way to add stakes. I think that's what taking a fictional approach to this true story will open up for me. Thanks so much for the feedback.
1 person likes this
Greg Dorchak, thanks for the feedback. I thought about starting the story sooner when the teacher is actually developing the idea. That could be a place to introduce stakes as well. I like the structure of making the stakes come at the end of the logline, too.
Rated this logline
Maurice Vaughan, does this version address what you felt was missing before?